Posted on 07/17/2026 5:27:38 AM PDT by Twotone
At long last, the wait is over — President Joe Biden has written a memoir about his time in the White House. The book, titled Promise Me, America, will be released this fall following the November midterm elections, but that wasn't the only title that was pitched.
Here is an exclusive list of potential titles that were rejected:
1. If You Don't Read This, You Ain't Black: Close, but the marketing team wanted to cast a wider net.
2. My Time As, You Know, The Thing: All the trademark clarity of his presidency in one phrase.
3. Two Scoops of Mint Chocolate Chip, Waffle Cone, Please: Always ice cream with this guy.
4. Look, Fat: This option was ultimately discarded to avoid body shaming any potential readers.
5. The Last of the Dog-Faced Pony Soldiers: A tantalizing tease of the treasures found in the book.
6. My Life as a Chinese Asset: A little too raw and real-world.
7. Tales from a Truck Driving Lifeguard: This title was tossed after the fictional portion of the book was removed.
8. How We Finally Beat Medicare: An inspiring rallying cry everyone still hasn't figured out.
9. If I Did It: His "hypothetical" confession to killing America, right there in black and white.
10. Truinnernationalundrepressure: Surprisingly, this is more legible than the rest of the memoir.
“How I Defeated Corn Pop or Sea Bass or Whatever His Name Was”
“Father of the Smartest Man I Know”
“HOW SNIFFING KIDS HELPED ME”
“HOW MUCH FUNDING IS NEEDED TO STEAL A US ELECTION?”
Subtitled: Biden’s True Life Advice to Eager Candidates
“Adventures in Cycling and Showering”
Once a Perv Always a Perv
No NYPD investigation after e-bike crash leaves woman in coma
Well, the UK's Deep State knows how that works, eh?
Sorry, Two-tone. Wrong thread.
-PJ
Jill’s rejected memoir title:
“We were married to other people but got it on anyway.”
Joe and Jill
Went Up The Hill
Both with a buck
And a quarter
When they came down
Jill had two-fifty!
My Earbud cheats Caused Me to Lose the Debate to Trump.
lol
C’mon Maaan!
How about “My Autopen and I” - the autopen deserves all the credit here for writing the “autobiography.”
Joe Biden isn’t capable of putting a single sentence together.
“10. Truinnernationalundrepressure: Surprisingly, this is more legible than the rest of the memoir.” How about: “How to ride a bicycle without tipping over”.
C’mon man. Where’s my ice cream?
Is this the book that got him in trouble because he told his ghostwriter he had classified information in the garage? (or something like that).
Regards,
“Where am I and what the h*ll is going on here?”
“The most extensive voter fraud organization in American History.”
“My parents were coal minors”
“Rub my leg hairs”
“Cornpop”
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