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Dallas Cowboys Invoke 25th Amendment On Jerry Jones
The Babylon Bee ^ | Aug. 31 2025 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 09/01/2025 9:34:16 AM PDT by xp38

DALLAS, TX — The Dallas Cowboys organization has officially moved to invoke the 25th amendment in order to remove owner Jerry Jones from power.

Sources within the organization felt that the body of evidence showing Jones to be mentally incapacitated had reached undeniable levels.

"It's about time," said long-suffering Cowboys fan Harold Martindale. "We loved Jerry, but the man is clearly no longer capable of coherent thought. As he has proven in so, so many ways, he is no longer capable of serving as the owner of the Dallas Cowboys. This is precisely why the 25th amendment exists in this great country."

According to witnesses, tensions ran high as Cowboys executives broke the news to Jones. "We'd say this was a tough decision, but honestly that would be a lie," said manager of player operations Joe Stanton. "All the executives, players, cheerleaders, and every single fan on planet earth is in agreement. We're sorry, Jerry. Honestly, that's not true either, we're pretty stoked."

At publishing time, Cowboys executives had admitted that Jones had been incapacitated for twenty years, they'd just been willing to overlook it because of the Jimmy Johnson era.


TOPICS: Humor; Sports
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; cowboys

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Clearly a serious situation.
1 posted on 09/01/2025 9:34:16 AM PDT by xp38
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To: xp38
He's making a lot of $$$ so he is a good owner.

So far, the fans are still buying tickets to the games.

2 posted on 09/01/2025 9:36:35 AM PDT by MinorityRepublican
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To: xp38

https://www.lerctr.org/~transit/healy/cowboys.wav


3 posted on 09/01/2025 9:38:43 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is opinion or satire. Or both.)
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To: xp38

The Cowboys are not a republic, they are a monarchy so you will have to summon the Estates General like in 1789 France.


4 posted on 09/01/2025 9:44:18 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (I refuse to call the left "progressive" because I do not see slavery to the government as progress.)
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To: xp38

Thing is the Packers overpaid for Parsons, he’s not that good.


5 posted on 09/01/2025 9:45:13 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: MinorityRepublican

Agreed.

The PT Barnum argument applies.

Jerry understands that theater is where the big bucks are and any athletic competition is just a side show.


6 posted on 09/01/2025 9:45:27 AM PDT by Biblebelter
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To: xp38; SunkenCiv; SaveFerris; gundog
STEINBRENNER: Are you seeing a psychiatrist? Bcause I got a flash for you young man, you're non compos mentis! You got some bats in the belfry!


7 posted on 09/01/2025 9:52:20 AM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: Larry Lucido

Why would George steal from the Yankees


8 posted on 09/01/2025 9:55:59 AM PDT by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you. )
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To: xp38

“Sir, the fans are revolting!”


9 posted on 09/01/2025 9:56:21 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: MinorityRepublican

Wish he had a GM all these years, but as a bidness man, $65,000,000 he paid for the Cowboys, now worth $9 billion one cannot argue. Saw also NFL betting is expecting $30 billion this year.


10 posted on 09/01/2025 9:59:28 AM PDT by Jolla
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To: xp38

Aahhh...since we’re on the topic of the Dallas Cowboys, I thought I’d add my two cents.

I never thought they were “America’s Team!”

I don’ think any team was/is.

But then, I’m an Oakland Raiders fan.


11 posted on 09/01/2025 10:00:37 AM PDT by old school
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To: Billthedrill

12 posted on 09/01/2025 10:02:03 AM PDT by xp38
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To: xp38

Almost got stung by The Bee,


13 posted on 09/01/2025 10:06:39 AM PDT by Zathras
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To: Larry Lucido

Non compos mentis, IOW, Joe Biden. 😊


14 posted on 09/01/2025 10:07:32 AM PDT by SunkenCiv (NeverTrumpin' -- it's not just for DNC shills anymore -- oh, wait, yeah it is.)
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To: xp38

Too bad they didn’t do that with Biden. Kamala would have been easy to kick out.


15 posted on 09/01/2025 10:16:25 AM PDT by DownInFlames (P)
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To: xp38

Cardinals fans would want to add Bill DeWitt in that petition.


16 posted on 09/01/2025 10:29:44 AM PDT by waredbird (Rrect. )
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To: old school
" I’m an Oakland Raiders fan."

Have you been to any games at Allegiant Stadium?
That place is a palace compared to any stadium in CA...

Here in the Washington DMV, the stadiums are garbage heaps...

17 posted on 09/01/2025 10:49:28 AM PDT by SuperLuminal (Where is rabble-rising Sam Adams now that we need him? Is his name Trump, now?)
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To: xp38

He has cancer. Fighting for quite a while. Vociferous Cowboy fans gotta’ give the guy a break.....yeah,I know....kind of a jerk....cancer surgeries, treatments have a way of messin’ ya up...


18 posted on 09/01/2025 10:54:46 AM PDT by Getready (Wisdom is more valuable than gold and harder to find. )
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To: old school

I was an Oakland Raider fan growing up as well. Still remember the Ken Stabler - Dave Casper “Holy Roller” play. I miss listening to Bill King.


19 posted on 09/01/2025 10:55:00 AM PDT by DFG
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To: MinorityRepublican

He’s making a lot of $$$ so he is a good owner.


All those whores won’t pay themselves.


20 posted on 09/01/2025 10:55:40 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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