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I am glad that this new thread was started....I just now got in on the tail end of the other thread, where they had just been informed, that it was announced the Ricci was dead...

Some posters there, seemed to think that pulling the plug on someone who is declared brain dead was done too quickly...and thought that the family should have waited more days before 'pulling the plug'....

Frankly, I dont know what the situation was in Riccis case, medical wise...however, I had an terrible experience with someone with a brain hemorrhage, being declared brain dead, and thought it might be somewhat helpful to relay our own familys experience with this situation....

My son, a 15yr old boy, was undergoing chemotherapy for a relapse of a usually terminal type of leukemia, when he suffered a massive cerebral hemorrhage...after what seemed like forever, the tests revealed that at least 1/2 of his brain had been destroyed by the hemorrhage...and they further informed us, that due to extreme swelling of the brain, which always occurs in this instance, they had expected that the other half of his brain, would also become destroyed, rendering him brain dead...

They said the hemorrhage was so extensive, that they could do nothing, not even drilling burr holes in the skull to alleviate pressure, which is sometimes done with smaller hemorrhages....

And so a waiting game began...initially our son was not brain dead, according to the machines he was hooked to...he still had some minimum brain function...but 24hrs later, there was not indication of any brain function at all....

Out of consideration to us, being the parents of a child who was to all medical intents 'dead', they docs did not insist on pulling the plug...which they could have done, because in the state of Washington, where we reside, brain death is considered real 'death', and docs can pull the plug, because the patient is now considered dead...

However, the docs waited for another 24hrs. before informing us that we really needed to seriously consider disconnecting my son....now, in our heads we were convinced that our son was gone, but in our hearts, we were unsure...and the docs saw this...

So they again performed their routine tests, which again showed my son as being brain dead...they then temporarily disconnected our son, to see if he would begin to breath on his own, which he did not...they then reconnected him, and took him to another lab, where they performed a test, to see if any oxygen was reaching his brain, or was it being prevented from reaching the brain, due to the severe nature of the hemorrhage....this test showed that absolutely no oxygen was reaching our sons brain....

And so, even tho it was just a little more than 2 days since our son suffered his brain hemorrhage, all tests done repeatedly and repeatedly, being done by some of the best doctors at the Childrens Hospital in Seattle, convinced us that he was 'brain dead' and therefore 'dead' and allowing him more time would do nothing to bring him back to us...

And so sadly we allowed him to be disconnected....

The mere thought that we should have waited, because the doctors might have been wrong, horrifies me, that one would even suggest I pulled the plug too soon, suggests I prefered to see my son dead...Nothing could be further from the truth....I would have done anything in the world to have my son alive, if it were possible...one can come back from 'minimal brain function'....one does not come back to life, if one is truly 'brain dead', verified by multiple and repeated testings...

There but by the grace of God go I.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. You did the right thing in what has to be the hardest of all life's difficult situations.

Your post pulled at my heart strings. As a medical professional in charge of ventilatory support of patients, I can say that you did the right thing to let your son go, in peace. You had verified proof that he was indeed brain dead, and therefore deceased at the time he was committed to being ventilated by artificial means.

Please do not let these conspiracy pseudo medical experts on this thread make you doubt your decision.

Nobody really knows if they have not had the experience of a brain hemorrhage, It happened to my Grandmother. She died instantly.

I am so sorry for your loss...that must have been and probably still is, a nightmare...

look, Ricci had very little chance...he was over the 4 minute window of opportunity when they started the cpr as far as I can detect from the news....in ordinary circumstances, they may not even have done surgery...but with this high profile case, if they didn't do surgery, then what would the whispers be...

I think this is a good decision on the part of the family....there is no bad decision if you make it with love for that person....

I do think that a person could be given blood thinners that might lead to hemorraging....

who knows for sure what happened....

isn't it sad that after all this time, we still don't have any answers..

one more thing...Dinse had better stop insinuating that Ricci was a suspect unless he can prove it unconditionally....sounds to me like what they have is very circumstantial.....

So very sorry for your loss. I'm glad the hospital worked with you and allowed you the time needed. I was hoping you were going to say he recovered. May God bless you and your family and give you comfort. You did all possible to save him.

We've never had any experience with anything like this, we didn't know what we were talking about.

I can still feel the pain of that terrible loss of your beloved son.

There is no simply no comparison between what your family went through and whatever occurred with this Ricci guy....

I am shocked reading the conspiracy theories on this thread....though I shouldn't be. With all the hospital personnel involved etc...it would be very difficult to conceal whatever they are implying here. Ricci apparently was a great con artist - and even in death he's conning some.

My sympathy is to the poor Smart family who have suffered a horrible blow now, with their greatest fear of NEVER finding their daughter.

People need to focus on that, and pray very hard that someone knows something and now - with his death behind them - will reveal what they know and give the Smart family some peace.

Hope all is well with you A&M's mom , and how is ANDY? :)

The mere thought that we should have waited, because the doctors might have been wrong, horrifies me, that one would even suggest I pulled the plug too soon, suggests I prefered to see my son dead...Nothing could be further from the truth....I would have done anything in the world to have my son alive, if it were possible...one can come back from 'minimal brain function'....one does not come back to life, if one is truly 'brain dead', verified by multiple and repeated testings...

I am truly sorry for your loss and I believe that your family did all you could. I don't think the posters meant anything by giving Ricci a little longer to make sure he was brain dead. Evidently he had responses to stimuli and swelling of the brain may have hidden some minimal functions.

Some hospitals and doctors start telling the family to pull the plug too soon. I went through my mother's death and my father's. My mother died of an aneurysm, she was in a coma for a week. Logically, I knew she was dead, but wasn't ready to accept this. My dad and my older sister made a decision to pull support. I didn't even know they made this decision until many years later when my sister was crying about the decision. I would have hated to make the decision myself.

Now when my father was dying the doctors were definitely telling us to give up (about the same time the insurance was running out). He still had his brain functions. After he died, I told my husband that I didn't want any doctor to make the decision and to make sure I was gone before the doctors pulled a plug.

So I've gone through the experience and understand your post and really truly think you made the right decision, but I sure understand the poster that said make sure I'm dead before the plug is pulled.