Posted on 12/29/2002 5:16:30 PM PST by MadIvan
Marriage is more damaging to a woman's well-being than a man's because it offers her fewer immediate personal benefits, says research by a Government-funded group.
The One Plus One Marriage and Partnership Research organisation said that while married men appeared physically better off than single men, the same could not be said for married women.
Furthermore, single men were more likely to regard themselves as unhappy compared to married men. The same was not generally true of single women.
Research among more than 2,000 divorced couples found that women had to make a greater adjustment to marriage than men.
"The greater part of the husband's day will continue to be spent much as it was before his marriage, whereas this is rarely so for the wife," said Penny Mansfield, director of One Plus One.
"If she continues to work, she is likely to have to combine the job of housewife with that of full-time worker. This in itself may be a source of stress because she will have less opportunity for relaxation.
"Even if the wife does not work following marriage, there may be adjustment difficulties for her since she has to learn to adopt a completely different lifestyle.
"The absence of colleagues, workmates and the loss of an independent income will require varying degrees of adaptation which may all contribute to a sense of increasing isolation."
Half of those surveyed reported difficulties of sexual adjustment, particularly after the birth of a baby, while about the same (48 per cent) spoke of adjustment difficulties connected with housing and finance.
Most (73 per cent) said the problems which led to marital failure started within the first five years but for a third they surfaced within the first 12 months. The duration of marital "happiness" among the couples, whose marriages lasted an average of 10-14 years, was only 3.87 years.
The Government is spending millions of pounds on research into why marriages fail and what can be done to help couples stay together.
Family campaigners blame marital breakdown on Labour policies which have stripped away the tax benefits and most of the legal privileges that go with staying married.
In August the Lord Chancellor's department acknowledged that the number of couples who divorced rose for the first time in almost a decade. There were 860 more decrees absolute - the legal measure that finalises divorce - last year than in 2000, making a total of 137,270 completed divorces.
The organisation pointed to American research which showed that couples who did manage to stay married allowed each spouse to retain some sense of autonomy.
That meant being careful about what was argued about and accepting compromises. The basic components of long-lasting marriages were love, trust and respect.
Reminds me of an old cigarette commercial:
It's not how long you make it, it's how you make it long...
Yes you do. When you are in your mid-30's like me, you will find a new respect for the talents(and flexibility) of 20-something females.
No one says you have to talk to them. Do your business while they finish their cotton candy.
Hey, my husband could say that to me and I'd laugh. But, I suppose if he had said that to me before we were married, I might not have laughed ;-).
I may be setting my boys up for trouble because I let them tease me about things like my weight or intelligence all the time. I have to occasionally remind them that most women don't like those kinds of jokes and they better remember that their wives probably won't take it as well.
Do you like to make them or receive them?
Ignore them, until they do what you want. Women cannot stand to be ignored. It is like torture to them.
If she asks whats wrong, just say "You know whats wrong!" Then turn up the TV volume. She'll wash your dishes AND put them away.......
You must be like my husband. He has NEVER answered a hypothetical question of mine. He is an engineer (so am I, actually) and probably very caught up in reality, lol. He has never liked hypothetical questions. He always says, "If that situation ever arises, I'll let you know then what I'll do." He also is very honest when I ask him questions like, "What do you think of this dress?" If it makes me look fat, he tells me. I actually appreciate his honesty. I want to look good for him, so if he's not honest, then how will I know what to wear?
Refuse to wear anything at all until he makes a suggestion. Be prepared, in case it has nothing to do with clothing.
I knew I was opening myself up for a comment like that, lol. Well, I'm outta here. I have a little girl who wants to watch a VeggieTales movie with me, so that's what I'm going to do.
BuddhaBoy, I do hope you found the woman of your dreams and that you are the man of her dreams. There aren't many things better than a good marriage.
Good Pizza beats it by a mile. Heck, BAD pizza beats it by a mile.
Oh, what I could do with that. I suppose you would have to SHARE your pizza with the little crumb-snatcher too?
LOL!
Time to go. Goodnight.
HA! .. I'm on a winter break, NASCAR doesn't start back up for another month
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