Posted on 05/14/2026 12:02:55 AM PDT by Red Badger
These monkeys don’t steal randomly. They target what humans value most.
The scam works because the monkeys learned the difference between junk an an iPhone.
At Uluwatu Temple, even the monkeys understand supply, demand, and ransom.
BRIEFING
Jett here. Tourists show up at a sacred temple in Bali expecting ocean views, ancient stone, and maybe a spiritual moment, and instead they get shaken down by a team of monkeys with the cold tactical mind of a legit street hustler. These aren’t random little gremlins grabbing whatever shiny thing they see. At Uluwatu Temple, the long-tailed macaques have figured out that your water bottle is worthless, but your iPhone is what makes you panic. Let’s get into it.
That’s what makes this story kinda creepy. Because these monkeys understand leverage. They don’t just steal because they’re bored. They target the items humans react to the most, hold onto them, and wait for someone to offer food in exchange. A hair tie will get ignored. A sandal might get a small snack. But glasses, wallets, cameras, and phones can turn into a full-blown negotiation process.
And yes, the temple apparently had to create the closest thing nature has ever produced to a hostage negotiator for sunglasses and cell phones.
There’s now an actual “monkey negotiator” role, which is as crazy as it sounds. This person’s job is to step in like a hostage specialist, work out the ransom, offer the right food, and negotiate the safe release of whatever the monkey just stole.
But I totally love this. To me, this is the best story I've stumbled across in a long time. I wanna know, how does a monkey know a phone is worth more than a bottle of water? The way I see it is this: water is life. Water matters more than almost anything on earth. Yet, in this bizarre little situation, the monkeys figured out that humans will fight harder for the expensive, fragile, status-loaded object in their pocket than the plastic bottle filled with "life" in their hand.
That means they aren’t just stealing objects. They’re reading the room and working it, as well.
These little guys are watching what humans protect, what humans chase, what humans will bargain for, and what humans will overpay to get back. These furry little criminals are running a jungle-side market so deep and sophisticated that scientists are basically sitting there with their jaws on the floor.
The monkeys at Uluwatu have built a working system: steal the thing, hold the thing, wait for the human panic, then trade the thing back for food.
Genius.
A stolen sandal might cost you a cracker and a piece of fruit. But try offering fruit for a stolen iPhone, and you're not getting it back. They know a premium item demands premium food.
I am most fascinated by the science behind all of this. Researchers don’t think it's chaos. They call it a sequence, almost like a little criminal ring. They rob, hold, and exchange. It's not mischief. It's a monkey-run economy, and it's really fascinating.
SOURCE
Robbing and bartering is a behavioral pattern in which free-ranging nonhuman primates spontaneously steal an object from a human (usually tourists), and then hold onto that object until that or another human solicits an exchange by offering food1–3. This behavior has been systematically studied in the Uluwatu long-tailed macaque (Macaca fascicularis) population in Bali, Indonesia1,2,4, but also reported in other populations in Bali5–7: 141. Outside of Bali, object stealing (including sometimes, but not always, subsequent exchange for food) has been observed in rhesus macaques (Macaca mulatta)8,9 and Tibetan macaques (Macaca thibetanus)10, and is anecdotally reported for macaque populations across South and Southeast Asia.
Spontaneous robbing and bartering by the long-tailed macaques at the Uluwatu temple in Bali, Indonesia combines multiple behaviors into a single behavioral sequence. Previous reports on robbing and bartering in this population establish two parts to the behavior, the robbery and the exchange, and model it primarily as an economic activity1,2,4. We suggest this behavior also involves an important third phase in the sequence: the period of item possession between the robbery and the exchange. Therefore, we characterize the robbing and bartering sequence as follows: (1) robbing the item; (2) holding and/or manipulating the item before the potential exchange; and (3) exchanging the item.
The robbing and bartering sequence in the Uluwatu long-tailed macaque population may be a behavioral tradition (i.e., cultural behavior)11, given evidence of intergroup variation in robbing and bartering patterns1,2, that individuals rob more frequently after observing a demonstrator robbing4, and evidence for persistence across generations1,4 and socially mediated, age-based learning2. Groups spending more time in tourist zones, close to humans, and consuming provisioned food were found to be more likely to rob items than groups that did not1. Despite these differences in robbery occurrence, there were no observed differences in robbing or bartering success rates between groups1.
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Shock the monkey, hey, hey. Shock the monkey. Once the monkey gets hurt, monkey.
I had a monkey and traded it for a tank of gas one night about 1969 0r 70, I still chuckle at what a great relief it was and often wonder if that guy still hates me for suckering him like that.
Or the monkeys have been trained what to steal and the negotiators are part of the scam.
And that, Johnny, is how democrats get elected.
Being in Minnesota, I immediately recognized the scam.
We have a lesser form of primate doing the same thing.
In a larger sense, we look to animals for a fuller understanding of and expression of our humanity. The cat that I took in, for example, originally belonged to a neighbor who died suddenly. Caring for his otherwise homeless cat is a way of remembering and respecting our friendship. And, although I am not a cat person, the cat is genuinely sweet tempered and well behaved.
ISWYDT!
I despise those nasty things. The correction here is to kill as many as possible.
—————————
Correction is not a point in a Blue area/city/state. It is blame the victim, the criminal is disadvantaged and oppressed. Law enforcement says it is your own fault for entering a known crime area. Social services will advise one on how to appease the criminal and reassure the victim that since they were not killed, all is good. Local politicians will say it is not that bad and everyone should come back to spend their tourist money.
The connection of the tourist and the monkeys relates to Times Square in NYC, French Quarter in New Orleans , the Strip in Las Vegas and any other Blue area. Spend your money then go back home with a story of being ripped off, robbed, maybe physically harmed and risked death for the experience.
*Let’s do this again next year.
I hate monkeys. My “negotiation” technique with the little monsters would likely get me arrested and imprisoned.
It's a monkey-run economy, and it's really fascinating
The monkeys are learing at us!
Like Corbin Dallas in The Fifth Element.
“Anyone else wanna negotiate?”
12 gauge.
“Most Sophisticated Scheme Ever”
...EVER, I tell ya!
I hate clickbait headlines.
By booby trapping an explosive IPhone that maims/injures/frightens them, this could be stopped.
Well, as the old saying goes, live and lear.
“The author of this article is an idiot....”
You are absolutely right. It’s conditioning and a learned response.
Obviously written by someone too selfish to have shared their lives with dogs — and spotted this within minutes.
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