Posted on 02/22/2025 10:31:11 AM PST by E. Pluribus Unum
HELL — Upon watching Hamas parade the bodies of murdered babies in celebration, Satan came away unsettled by the grotesque show of pure evil.
The Prince of Darkness, who took time away from torturing the damned to watch the procession, reportedly felt sick to his stomach.
"Good gracious, this is horrifying," said Satan, slack-jawed. "It's just so twisted and sick... it's honestly a little much for me. I'm a huge fan of evil and all, but this - I can't even watch."
According to sources, the Father of Lies tried to clear the images out of his head by going off to torment some heretics. "That was just so messed up, it really got to me," said Satan, breaking out a whip made of flame. "Those jerks totally ruined my appetite. Who does that? I need to go smack around a heretic for a bit, cleanse the palate so to speak."
At publishing time, Satan had begun special preparations for the imminent arrival of Hamas and their supporters.
https://babylonbee.com/news/whoa-thats-disturbing-says-satan-watching-hamas-parade
(Excerpt) Read more at x.com ...
You think Hamas is super evil? How many $Billions did the Biden Administration funnel to Hamas through USAID?
Satan needs to come to DC and get re-calibrated on what true evil is.
Bad Theology. Satan does NOT rule Hell. Although he likes to make people think he does. He is a fallen Sereph3um.
Sometimes the Bee is just not that funny.
Not a situation to joke over IMO.☠️
I am a big fan of the Bee too.
He is so proud of his chilren.
Demon Lord Clearly Visible In New York Senate Chamber Applauding Legalization Of Abortion Until Moment Of Birth
Jan 23, 2019 · BabylonBee.com
ALBANY, NY - As the New York State Senate voted to legalize abortion until the moment of birth, remove legal protections for late-term unborn babies, and allow anyone with a pulse to perform abortion procedures, witnesses claim a demon lord was clearly visible in the gallery cheering on the decision.
"This dude in a dark cloak appeared in a flash of fire and started cackling and stuff," said one woman who also applauded the decision. "We thought maybe we should call security, but then we saw he was cheering right along with us, so we decided that he can't be all that bad."
The demon lord solemnly applauded as legislators passed the historic legislation, in which a human being can be murdered even though he or she has fully formed organs and can feel pain.
"We've been pushing for this legislation for a long time," the evil overlord told reporters after the session. "It just goes to show when you believe in your cause, scream loudly about it, ignore basic biological facts, and pray to Satan, you too can get people to cheer on the senseless slaughter of babies."
The demon lord then departed as he had pressing business to attend to at Planned Parenthood's headquarters.
Somebody remove this please. Jim?
That was posted in 2019 without people clutching their pearls. The Bee is an agent of Good against Evil using ridicule and preposterous exaggeration as weapons.
CBS cares.
It does not offend me.
I just don’t care to think about it.
The Devil does not offend, he is the Offense.
These Hamas monsters who kill babies offend me greatly. As they’re enamored with the Death cult of Allah/Satan/Moloch and claim they don’t mind dying I laugh at them where possible.
Because they won’t come visit me and the stuff that disappeared in the boat accident. Must be the “Go Away” mat. Be good!
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