Posted on 10/06/2025 2:41:37 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the shutdown of the federal government continues, feral government workers have begun to roam American streets in packs.
According to inhabitants of the D.C. area, government workers first reverted to their natural, bloodthirsty state and started hunting in packs after just a few days of boredom with the shutdown.
"Yeah, we've had to keep our children indoors on account of the rabid IRS agents," said Sam Johnson, a D.C. native. "It gets pretty creepy some nights when the feral feds get together and start howling at the White House together. The neighbors have all agreed to alert one another immediately if we see any suspicious droppings or government forms lying around — these animals can be absolutely vicious."
D.C. inhabitants are being warned not to feed or try to tame any roving government workers to avoid injury or death.
"It's much better to just hunker down in your house and only go out to the grocery stores to get food in the period between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., when they're accustomed to sleep," said another resident.
At publishing time, ecologists had measured a significant drop in the numbers of feral government employees on the streets after a new Netflix series was released.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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Those aren’t federal government workers. They’re white.
LOL, the “professionals” at the Defense Contract Audit Agency are primarily angry POC single mothers who can’t stand white men. This is certainly not an essential agency.
lol.
I’m so glad I retired from my govn job when I did.
I used to say that the whole concept of zombies was unscientific nonsense. Now I say that the zombie apocalypse, involving hordes of mindless, unproductive hordes of violent, irrational creatures who just want to eat your brain, started quite a few years ago and has overrun most university campuses and larger cities.
You have an interesting comment. A couple weeks ago I was at the Capitol building in DC and the majority of secret service people and cops were not white.
We were greeted at Dulles airport by a very long string of little kids cheering us (we were Honor Flight vets), most of them were not white.
What I will say is all of them were very respectful and polite. I chatted with a DC motorcycle cop, and he was quite friendly.
Yes. I just notice, whenever I’m in a large city, virtually all of the public face of the various government agencies is black. It’s weird.
BTW, I moved from seattle to a small town in Kentucky 15 years ago. I have yet to see a black public worker here. Library, cops, licensing, etc. They are all white. Not asian, indian, mexican or black. They are all white.
I love living in a homogenous area. I’m a real enemy of multiculturalism. I like living with people “like me”.
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