Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Who left the dimensional door open? - Thread 024

Posted on 09/07/2002 11:22:43 PM PDT by acnielsen guy

THREAD 024



Dregs and Flakes

Posts since 1/29/02
25,975



TOPICS: Arts/Photography; Astronomy; Chit/Chat; Dimensional Doorway; Food; Hobbies; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: hillary; theguild
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 581-600601-620621-640 ... 1,041-1,045 next last
To: grannie9
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."




From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.




In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.




Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."




"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."




"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks are in the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children...or other adults acting like children."




"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."



601 posted on 09/20/2002 9:01:04 AM PDT by lodwick
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 600 | View Replies]

To: grannie9; All
Good afternoon...the morning completely got away from me today. I'm so glad the pesto came out good...I'll be making some tomorrow. ;-)
602 posted on 09/20/2002 9:08:08 AM PDT by Kathleen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 600 | View Replies]

To: grannie9
Missing parts?
Think I'm missing my mind. If you see it wandering around here, please send it back to me. Trust me, you'll recognise it instantly when you see it.

In the meantime..something I ran across that has nothing at all to do with anything here.



May I Love you madly
like a boy?
Kiss you sadly?
Feed you tears and drink your skin?
Invite myself right in?
May I?

Her
Half-child voice falls on my head like warmest ocean waves
GENTLY and deliberately drowning me
And WILLINGLY I drown.

If I ask politely
Will you watch as I die nightly?
Would you think me TACTLESS if I act LESS like the man I am?
May I?

Her
Half-closed eyes like those,
on a tired TIGERESS.
Gently and deliberately melt my BULLETPROOF MIRRORSHADES
AND
Knowingly
Lovingly
Peer inside at MY REAL EYES
And I can't help but SMILE
No I can't help.
-tigeress-

Would you think me thoughtless
If I thought less of myself from time to time,
Or if I knowingly, willingly lost what's left of my MIND
Oh, I can't help but smile
No, I can't help.


-Into Another 'May I?'
603 posted on 09/20/2002 12:28:59 PM PDT by Darksheare
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 600 | View Replies]

To: lodwick; All
A pic by Darksheare.

How's this Dark?


604 posted on 09/20/2002 12:34:11 PM PDT by grannie9
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 601 | View Replies]

To: grannie9
Pretty close on the color. I think I succeeded in my 'experiment'. Guess I can now fight it out with the machine for the rest of the color images then?
605 posted on 09/20/2002 12:41:35 PM PDT by Darksheare
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 604 | View Replies]

To: Darksheare; lodwick; habs4ever; Kathleen; grannie9; acnielsen guy; westmex; Neets; All
Good afternoon all...seems like today is the day for folks to be banging on my door and doorbell, and not leaving me alone....

First came the Parcel post truck, bringing me a delivery....he just ding dongs the bell like mad, and takes off in his truck, leaving packages behind....then it was some guy selling fish and chicken off a truck....then it was the mailman, banging away, bringing me two packages.....then it was two young Mormon gentlemen, trying to convert me....(New Mormons appear on my doorstep, every two weeks or so, they seem to be in a mad scurry to be converting folks)....now Dizzy in whining, and BigDom is fussing about something or another....

Calgon....take me away....

Westy...did you catch Lou Pinella on the news the other night, pitching a fit over a bad call at first base, during the Mariners game? I swear, I thought he was going to have a stroke...he was shaking and his face was turning colors, and the veins in his head were popping out.....and then it took several players to restrain him....then he started throwing and kicking his hat....when he ripped first base out of the ground and began tossing it around, throwing it, I thought I was going to lose it....Boy, was he ever mad...

Warmish, clear weather is continuing on here...if it is still going to be nice next weekend, BigDom and I may head for Mt. Rainier, and go camping....at least go up for the day....

Well, better go cook for BigDom, and get him sent on his way...he leave a little early today, needing a haircut....
606 posted on 09/20/2002 12:42:16 PM PDT by andysandmikesmom
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 603 | View Replies]

To: Darksheare; grannie9
Hey guys - good afternoon to ya.

Gran - try rotating Darks' pic 90 degrees at a whack - standing on my head is not an option.

This looks most interesting Darks - thanks for sharing it with us.
607 posted on 09/20/2002 1:20:27 PM PDT by lodwick
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 603 | View Replies]

To: andysandmikesmom
OOps - good afternoon Mom. There's way too many folks at your door today - and the day is still young out west. Hope to see ya later.
608 posted on 09/20/2002 1:23:04 PM PDT by lodwick
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 606 | View Replies]

To: acnielsen guy; habs4ever; Darksheare; yall
Bad dog?

or good dog?


609 posted on 09/20/2002 2:59:25 PM PDT by lodwick
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 608 | View Replies]

Anyone have a church-key handy?


610 posted on 09/20/2002 3:51:33 PM PDT by lodwick
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 609 | View Replies]

To: habs4ever
Glad to hear you are havening "Stormy weather"...but we are haveining a Martini of a good time here...enchillada for dinner later today...tomorrow it's Italian Chicken New Orleans Style with Spaghettil Bordelaise. Too bad ya can't join us HAR HAR HAR!! (Can ya?)
611 posted on 09/20/2002 4:43:13 PM PDT by Neets
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 597 | View Replies]

To: lodwick
And just why do they call it a church key? I remember the days, when I was growing up, and we had church dinners and bake sales with lunch and smorgasbords all the time...growing up in a Methodist church, where half the members were originally from Norway, and spoke Norwegian as their first language, we always had 'smorgasbords'....it was all so wonderful....

But I always remember helping out the ladies in the kitchen(oh, wasnt I the good little girl), someone would always wonder "Now, where is that church key?"....meaning, of course, where was the can opener....

But I have never figured out why they called it the 'church key'...does anyone have the answer?
612 posted on 09/20/2002 5:05:18 PM PDT by andysandmikesmom
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 610 | View Replies]

To: andysandmikesmom; yall
Church key, a slang term for a bottle opener, is first recorded in 1951, although it is undoubtedly older. It's US slang, so called because the bottle openers resemble the heavy, ornate keys that unlock big, old doors like those found in churches. The origin may also be related to the irony of associating churches with drinking.

Maybe, maybe not. bbl ;-)
613 posted on 09/20/2002 5:21:01 PM PDT by lodwick
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 612 | View Replies]

To: lodwick; grannie9; acnielsen guy; westmex; habs4ever; Kathleen; Neets; Darksheare; Mo1; All
Well, loddy, you are a font of information....

Here is a little story about my good old dad, when I was a girl....Always at Chrismtas, we had these candlelight services....and they always picked 4 girls to be the candle girls, who got to go up front, and light their candles at the altar, then the lights were turned out, and while the organist played 'Silent Night', the candle girls would light the candle of the first person in the pew, who would then light his neighbors candle and so on and so forth...

Nothing but the lights from the candles and the lights from the two Christmas trees up in the front of the church were on(The two trees were especially beautiful, as they were nothing but big light blue lights, and carefuly arranged tinsel...the trees lookied like they were surround in ice and blue light from the moon)...

It was always a honor to be picked to be one of the 4 candle girls and this particular year I got picked...I was also asked to play a little piano solo, as I had been taking piano lessons, and actually was able to play a nice rendition of 'O Holy Night'....so this was a big night for me,being a candle girl, and also playing a piano solo, in front of the whole congregation, which was really more like my family, as I had been raised in that church since a baby...

Anyway, my dad had been out with a few friends on this particular Sunday evening, and they were celebrating the season, and lo and behold, dad got drunk....he arrived home in time to try to get ready for the Candlelight service, but my mom was so mad at him, that she forbid him from coming to church, drunk and all...so she took me and my little brother, and off we went in a huff....

As the Candlelight Service was beginning, the people were coming in, and me and the other three candle girls were all excited....the church was full, and the choir was marching in, and we candle girls were leading the choir....the choir went to its designated place, and we four candle girls sat in the front pew, right in front of the altar, so that we would be right near to the candles when it was our turn to light our candles....

We sat all straight, ,and eyes forward, and did behave ourselves....the congregation sang Chistmas songs, the minister preached, the choir sang, and soon it was going to be my turn to play my little solo, and after that we candle girls were going to light our candles....

The minister announced my name, and my solo, and I went up to the Baby Grand Piano in front of the whole congregation, and butterflies were certainly in my tunmy....I sat down, looked at my music, and YIKES...there was my dad, sitting there in the second row...he was neatly shaved, wearing his suit, but I knew he was dead drunk....he was sitting alone, mom would not sit with him, she was probably so mad and embarrassed....

I really got nervous now...I had to play my solo, hoping for no mistakes, and then I had to worry about my dad doing or saying something while drunk....but all was well...I played quite flawlessly(I was probably in shock)....we candle girls lit, out candles, ,and in turn, lit all the candles of the people in the congregation, while the organist played 'Silent Night'....then we all sang 'Silent Night'...the service end, I turned around and dad was gone...

By the time my mom had gathered up me and my brother, the kind folks in the congregation and the minister and his wife, congratulated me playing my little solo, and doing a good job as a candle girl....and me and mom and brother hurried home...

When we got home, dad was fast asleep, hidden under the blankets on a couch we kept on the enclosed back porch...we figured he hid out there, as we knew mom was mad at him for getting drunk, and showing up drunk at the church...but then he was quiet, well behaved, and caused no trouble....

He told us the next day, he was sorry for being drunk, but could not stay home, as this was his little girls(me, of course) debut as a piano soloist, and candle girl...

I have been in many candlelight services since that time...first as a candle girl, then as the church pianist, and eventually as the church organist...and all the services have been moving and lovely, and nearly always bring a tear to my eye....

But no Candlelight Christmas Service, ever meant as much to me, as the one I just described, ,with a mad mother, a drunken dad, and me so nervous about my first piano solo...
It always touched me that dad made that effort to get to see me, drunk or not...

And of course, the minister and the rest of the folks had to have known dad was drunk...eegaads, you could smell it on him....but, God loves us all, and perhaps dad was looking for a little forgiveness that particular night...
And I think he probably got it, as God does love and forgive us, and God would probably welcome drunks in need of reforming...after all, it does seem that church is where a drunken man, might find some forgiveness for his sins...
614 posted on 09/20/2002 5:53:33 PM PDT by andysandmikesmom
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 613 | View Replies]

To: andysandmikesmom
Please let me reply tomorrow - tonight is a broken down chair night here. ;-)
615 posted on 09/20/2002 6:49:14 PM PDT by lodwick
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 614 | View Replies]

To: lodwick
Do have some fun, with breaking those chairs...
616 posted on 09/20/2002 6:52:50 PM PDT by andysandmikesmom
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 615 | View Replies]

To: andysandmikesmom
bad, bad, bad....
617 posted on 09/20/2002 7:01:14 PM PDT by habs4ever
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 616 | View Replies]

To: andysandmikesmom
How did you know he was drunk?
618 posted on 09/20/2002 7:03:17 PM PDT by habs4ever
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 614 | View Replies]

To: habs4ever
You could always tell when my dad was drunk...for one thing, he weaved and bobbed all over...for another, you could smell the liquor...for another, he got exceptionally mean when he was drunk....I dont know why that was...most of the time, when he got drunk, he just got plain mean, and we were all scared of him....

But this one time, at church, he did behave...but he certainly was drunk...

Shortly after that time, he cut out most of his drinking, except on rare occasions...
619 posted on 09/20/2002 7:15:47 PM PDT by andysandmikesmom
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 618 | View Replies]

To: andysandmikesmom
Could it be a coincidence that your recital changed his ways? Seems more than likely he had an epiphany while you were playing the piano :-)
620 posted on 09/20/2002 8:16:34 PM PDT by habs4ever
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 619 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 581-600601-620621-640 ... 1,041-1,045 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson