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I'm not sure how you motivate kids that are not motivated. Lots of them are just bored, IMO, though that can be coupled with other problems that I wouldn't know about.

I always really think the best thing a parent can do is just to BE with a child, tho without smothering them, giving love and discipline, tho I figure you're already doing that.

My parents never went anywhere without us kids if possible, just because they loved being with their kids, I've felt the same about my kids, even bringing them to "romantic" anniversary dinners out, I just wanted them with me. Tho, when they become teenagers, they increasingly need time away from parents, as they get more independent and responsible (we hope).

There was a time, about the same grade as your junior, 8th or 9th, when my son wasn't doing his homework too much. His teachers worked out some thing where he had to bring home a card to me every day from each of them - they wouldn't give him the card if he hadn't brought in the homework that morning.

Plus, I had some pointed talks with him, in which I did my best to make him try to see himself in the future, how he might want to actually have the ability to choose how he might like to spend his life, something far less likely for those who miss out on education.

Anyway, he eventually got through all that, is now in law school, so I hope for the best.

But I know every kid is different, and if the household is unsettled, the child probably will be, too.

I wish the best for him and for you guys, and figure you'll work things out fine, as junior sounds like a nice kid.

Thanks, all of you.

Jr. is supposed to bring home his "agenda" everyday with signatures from his teachers. But it's not happening and he doesn't care.

He wants to play football for Virginia Tech, but 1) he's not good enough and 2) he doesn't have the grades. I can't get him to see that what he's doing now will affect his future. He doesn't seem to care.

At the same time in all of this, he made us very proud in how he conducted himself at the funeral. And Tuesday night at his band concert he played about six different percussion instruments and did very well. He didn't even get flapped when the mallot broke (twice) on "Carol of the Bells." He just fixed it and went on.

And so, while I've whined about all of this, I've just fielded two calls from Jr.

Some boys in the neighborhood were throwing snowballs at the house and calling us names. I'd just run them off (if they had the b*lls to do it when I was there). But he takes it all personally. I told him to stay inside and get his homework done.

And he just called again and said the dog won't get off the couch and everytime he reaches for his collar, the dog growls. I told him to whack him with the broom. I'll fix that tomorrow when the dog goes back to his crate.

Sorry for the whining. I need a vacation...and pints, lots of pints...