Why do men cheat on their wives?

Ask Dr Gaylen ^

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Agreed, sex is important.... but Sir, you are wrong, it doesn't ALWAYS cool down.... ask MY Marine!

[discostu]

But it doesn't matter what our instinct is. Civilization and society are the art of conquering our baser instincts. Our instincts don't include things like toilets and clothes either, but when we see naked people defacating in public we don't excuse the behavior as "merely following instinct". We have logic and reason and with those we can and regularly do conquer our instincts, but some people want the best of both worlds, they want the comfort of the stable relationship and the fun of the wild oats. If their partner is hep on this that's OK, every relationship makes it's own rules. But if you swore before God and witnesses to forsake all others then you should do it, if you couldn't then you shouldn't have (these are all hypothetical "you"s I don't like the depersonalized "a person").

[Double Tap]

PEOPLE, WE ARE KIDDING!!

About what?

[ValerieUSA]

OK, take a sample of women in their 20s and a sample of women in their 50s and photograph them and show them to a group of men. Which group do you think the men will find more attractive?

We're talking about REALLY shallow men here, aren't we? Men who value women only by appearance in one dimensional photographs. Whe wants one of those men anyway? I'm a three dimensional woman, and I want a three dimensional man.

[Exit148]

Why? Because some men have '-----' for brains.

Actually, I don't believe there's any 'one' answer. Cheating, straying, fooling around, lust, outright fornication for fornication's sake, one-night-stands, etc can be on one side. A true affair of the heart, for many reasons, can be on the other.

[ladyinred]

Why Do ^SOME Men Cheat on Their Wives? Because they're @$$holes who's packages should have been cut out with a rusty knife in the most painful way possible.

Ahh, I like your style CCC!

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

Actually, I'm female. And I'm very happy for you:)

[koba]

The title of the article was "Why do men cheat on their wives?" I tried to give one answer, based on what I have seen.

[Doctor Stochastic]

That's been proposed before. Other surveys say that men have about 10 partners and women about 3 so it still doesn't add up.

[Double Tap]

Agreed.

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Sorry, Mam... lol (I didn't realize.....)

[StolarStorm]

Well things have to be in a holding pattern for now. There isn't anyone else to take care of her. Happiness is important... but I wouldn't really wouldn't be happy either way. Right or wrong, I'd be consumed by internalized guilt if I were to abandon here at this point. I'd feel less guilty cheating than I would putting her through a divorce after her ordeal. Who knows... maybe the extreme shock of her illness will change her for the good. Illness sometimes does that.

[discostu]

I do think it's harder for men to stay faithful than women, but not for reasons of instinct. It's for reasons of society. Western society is more forgiving of philandering men than women, this helps create a belief that even if he gets caught he's still get away with it. Fear of punishment is the last line of defense against immoral behavior (optimally you should never get to that point, but life is so rarely optimal), for men that line is thinner because the expected punishment earns less fear.

But as John Worfin said: character is who you are in the dark. Just gotta rise above it and stay faithful.

[koba]

OK, but at least some percentage of older men want one-dimensional women.

[StolarStorm]

Agreed. But sometimes some of us let our minds rule our instincts to such an extent that we make ourselves miserable.

[strictlyaminorleaguer]

I think women are unrealistic about men, and unless we are ready to be or become the best ever, and can also manage to hold a conversation, and appreciate men for the wonderful creatures they are, then they will be somewhere else with someone else whenever they can be unless they are fat and ugly and lucky to have anyone at all.

This has to be one of the most depressing posts I've read on FR. Speaking as a fellow woman, I am astonished that you believe women have to be perfect to hold a man's attention. Your boyfriend has thrown up a lot of conditions for keeping him, whether you acknowledge that or not. If I were you, I'd be running fast in the opposite direction. You can do much better!

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

In reading all of this, it bothers me that so many people think that people must stay tied to wedding vows even if they dont work after a period. "

That's because wedding vows are serious business. They are not to be taken lightly. People stay tied to them because they honor their commitment. Marriage isn't a casual thing.