Posted on 05/21/2025 6:35:26 PM PDT by DoodleBob
‘Tis the season for weddings, and chances are the next several weeks will find many of us sitting in a lovely venue, decked in our best, watching a man and a woman pledge themselves to one another for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health.
The good news is that more of these sweet couples may remain true to their vows. Statistics from the Census Bureau show that U.S. divorce rates have dropped from 10.0 in 2008 to 7.0 in 2022. Although that drop could be caused by other factors (such as increased cohabitation rates), it is an encouraging statistic.
What’s not encouraging, however, is the statistic showing which partner tends to initiate divorce. Data shows that roughly 70% of divorces are now initiated by women. Each of us can likely affirm this number just from our own circle of friends – indeed, most of the divorces I’ve known about in the last decade were more prone to be instigated by the wife than the husband.
That’s tragic, particularly since many of these divorces seem to stem from boredom or dissatisfaction with the partner rather than truly dangerous situations where the wife must leave the marriage for safety’s sake. What’s even more tragic is that these same women, in instigating divorce, often seem to ignore the effects their choice will have on their offspring.
Just how negative the effects of divorce are on children is shown in a new study from the National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER). The data presented only serves to underscore that divorce is a major blow to the stability of a child’s life … and the ripples of that instability will only spread as that child grows. Here are just a few of those negative effects:
These are points of fact, scientifically presented by a leading research organization. Yet sadly, many seem to turn a blind eye to them, convincing themselves and others that their children will be far better off with divorced parents. Evidence of this tendency is seen in an X post highlighting the study where many commenters were left seemingly justifying divorce and trying to cast shade on the study’s results.
This reaction fits perfectly with what G. K. Chesterton said. “The definition of divorce, which concerns us here, is that it is the attempt to give respectability, and not liberty,” Chesterton wrote in “The Superstition of Divorce.”
Many women (and men, too) convince themselves that they will be free — free to live, laugh, and love as they want — if they only divorce their spouse and start fresh. But as the statistics above show, bondage, not liberty, is pretty much the assured outcome of divorce for both parents and especially children. And I would argue that this bondage extends beyond children to the nation as a whole.
Why is this?
“Marriage makes a small state within the state, which resists all such regimentation,” Chesterton writes.
That bond breaks all other bonds; that law is found stronger than all later and lesser laws. They desire the democracy to be sexually fluid, because the making of small nuclei is like the making of small nations. Like small nations, they are a nuisance to the mind of imperial scope. In short, what they fear, in the most literal sense, is home rule.
In essence, Chesterton is saying the family is a small nation, and the more we have of these tiny nations functioning properly and refusing to break apart, the more we as a large nation are able to resist tyranny, government overreach, and other breaches of our freedom.
It’s highly unpopular to question divorce these days simply because it’s an issue that affects many. None of us want to admit that our personal actions may have led to deleterious bondage being placed on many others. But if we want to push back on the tyranny and government overreach that has persisted in recent years, do we need to recognize that seemingly small, individual decisions – such as the decision to pursue divorce freely and fully – may be playing a larger part in the gradual loss of freedom the nation as a whole is experiencing?
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The republication of this article is made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal.
Boy is that the truth.
If chivalry is dead then it’s for a damned good reason.
God may yet bless you, if you start by loving a man who usually doesn't deserve it.
Men will sacrifice their happiness for their family. Women will sacrifice the family for their happiness.
I’ve seen this up close - my son was married, two young children, no money issues, no abuse, no addictions, ..., but she up and decided she wanted someone else out of nowhere...family be damned.
Our culture tells women over and over, “you’re special”, “you deserve it”, “you deserve what makes you happy”, as though it’s the ONLY thing that matters. A wedding and vows are nothing but a ‘romantic evening’ to brag about on Snapchat. Narcissism extreme. As any young woman, “would you divorce if you felt it might make you happy?”...guess what the universal answer is, with few exceptions. They don’t mean it when they vow ‘until death’.
It is epidemic.
What kind of a fool do you take men to be?
That they would enter into a civil contract with the State wherein the other party is rewarded with the man’s assets and a salary for breaking the contract?
Only absolute fools enter into such a contract with the State.
The woman is merely the State’s representative and beneficiary of the contract.
” At age 64, now I am ready. I’m looking for a Catholic man...”
And he’s looking for a young virgin.
You are delusional
All-Risk, no reward
The man.
At least you had your standards, right?
From a more gutteral perspective, it sounds like you’ve had your fun and now you’re ready to settle down so now you’re standing at a finish line ready to fk a winner who values your presence over your participation.
Every couple has a pre-nup. Its just that mostly it is the one provided by the State where the woman gets half the assets plus the children plus an allowance.
Yep, and a majority that don't involve serial infidelity, physical abuse, substance abuse, etc regret their divorce. The biggest problem is that a woman will leave a man who has 80% of what she needs to chase the 20% she wants.
Women love shopping for a reason
Truth.
“Gutteral”???
It may seem like that to men who pay no attention at all and expect everything to happen favorably for him with no communication, sacrifice or compromise, no matter how much the woman is communicating, sacrificing or attempting to achieve compromise. It comes as a complete shock to such a man.
His response is often, "She's crazy." or "It came out of the blue." or "it was just sex. It didn't mean anything. Why is she dumping me and hurting me like this?"
God bless you, BarbM, what a testimony! May the Lord bless and provide for you according to His Will.
He was there to sign the 1965 immigration act, which abolished the quota system.
Cannot agree. At. All.
Well, you just took yourself out of the running, for any woman whatsoever who has Christian values and suffered accordingly. It seems impossible for you to imagine a person who sacrificed for her family of origin. I know several virtuous conservative women who would have made wonderful wives and mothers, but the overwhelming needs of ill family members or other such demands prevented them from finding someone while young. It’s worse than churlish of you to cast filth on a perfect stranger’s last hope after her life of unappreciated service to others.
You sound like a chick with the insults and guilt shaming. Mom taught you well.
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