Posted on 05/14/2026 12:02:55 AM PDT by Red Badger
These monkeys don’t steal randomly. They target what humans value most.
The scam works because the monkeys learned the difference between junk an an iPhone.
At Uluwatu Temple, even the monkeys understand supply, demand, and ransom.
BRIEFING
Jett here. Tourists show up at a sacred temple in Bali expecting ocean views, ancient stone, and maybe a spiritual moment, and instead they get shaken down by a team of monkeys with the cold tactical mind of a legit street hustler. These aren’t random little gremlins grabbing whatever shiny thing they see. At Uluwatu Temple, the long-tailed macaques have figured out that your water bottle is worthless, but your iPhone is what makes you panic. Let’s get into it.
That’s what makes this story kinda creepy. Because these monkeys understand leverage. They don’t just steal because they’re bored. They target the items humans react to the most, hold onto them, and wait for someone to offer food in exchange. A hair tie will get ignored. A sandal might get a small snack. But glasses, wallets, cameras, and phones can turn into a full-blown negotiation process.
And yes, the temple apparently had to create the closest thing nature has ever produced to a hostage negotiator for sunglasses and cell phones.
There’s now an actual “monkey negotiator” role, which is as crazy as it sounds. This person’s job is to step in like a hostage specialist, work out the ransom, offer the right food, and negotiate the safe release of whatever the monkey just stole.
But I totally love this. To me, this is the best story I've stumbled across in a long time. I wanna know, how does a monkey know a phone is worth more than a bottle of water? The way I see it is this: water is life. Water matters more than almost anything on earth. Yet, in this bizarre little situation, the monkeys figured out that humans will fight harder for the expensive, fragile, status-loaded object in their pocket than the plastic bottle filled with "life" in their hand.
That means they aren’t just stealing objects. They’re reading the room and working it, as well.
These little guys are watching what humans protect, what humans chase, what humans will bargain for, and what humans will overpay to get back. These furry little criminals are running a jungle-side market so deep and sophisticated that scientists are basically sitting there with their jaws on the floor.
The monkeys at Uluwatu have built a working system: steal the thing, hold the thing, wait for the human panic, then trade the thing back for food.
Genius.
A stolen sandal might cost you a cracker and a piece of fruit. But try offering fruit for a stolen iPhone, and you're not getting it back. They know a premium item demands premium food.
I am most fascinated by the science behind all of this. Researchers don’t think it's chaos. They call it a sequence, almost like a little criminal ring. They rob, hold, and exchange. It's not mischief. It's a monkey-run economy, and it's really fascinating.
SOURCE
Robbing and bartering is a behavioral pattern in which free-ranging nonhuman primates spontaneously steal an object from a human (usually tourists), and then hold onto that object until that or another human solicits an exchange by offering food1–3. This behavior has been systematically studied in the Uluwatu long-tailed macaque (Macaca fascicularis) population in Bali, Indonesia1,2,4, but also reported in other populations in Bali5–7: 141. Outside of Bali, object stealing (including sometimes, but not always, subsequent exchange for food) has been observed in rhesus macaques (Macaca mulatta)8,9 and Tibetan macaques (Macaca thibetanus)10, and is anecdotally reported for macaque populations across South and Southeast Asia.
Spontaneous robbing and bartering by the long-tailed macaques at the Uluwatu temple in Bali, Indonesia combines multiple behaviors into a single behavioral sequence. Previous reports on robbing and bartering in this population establish two parts to the behavior, the robbery and the exchange, and model it primarily as an economic activity1,2,4. We suggest this behavior also involves an important third phase in the sequence: the period of item possession between the robbery and the exchange. Therefore, we characterize the robbing and bartering sequence as follows: (1) robbing the item; (2) holding and/or manipulating the item before the potential exchange; and (3) exchanging the item.
The robbing and bartering sequence in the Uluwatu long-tailed macaque population may be a behavioral tradition (i.e., cultural behavior)11, given evidence of intergroup variation in robbing and bartering patterns1,2, that individuals rob more frequently after observing a demonstrator robbing4, and evidence for persistence across generations1,4 and socially mediated, age-based learning2. Groups spending more time in tourist zones, close to humans, and consuming provisioned food were found to be more likely to rob items than groups that did not1. Despite these differences in robbery occurrence, there were no observed differences in robbing or bartering success rates between groups1.
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> Squirrels, too. Great problem solvers.
Yep, for sure. I watch them trying to figure out how to overcome the baffles on my bird feeders. They succeed occasionally by climbing up in a nearby bush and making a flying leap to the suet hanger, and from there to the regular feeders. They're so industrious and persistent that I actually don't mind if they grab a meal now and then. Fun to watch!
Quality learing only, pleae!
Let me guess.
The monkeys tell the humans thet the bonobos will have a nuclear weapon in two weeks...
It’s possible the cat figured out you are not a cat person and that it needed to be sweet tempered and well behaved to continue living with a human.
It’s possible you are similar to your neighbor and the cat had already figured out how it needed to behave.
Perhaps. It took a year and a half though of feeding in the yard before the cat let me pet him. And it was another six months before the cat came into the house, briefly. Two years later, he is now entirely an indoor cat. In sum, if anything, it was a year of gentle and kind treatment of the cat that made me a cat person.
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