The 50 Worst Sports Ideas Ever

Washington Times ^ | April 25, 2002 | Patrick Hruby

[L.N. Smithee]

Like leisure suits and the Ford Pinto, it was an idea to suit its era.

Which is to say, surpassingly ill-conceived. On a warm summer evening in 1974, the attendance-starved Cleveland Indians held their first

[doug from upland]

Candlestick Park

[BluesDuke]

Finley was such a skinflint, it's hard to believe he fed the donkey.

You ever hear of a donkey asking for a raise?

[BluesDuke]

While I agree that snails move at a faster pace than the first round, where else can you see the Bengals annual screwing of the pooch, or Mike Ditka make a complete ass of himself by trading his entire draft for Ricky Williams, then sporting dreadlocks?

I'm sure it doesn't take two days for either the Bengals or Ditka to make asses of themselves...

[BluesDuke]

Celebrations: To me, what has made watching the NFL almost the equivilant of watching WWF. Note to players; there have been THOUSANDS before you that have made hard tackles, interceptions, 80 yard runs for touchdowns, etc...So please do us all a favor, and do away with the choreographed dance routines after a simple pulling guard play has been executed.

Amen to that! Another good reason to avoid football like a case of AIDS. Except for Dennis Rodman in a wedding dress or Charlie (King Kong) Keller just being there, there's probably no uglier sight in professional sports than a 300 pound side of pork making in the end zone like he's Elvis, Jr....

[BluesDuke]

Trivia note: He used the cash to finance the show No, No, Nanette!

Not quite. He did use the money involved in the Ruth deal for his theatric productions, but it was with the proceeds of his sale of the Red Sox club itself in 1923 by which he financed No, No, Nanette in short order (and it took a few months, a few remakes, and a few hit engagements on the road before the show broke big in New York in 1925-26). Technically, it wasn't Babe Ruth who was traded for the biggest hit of Frazee's career as a producer.

Even so, believe it or not, the Red Sox could have survived the loss of Ruth. At the time Frazee made the deal, he was looking to strike a cash deal with the White Sox for outfielder Happy Felsch - until Felsh became exposed as one of the infamous Eight Men Out. Felsch was certainly no Ruth, but his skills as they were would have made him a better than useful player in Fenway Park.

Meanwhile, the real "Curse of the Bambino" came not so much because Babe Ruth went to the Yankees - but because, as security for the $300,000 Yankee owner Jacob Ruppert floated to Frazee, take a wild guess what Frazee put up as the collateral: Fenway Park itself. Read this carefully, ladies and gentlemen: The New York Yankees in effect held the title to Fenway Park until the Frazee loan could be retired, as it was after John T. Quinn bought the Red Sox from Frazee in 1923. And, in the interim, because he held Frazee's mortgage, Ruppert - don't condemn him, he wasn't doing anything any other astute magnate wouldn't have done - wouldn't be singing anything but "I'm Just Wild About Harry," because Frazee was in no position to say no (not unless he wanted his note called in post haste, he wasn't) whenever Jake the Brewmeister decided this or that Red Sox player or prospect would be a perfect fit for a Yankee uniform.

If all Frazee had done was trade Babe Ruth, the Sox could have survived. And, they might even have been pennant winners in their own right. The Babe was the biggest gate attraction and the most statistically singular player in the league, but here's the tally for the first decade of the Yankee dynasty: six pennants, three World Series titles (1923, 1927, 1928). They could have won the 1926 Series in the seventh game, except for a certain right fielder, who basically ran like a beach ball with legs from the knees down only, that was unable to stop scratching his itch to steal - the worst of his baseball skills - in the bottom of the ninth with two out, getting thrown out by about three miles and taking the bat out of Bob Meusel's hand...with Lou Gehrig on deck. (This was the game in which Grover Cleveland Alexander came out of the bullpen to strike out Tony Lazzeri with the bases loaded - in the seventh inning; it was a special performance by a no-questions-asked Hall of Fame pitcher reaching back for one more bolt of glory, but it didn't cost the Yankees the Series - they had two more cracks at it until Ruth took the bat out of Meusel's hands.)


What did come from the Red Sox to solidify any "curse" and the Yankee coming-of-age was more than Babe Ruth. He was the marquee man, no questions asked. But if the names Bullet Joe Bush, Jumpin' Joe Dugan, Waite Hoyt, Sad Sam Jones, Herb Pennock, Wally Schang, and Deacon Scott sound familiar, they should - be advised that these celebrated-enough Yankees of the 1920s, who helped fill out the team and set them up to win those six 1920s pennants, were feathers plucked off the Red Sox rooster to join the erstwhile Sox phenomenon named Ruth and start that Bronx dynasty. No less than three of their Red Sox plucks became Hall of Famers: Ruth, Pennock and Hoyt. Real Red Sox fans still think about how many pennants the Red Sox might have won with the Babe and those gentlemen staying in Fenway.

The Curse of the Bambino, properly construed, is in fact the Curse of Broadway. It comforts us Red Sox fans little enough, but history does have its claim, too.

Classic comment: Babe Ruth, writing in due course of dickering with the contract dispute that helped prod Frazee to think about selling him: After helping the Red Sox win another pennant and the World Series in the last war year, I wanted more money from Frazee. I put my price at $10,000 and felt I had it coming. (He did. There's no question but the Red Sox would not have won the 1918 pennant and Series without him.) But Frazee yelled as if I were trying to rob the cash drawer at the old Frazee Theatre in New York. For $10,000 he said he'd expect at least John Barrymore. I asked him what good Barrymore's profile would be with the bases loaded in a tight ball game.

[AmishDude]

You could write a bestseller with your FR posts alone! What great, detailed information. I only know of one other writer who has such a love for the poetry (and prose) of baseball and he makes a living writing political columns.

Now, despite the Red Sox' bad luck, would it be safe to say that -- long term -- the worst sports franchise ever would have to be the Philadelphia Phillies? (Ignoring recent teams like the Devil Rays, of course.)

[Vigilantcitizen]

As a longtime Braves fan, I'll have to second the nomination of the chop. Well past it's prime, time to move on....PLEASE....

[BluesDuke]

You could write a bestseller with your FR posts alone! What great, detailed information. I only know of one other writer who has such a love for the poetry (and prose) of baseball and he makes a living writing political columns.

You flatter and honour me.

Now, despite the Red Sox' bad luck, would it be safe to say that -- long term -- the worst sports franchise ever would have to be the Philadelphia Phillies? (Ignoring recent teams like the Devil Rays, of course.)

The Phutile Phillies would be in the running, based predominantly upon their performance between 1917 and 1948, when the team known as the Whiz Kids began coming together; and, from about 1954 through the early 1970s (leave us not forget the season-ending 23-game losing streak of 1961, or the blown pennant of 1964). But they might face stiff competition from the St. Louis Browns, the Kansas City Athletics, and the original Washington Senators ("Washington - First in war, first in peace, and last in the American League"), though even the Senators had their moments. From 1947 until 1968, the Chicago Cubs made a grand bid for the dishonour, until the Leo Durocher Cubs came along to wreck that magnificent record of mediocrity; say what you will about the Durocher era (there's every reason to believe Durocher both made and broke the Cubs' chances of winning the 1969 pennant and ultimately destroyed the team's chances of getting near the pennant again until he resigned somewhat under fire), but for a couple of years he had the Cubs playing with a competitiveness the club hadn't had since the 1930s. The Texas Rangers, born as the second edition of the Washington Senators, are also making a serious bid for the dishonour, as are the Anaheim Angels...

[BluesDuke]

As a longtime Braves fan, I'll have to second the nomination of the chop. Well past it's prime, time to move on....PLEASE....

The Tomahawk Chop may be beginning its terminal phase. You can kind of tell about those things when fans in the enemy ballpark start mimicking your fans' chant or gestures to taunt you. When the Braves played the Mets in New York recently, and the Mets jumped the Braves for a big inning, the Shea Stadium fans started chanting the Tomahawk Chop chant at the Braves. I've seen it happen in a couple of other National League parks, too.

Most fun chant in the majors: Aside from the pleasant revival, seemingly, of Let's go, Mets!, you have to be a real sourpuss not to love it when Mariner fans in Safeco Field, when a certain right fielder comes up to hit, let loose with a relentless EE-chee-RO! EEE-chee-RO! that starts when he's about three steps from the batter's box and doesn't end until the at-bat is over and he's either heading back to the dugout or, more often, reaching base. When it looks like he's got a triple in the making (something he's especially good at hitting), the EE-chee-RO! follows him around the bases until he's safe at third.

It's an affection I understand and share. One of the real pleasures of my baseball watching these days is any chance of getting a Mariners' game on one of my cable channels (I live in southern California), so I can watch Ichiro Suzuki play ball.

[rohry]

I'm surprised that no one mentioned the DH in the American League!

While I am a Boston Red Sox fan (and Derek Lowe just threw the first no-hitter in Fenway Park since 1965 today, BTW), this attempt to add more offense to the game has ruined countless pitchers, reduced the role of bench players and allowed one-dimensional players to stay in the game until they are eligible for Social Security.

[DeadManRunning]

"the contrail made it look like grown men chasing an electric eel with sticks"

Now that would be a sport I'd watch.

[Mad Dawgg]

The Article left out the biggest mistake ever in the history of sports!

Art Modell

[rintense]

This list is bunk without a mention of the Eagles throwback unis.

[grey_whiskers]

Red Sox trading Babe Ruth to the Yankees.

Vikings trading away half the team for Herschel Walker.

Allowing Bill Buckner onto the field during the final game of the World Series.

Max Schmeling agreeing to a rematch with Joe Louis.

Cheers!

[GOP_Raider]

As a San Jose Shark fan who is revelling in the team's first division title, I don't have a problem with teal.

The re-designed jerseys this year are taking some getting used to for me though.

[dfwgator]

The Detroit Lions hiring Matt Millen as GM.

[gondramB]

Does anybody have a link to the original list?

[Professional]

The Wave? You gotta be kidding me, in the Seahawks old Kingdome back in the 80s, that was a religous experience. The whole concrete block was shaking with excitement. Nothing better, than an enthusiastic wave racing around the stadium. Only done, when real fans, are really excited. It died, when the team went through a long period of suckiness. Bill the Beerman, RIP, and the Hawks....