Jr. is still having a very difficult time in 8th grade. At this point, if he doesn't get his act together, he won't pass.
We know part of the problem is that we've had a crappy fall...Mom went back to teaching, Grandpa was sick and died, two football injuries, the flu, etc. So he's a little depressed (and recoginizes it).
Wife has a meeting with the school and with him next week. Because he's ADD he has a 504 plan.
Here's my concern:
I think I'm going to be fighting the medication battle again and I don't want to go there. When he started Ritalin in 2nd grade, I thought it was a good thing. But when he hit puberty, it no longer worked, so his pediatrician kept trying new stuff. I finally said "that's enough."
I don't want to go back. I think we can make some significant changes in diet and environment, but I can't get the Mrs. to go along. I know this sounds like I'm whining, but she's really dropped the ball with this one since the little one came along. At first it was understandable because the little one was so demanding (he was a preemie).
But our house is absolute chaos and I can't make any progress. If I don't do the dishes, they don't get done. If I don't do the laundry, it doesn't get done. I take care of the trash, the recycling and the animals (Jr helps when I remind/nag him). She cooks about 1/3 of the time, the rest is fast food/restaurant or pre-prepared crap.
I think changing some of that would make a big difference. But after 16 years, I have little hope that anything will change. And, if I say anything now, I'll look like the heartless SOB that doesn't remember she just lost her father. Well, I DO remember that. And I remember losing mine when I was 20. She just hasn't realized that she's not the only one affected by this.
I'm whining, I know. Some of this crap I just have to live with.
But I'm looking for education options for Jr. Problem is that I know the Mrs. couldn't/wouldn't carry through with homeschooling.
Sigh....
I wish I could offer some advice or even lend a hand, but I am not in any position to do either (no teenagers yet and too far away). I can, however, continue to pray for you and your family.
I have commented before on my admiration of your ability to wear so many hats (and to wear them so well), so I'll spare you any more of that. However, I must say that your willingness to pick up the slack is remarkable and altogether a very rare thing!! Your wife and kids are very lucky to have you.
Don't worry too much about the meals. If fast food starts getting too costly, start looking into cantinas (dinners delivered at home for a reasonable weekly cost), food by the pound (usually a Hispanic bodega offers this, again more affordable than typical fast food) or lots of frozen dinners (for fast meals). As far as the dishes go, it's paper plate time at the Stormhands residence! :)
This is a temporary valley and will pass. As the baby gets older, the Missus will have more time to pick up her old schedule and duties (as a mom of a 5 month old, I can say that each month that goes by gives me a little more breathing room).
As far as Jr.'s grades go, I'll leave that to 2J since she is our resident expert on education.
Hang in there, Corin. You're doing the best you can and it's a dam* fine job you're doing too!!
You may be wrong about the Mrs. and the homeschooling thing. If she sees Jr. taking to it, it may spark her interest. Remember you don't have to TEACH Jr. most things. With upper middle and high schoolers, they are teaching themselves for the most part. They are doing the reading, writing and learning. You are the facilitators. You provide the means and the materials based on what you know of your child's weaknesses and strengths. Sometimes you get it right, and sometimes not. The best part is that when something isn't working, you're not stuck with it, and you don't have to force it on your child because it is something is required by someone else! You can sell it to someone else and buy something NEW! Not all children learn the same way, so homeschooling is wonderful because each subject can be learned in the way that is most suitable for your child.
Remember that YOU don't have to do the teaching, and for those things with which your child needs help, you can always engage a tutor, or enroll him in a homeschool resource center for a couple of classes. The main point I'm trying to make is that this type of education is TRULY geared to your child. Now with Jr., you may have to have a little sit down, 'come to Jesus' meeting about HIS responsibilities to his OWN education. Have you talked to Jr. about this? Don't couch it in terms of "you're not doing well in school, so let's see if we can whip you into shape at home". You could try it like "It is obvious that you seem to be having difficulties being interested in what they're teaching in school. (You've made the SCHOOL the problem, not him!) Have you ever thought about trying homeschooling? We could look into some of the currucula and programs together to choose what you would like and what would be best for you.(You're giving him permission to direct his own learning) Learning is ultimately something you have to do for yourself. No one can MAKE you learn, so it might be fun to find some subjects you would really like to learn about and could teach to yourself." But most kids really jump on this opportunity to follow their interests and do the work in their own time. Sometimes our daughter will only do two subjects in a day. She'll do her Geometry, and either she'll concentrate on Literature or U.S. History. But she'll read for several hours and really LEARN the material rather than be stopped after an hour to move on to something else. It all seems to work out if you have an overall plan about where you want to be by a certain date.
I wish you luck. Your wife could be going through a time of mild depression, that was there before the experiences with her father's illness and death. I had a period like that a few years ago when I had just lost interest in keeping up with the house, and I really wasn't paying attention to what the kids were doing in school. As a result, we didn't notice that they weren't being challenged, and their education was suffering. It took me a couple of years to shake it off, but Sir SuziQ was patient, though it drove him nuts! I'll keep your family in my prayers, Corin. I know it is tough, and the decision to homeschool will be a big one, but I think you're in an area of the country which has many resources available to h/sers.
Well, my advice is worth just about what it costs you, so you can take it or not. Just some thoughts.