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Prayer Warriors Needed - FReeper desperate
myself | 11/12/02 | Genesis defender

Posted on 11/12/2002 4:36:35 PM PST by Genesis defender

This is my first article posting, so I hope I do this right.

I am desperate. My world as I know it is falling apart. Last Thursday morning my wife told me I have until January 1st to move out. She is kicking me out because of many things, but I will list as many as I can recall.

She has good reason to give me the boot. We have been married for five and a half years, and before we were married I promised her that I would take care of her and support the family so she could stay home. Unfortunately, I have a huge problem with following through on my promises.

For five years I have made similar promises of getting a job, looking for a job, and just doing chores around the house. I tried for a time, but eventually slid back to my typical behavior of procrastinating. I have held various jobs throughout this time, but none were well-paying enough to support a family.

To make things worse, I had an addiction that prevented me from doing constructive things with my time. Please don't laugh when I tell you what I was addicted to. It was video games. I would play at times six to eight hours a day during periods of unemployment.

Two Saturdays ago, my wife first told me she had been thinking of kicking me out, and at that point I did something I should have done years ago. I asked her to come into our computer room, collected all of my computer game CDs (close to 30 in all), and I broke all of them.

I thought that had been enough for the time to prevent me getting kicked out. But I was wrong.

Complicating things is the fact that we have a two and a half year-old son together. I love that little boy a whole bunch, but I haven't provided properly for either him or his mommy like a husband and man should.

I have been an awful human being towards my wife. I have had her hopes up, then dashed so many times. She has told me she likes me as a friend and our son's father, but she says she no longer loves me as a husband.

She has also told me she doesn't know what she wants me to do that would make her love me again.

We are separating, not divorcing (for now). She told me the ONLY reason she has not divorced me is because she is a Christian.

So I am asking for two prayer requests:
First, that the Lord will heal my crumbling marriage by fundamentally changing my habits and healing my wife's broken heart. I have frantically been trying to change, but I want this time to be permanent.
Second, that God would help me find a job to support myself by Jan 1st. I so desperately want to prove to my wife that I can support myself and be a Godly man for once in my life.


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To: John Jamieson
Start at thread on your penis, prayer might help.
41 posted on 11/12/2002 5:04:52 PM PST by Registered
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To: Genesis defender
I asked her to come into our computer room, collected all of my computer game CDs (close to 30 in all), and I broke all of them.

You should have sold those CD games on eBay.

I do hope you get yourself together. Good luck.

42 posted on 11/12/2002 5:05:02 PM PST by Cagey
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To: MsLady
And I know that you know that God is awesome, cause you have been to that place where only He can get you through...How do I know?...been there too!

Keep the faith, Lady!

43 posted on 11/12/2002 5:05:33 PM PST by hope
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To: Genesis defender
A prayer for you and your family. Take ANY type of employment...the dumber, the better some times....allows you to consider what you are doing and where you want to go.
Good Luck
44 posted on 11/12/2002 5:05:36 PM PST by pgobrien
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To: Genesis defender
Okay, I'm going to pray for you but you need to do some serious reforming. Get a job and KEEP it. Help around the house and just be a responsible GROWN-UP.
45 posted on 11/12/2002 5:05:43 PM PST by tiki
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To: John Jamieson
John 8:7 He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
46 posted on 11/12/2002 5:06:03 PM PST by MsLady
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To: Genesis defender
I'll pray for you, but right now I think might have to accept that fact that it could take some time to get things sorted out. Assume you're not going to be there for awhile, and act accordingly. Start getting things in order. You've got a good mind and two good hands (I assume), and you've got 6 weeks to do what you can with them for your wife and child before you have to leave them alone. Don't worry so much about yourself and worry a little more about them. IMHO.
47 posted on 11/12/2002 5:06:26 PM PST by tacticalogic
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To: John Jamieson
"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy."
48 posted on 11/12/2002 5:06:39 PM PST by ladyinred
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To: John Jamieson
I am a dedicated Christian who has made some really bad mistakes. Are you a Christian?
49 posted on 11/12/2002 5:07:20 PM PST by Genesis defender
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To: Genesis defender
Prayers for you G-D. Get your feet on the ground and then work it out with your family. Stand strong, be proud. Hit the ground running!
50 posted on 11/12/2002 5:08:20 PM PST by stainlessbanner
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To: John Jamieson
What you did will do nothing to help the situation. He may have made huge mistakes, but calling him pond scum is uncalled for, and smacks of chilidishness.
51 posted on 11/12/2002 5:08:34 PM PST by sharktrager
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To: hope
Thanks!!! G-d is AWESOME. I love Him more then my life.
52 posted on 11/12/2002 5:09:06 PM PST by MsLady
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To: Genesis defender
You're going to have to prove yourself to her big guy. Just getting a job now won't do it. You have to sit down with her and tell her that you understand, that you know this is your fault. You have to say that you know she no longer loves you but that's not going to stop you from trying to get your life back together. Then do it.

Go and get a job, straighten out your life, pay her child support (even though she hasn't asked for a divorce), go to see your child on a regular basis. If you do these things, and she sees that you are serious and committed, she may just give you a second chance.

I'll say a prayer for you, but it's in your hands to change this.

53 posted on 11/12/2002 5:09:47 PM PST by McGavin999
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To: Genesis defender
For the sake of your son the two of you need to do your best to stay together. Do not let him pay the price for your troubles.

Get on your knees every morning and make a commitment to God that you will carry yourself in a manner that is worthy of Him, then spend the rest of each taking making it so. You have been given two marvelous gifts, and up to this point you have done your best to squander them.

Some others here have recommended professional help, and that is probably a good suggestion. Regardless of how you approach this, I'll offer one bit of wisdom: To get yourself out of this rut you must adopt an attitude that places a higher value on the well-being of someone else than on your own trials and concerns. Your difficulty in finding a job is clearly a symptom of something else -- your tendency to dwell on yourself even to point of endangering your relationship with those you love.

And you are certainly in my prayers. The Lord Who sees to it that the birds have enough to eat and the flowers have enough rain will certainly not turn His back on you if you make an effort here.

Please let me know how things work out for you. A dramatic short-term change in your approach to life will be a small step in the right direction, and it may be enough to convince your wife that you have made an honest commitment to change your life.

54 posted on 11/12/2002 5:10:12 PM PST by Alberta's Child
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To: Genesis defender
God will help you and you can help him do that. Your wife has stuck with you all this time. You are right to realize that you are a very fortunate man, beyond what you deserve. I don't care what degrees you have. Get out and work. Work at anything and just as hard as you can. In that same town where you live now, I supported myself and my child. Waitressing and then an office job; I worked 2 jobs most of the time. I believed in God and I knew I had to do it for my child. You will find all of the support and encouragement you could ever want right here (Mr. Jamieson notwithstanding), but get going, now. No time left. End of rant.
55 posted on 11/12/2002 5:10:52 PM PST by Bahbah
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To: Genesis defender
You need prayer but you also need to get off your butt and hustle out and get a job. Go to McDonald's and fry hamburgers.....that can be honorable work!
56 posted on 11/12/2002 5:12:18 PM PST by Doctor Don
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To: Genesis defender
My heart goes out to you. It sounds as though you do realize the steps you need to take. Posting this and admitting to your shortcomings wasn't easy I am sure and shows great humility. As soon as I read this, I said a prayer for you and your family.
You got some very good advice on here already, and I agree with all of it with one exception that will remain nameless. It appears you are depressed and you should see a doctor right away. There are wonderful treatments now for depression.
With our prayers adding to yours, and your action on the things you know you must do, I feel sure things will get better for you. Hopefully someone here will have leads on a job for you, but if not, you need to pound the pavement so to speak until you find one that suits your talents. God bless you and your family.
57 posted on 11/12/2002 5:13:45 PM PST by ladyinred
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To: Genesis defender
Sorry, me again. Have you been out to Kohler. They have a great new start up venture that makes trailers for use in natural disasters. It is very hot.
58 posted on 11/12/2002 5:14:13 PM PST by Bahbah
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To: Genesis defender
I have lived a more Chistian life than you have.

Nothing is more important than family. You need to get off this time wasting forum and go look for a job. The problem is you and the answer is you, NOT us.

Are you solving your problem by posting on FR instead of playing games? I think you're still playing games.
59 posted on 11/12/2002 5:14:18 PM PST by John Jamieson
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To: hope; Genesis defender
Actually, the phrase isn't in the Bible but the Bible does say that "faith without works is dead".

Defender, your initial post asked us to pray that God would change you. He wants to and he will if you will actively seek to obey.

Just sitting there waiting to be zapped by God is defeat for you, my friend because God can't change your habits while you are passive. Have you ever tried to steer a parked car?

You have years of inertia to overcome. Start working around the house. TODAY! Now!

Look for odd jobs while your job search is on.

If you can't find odd jobs, volunteer! Why? You need to prove to future employers, your wife, and most ot all to yourself that you are changing no matter what.

I'd also suggest strict rationing of on-line time, including Free Republic. I did that last Lent as a spiritual discipline and it was very helpful. I plan to do it again.

In any case, I want ot pray for you and have my church join in.

Can you either post your first name or else Freepmail me so I can use your name in prayer?

God bless

Paul ( a.k.a. Newberger)

60 posted on 11/12/2002 5:15:18 PM PST by newberger
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