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Nancy Pelosi Recommends Avoiding Pain At The Pump By Becoming A Millionaire Through Insider Trading
Babylon Bee ^ | Jun 22, 2022 · | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/23/2024 8:33:45 PM PDT by george76

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a statement given this week, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said she feels for Americans struggling with prices at the pump and offered a suggestion for how to cope by becoming a millionaire through insider trading.

"If you want to avoid suffering from high gas prices, the solution is simple," she said. "Just get elected to Congress and spend decades trading stocks based on insider information only Congress is allowed to have! Easy!"

"You'll even have money left over for ice cream and to bail your spouse out of prison if they get a DUI!"

Republicans condemned Pelosi's callous statements, contesting that Americans should instead pull themselves up by their bootstraps and work harder, and maybe meet with a few ExxonMobil lobbyists for some extra cash.

"Pelosi's advice is sound, but we've found this approach only works for one out of every 350 million Americans," said local Democratic strategist Yance Parmesan. "For everyone unable to enrich themselves as a career politician, we recommend you just ask Biden for a gas card or buy an electric car. Simple as that!"

At publishing time, gas prices rose even higher, forcing Pelosi to get a second job delivering pizzas.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 06/23/2024 8:33:45 PM PDT by george76
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To: george76

Got me for about 10 seconds again.


2 posted on 06/23/2024 8:36:17 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (The worst thing about censorship is █████ ██ ████ ████ ████ █ ███████ ████. FJB.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum
Got me for about 10 seconds again.

Yep, only for a few seconds.

3 posted on 06/24/2024 12:54:43 AM PDT by Mark17 (Retired USAF air traffic controller. Father of Air Force pilot. Both bitten by the aviation bug)
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To: george76

pubs had a chance to stop this insider trading....they did nothing....


4 posted on 06/24/2024 12:58:40 AM PDT by cherry
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To: george76

bttt


5 posted on 06/24/2024 1:06:35 AM PDT by Pajamajan (Pray for our nation. Pray for President Trump. Never be a slave in a new Socialist America.)
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To: george76










6 posted on 06/24/2024 8:20:17 AM PDT by Albion Wilde (Either ‘the Deep State destroys America, or we destroy the Deep State.’ --Donald Trump)
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