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Posted on 04/17/2026 12:31:42 PM PDT by V_TWIN
Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced his plan to open a $30 million city-run grocery store in the heart of New York City. While that may seem like a lot of money, this isn't your average Kroger.
Take a look at the following list of amazing features the new taxpayer-funded grocery store will have:
1. Choice of two different brands of products: Have your pick between carrots or potatoes.
2. A mandatory 3-hour wait time at the register to ensure fairness across all lines: Finally, justice for all.
3. All the cashiers will be ex-cons out on work release: Checkout has never been more exciting.
4. Claw at the exit that turns you upside-down and shakes loose change out: Every penny counts.
5. Produce section that's just a bunch of dirt for you to grow your own veggies: You'll have fresh veggies in just six months — if the hobos don't get to them first.
6. Line where you can hang out for several hours and get a free loaf of bread: It'll be a throwback to a bygone era.
7. Frozen food aisle occasionally thawed to promote climate awareness: Finally, a grocery store that's conscious of its carbon footprint.
8. Groceries in your cart will be intermittently redistributed to other people's carts: No one should ever have more than someone else.
I. The cleanest empty shelves anywhere in the city: Truly a cut above the rest.
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There must be a lot of Russian immigrants in New York City who can give them pointers on how to recreate the authentic Soviet experience for shoppers.
I like number 7.
Mamdani’s free grocery stores will be like Publix, but without the product quality, cleanliness, or food.
THE BEE NEVER FAILS......
1 and 5 are my faves!
cart-jackers stealin your free foods?
I know it’s Babylon Bee but some of these don’t sounds like jokes.
A neighbor in Buffalo had a relative visit from Latvia in the late 80's. She walked into a Wegman's, the huge produce section first. She stared for a minute, and asked, "Is it like this every day?"
Moscow on the Hudson. 😏
10. A hijab stand near the door for those who forgot to bring their own.
11. Lots of turkey bacon options because pork isn’t allowed.
12. An opium den in the back.
13. Neon signs stating “❤ Temporary Marriages! ❤” in English and Arabic in front of a door near the back, with a waiting bench for your permanent wives.
Boris Yeltsin had a similar experience when he visited a Randalls grocery store near Houston, TX in 1989.
While on the way to the airport, Yeltsin decided to take an unannounced visit to a grocery store. Yeltsin said that he wanted to visit a typical store in order to see what the average American shopping experience was like. The group decided to visit Randalls.
During his visit, Yeltsin inspected the product selection in the store and tried free samples of cheese and produce. According to the manager on duty at the time, Yeltsin was very interested in the frozen food section, and a picture of Yeltsin looking at a selection of Pudding Pops was widely republished. He was astonished by the selection available in the store, which he was told offered about 30,000 unique products, and expressed disbelief that such a store was available to residents outside of major urban areas like New York City.
Following the grocery store visit, Yeltsin and his entourage flew to Miami, their final location before returning to the Soviet Union. During the flight, Yeltsin was in a state of shock regarding the grocery store and remained speechless for a long time.
Yeltsin commented that if people in the Soviet Union were aware of the quality of the average American grocery store, "there would be a revolution", further saying that "Even the Politburo doesn't have this choice. Not even Mr. Gorbachev."
He later wrote in his autobiography, "When I saw those shelves crammed with hundreds, thousands of cans, cartons and goods of every possible sort, for the first time I felt quite frankly sick with despair for the Soviet people. That such a potentially super-rich country as ours has been brought to a state of such poverty! It is terrible to think of it."
Viktor Belenko, the MiG-25 pilot who defected to the west in 1976 had his eyes opened.
Belenko’s first stop was an aircraft carrier, where things looked suspicious to him. At dinner, the sailors were allowed to serve themselves as much as they wanted. That didn’t make any sense. To test the system, after filling his plate, he returned to the line and filled another plate. No one paid any attention to him, and now he had two meals in front of him.
Well, sure, maybe the military fed their men well… but surely all the other citizens were starving, as he’d been told was inevitable without communism? His first visit to a supermarket sought to answer that question. He was surprised by all the food but even more surprised by how the place was (from his perspective) basically empty of people. Why wasn’t the place crowded, like any Soviet store would when they had goods in stock? Maybe people couldn’t afford any of this food?
"Thirty or forty different varieties; milk, butter, eggs, more than he had ever seen in any one place; the meat counter, at least twenty meters long, with virtually every kind of meat in the world-wrapped so you could take it in your hand, examine, and choose or not; labeled and graded as to quality. A date stamped on the package to warn when it would begin to spoil!..."
“…Never had Belenko been in a closed market selling meat or produce that did not smell of spoilage, of unwashed bins and counters, of decaying, unswept remnants of food. Never had he been in a market offering anything desirable that was not crowded inside, with lines waiting outside. Always he had been told that the masses of exploited [U.S. citizens] lived in the shadow of hunger and that pockets of near starvation were widespread, and he had seen photographs that seemed to demonstrate that.”
“If this were a real store, a woman in less than an hour could buy enough food in just this one place to feed a whole family for two weeks. But where are the people, the crowds, the lines? Ah, that proves it. This is not a real store, The people can't afford it. If they could, everybody would be here. It's a showplace of the Dark Forces. But what do they do with all the meat, fruit and vegetables, milk, and everything else that they can't keep here all the time? They must take it away for themselves every few nights and replace it.”
Is food one of them?
My daughter had the same experience with a Russian exchange student. When she walked into her first Walmart she was stunned!
Shoplifters get green stamps
I have a feeling anything pork will not be allowed, for real.
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