Posted on 10/06/2026 11:07:41 AM PDT by V_TWIN
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump approved the execution of Nidal Malik Hasand on Monday, confirming that he would be tied to a bomb and dropped on the country of Iran.
Hasand killed 14 and wounded 32 in a terrorist attack in 2013 when he opened fire at Fort Hood's Soldier Readiness Processing Center. He'd been sitting on death row ever since, until Trump realized he needed something else to drop on Iran.
"Two birds with one stone, I call it," Trump said, seemingly proud of the clever method of execution. "It'll be like Dr. Strangelove. You ever see that movie? Dr. Strangelove. A guy rides a bomb all the way down. He rides it like a horse. But backwards. Like Dudley Do-Right. He rides it all the way down to Japan. But this time it's going to be Iran. A bomb to Iran. It's going to be a big bomb, like you wouldn't believe. Not a nuke, because no one should use nukes, but we're going to tie this guy to a bomb and make him ride it all the way down. A MOAB probably. It means Mother of All Bombs. I didn't know bombs had mothers, but they do. I love mothers. It's going to be something big, believe me."
According to legal expert Wilcox Morton, Esq., a judge could probably have the death sentence overturned on the grounds that tying a man to a bomb and dropping him on Iran constitutes cruel and unusual punishment. However, that's not likely to happen, as many judges are reportedly curious to see how it plays out.
"Aside from the long drop, it's a pretty fast way to go, honestly," said Federal Judge Norman Miller. "I doubt he'll feel a thing."
At publishing time, Hasan's request for an all-female bomber crew had been denied.
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That’s not a bad idea LOL
Why should this be satire?
Make it happen.
.....and wrapped in bacon. Some spoiled stuff, not the real wood smoked stuff.
OK, now that's funny right there. Personally I'd consult with Kim Il about the execution by antiaircraft cannon thing. You don't want to leave that one to beginners.
Approve.
“At publishing time, Hasan’s request for an all-female bomber crew had been denied”
In the world of satire that’s called a “twofer”. 😁
It would totally screw up the accuracy of the bomb, but otherwise, not a bad idea.
Vaporized ... no need for a coffin or body bag to be buried in.
After Nidal Hasan is executed, hopefully Hasan Akbar will be next.
Do we set the fuse for air-burst or simple contact?
That’s so cruel!
Not strapping Hasan on a bomb and dropping him on Iran, but teasing us with that marvelous idea.
lmao...
Man the left would have a Cow if this really happened!! Strap a GoPro Wand 3 feet away from him to get facial expressions the whole tip!!
Sounds like a plan.
Just don’t let Tennessee Prison officials have anything to do it — they’d screw up tieing him to the bomb.
My first image was Major Kong whippin’ and spurrin’ on his way down.
Why does the song “Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran” come to mind?
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