Posted on 11/23/2024 11:07:18 AM PST by Navy Patriot
EL PASO, TX — Americans were assured that the solution to the migrant crisis along the southern U.S. border was close at hand, as soon-to-be Border Czar Tom Homan revealed plans to introduce a family-size trebuchet to speed up the deportation process.
With the plan calling to use the new device to replace the existing single-person trebuchet, Holman said the family-size trebuchet will allow government officials to fling a significantly greater number of human beings back across the border at a time.
"When we talk about throwing them out, we mean throwing them out," Holman told reporters at a press conference announcing the plan. "The Border Patrol has been messing around with these Mickey Mouse single-person trebuchets for long enough. We've got a big problem that requires a big solution, and that solution is a big trebuchet."
Early tests of the device yielded promising results, as a family of four from Honduras was deported via trebuchet and landed several hundred yards into Mexico. "As you can see, this will improve our deportation efforts exponentially," Holman said. "I have one message to people who are in this country illegally: pack your bags. Actually, I have a second message: wear clothing with a decent amount of cushion. Because that trebuchet will really chuck you out there."
At publishing time, the Mexican government announced plans of its own to construct giant piles of tortillas along the border to serve as soft landing spots for incoming families of illegal immigrants arriving via trebuchet.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
lol
I will wave damages if he will let me spend a day pulling the levers.
This is a ripoff and I plan to complain. I gave that suggestion over on patriot.com a week ago.
Trebuchet is a French word. It would need to be referred to as a fundibulo for the benefit of those who will experience its effects.
Perfect!
A fleet of a dozen C-130’s might be more efficient. Chute-deployed cargo containers at 15,000 ft.
The launch isn’t a problem but la ending could be.😄
Just had a Harriz/Walzee thought. Since illegal aliens are now coming from all over the world, THE TERM WETBACK CAN NO LONGER BE CONSIDERED A “RACIAL SLUR.” Screw the liberals. (Which is also not a racial slur.)
I LOVE the Bee!!!!!
“ The launch isn’t a problem but la ending could be.😄”
…no no. Read the article. The Mexican gov will supply a bed of tortillas for a soft landing!!😂
It’s a good solution. It will stop the left from complaining about separating families.
Parachutes are expensive.
catapult
Oh how I needed a laugh right now!! Thank you Bee.
It just might work.
First you need a fake carnival that is free for illegal aliens.
Disguise the trebuchet as a carnival ride.
Zoom, over the fence.
Next.
Actually the Trebuchet is slightly different, combining a catapult and a sling, increasing range, and reducing the Illegal’s walking distance to Mexico City.
Thank you, Bratch!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.