Freeoples ....
Thread 293
Posted on 03/21/2002 8:03:29 AM PST by Mo1
Freeoples ....
Thread 293
It is raining and windy, typical spring weather. Oh, well. I have to take my stacks of stuff to the account this morning. I don't even try to do my own taxes any more. Waaaay to complicated.
The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.
St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you.
We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are short, but you have to pass them before you can get into Heaven"
Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
Here is the first one: What days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one-how many days in the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but ..... you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer."
"How about the next one?" asks St. Peter. "How many seconds in a year?"
"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd. . . .
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the next and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?
"Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy."
"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name of Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learned it from the song. . . .
"ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."
I don't even know why they have these award shows anymore .. I heard the studio's paid some big bucks for votes
Hmmmmmmmmm .. now doesn't that sound familiar ..
Hiya AC. Sounds like either a Word Processing or spreadsheet File. Try importing it into one of the popular spreadsheets and see if it can open it.
So9
Thanks guys for trying to help we will have them resend in a regular format
So9
I am doing better. The stitches are out and the pain is gone, but I still can't use the arm at all and the sling around my neck has my head at a permanent tilt.
Two more weeks and physical therapy starts and I can begin to use my arm some.
When I have the other arm done in the fall the sling on that side should pull my head back to vertical.
So9
I saw this at about 4 am and O'Reilly was clearly missing the point in his pursuit of how much money did Hillary charge in those billing records. What she charged was irrelevant. It was what she charged FOR that mattered - because she was charging for services that were part of the illegal cover-up of the HUGE scam that was Whitewater. She had LIED to Congress saying she was not involved in any of those transactions, yet those billing records showed that she WAS involved and had charged for those services that she said she didn't provide. She was either lying about not being involved or she had lied in her billing charges --- either could have gotten her disbarred at the least, imprisoned at the most. Which is why they disappeared during the critical part of the investigation. But O'Reilly just wanted to know how much she charged - he's a doo-doo head, totally obnoxious and obtuse.
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