Posted on 06/14/2024 6:50:28 PM PDT by Fester Chugabrew
As women are a considerable, or at least a pretty numerous part of company, and as their sufferages go a great way toward establishing a man's character, in the fashionable part of the world (which is of great importance to the fortune and figure he proposes to make in it), it is necessary to please them.
I will, therefore, upon this subject, let you into certain *arcana* that will be very useful for you to know, but which you must, with the utmost care, conceal; and never seem to know.
Women, then, are only children of a large growth; they have an entertaining tattle, and sometimes wit; but for solid, reasoning good sense, I never in my life knew one that had it, or who reasoned or acted consequentially for four and twenty hours together.
Some little passion or humor always breaks in upon their best resolutions. Their beauty neglected or controverted, their age increased, or their supposed understandings depreciated, instantly kindles their little passions, and overturns any system of consequential conduct, that in their most reasonable moments they might have been capable of forming.
A man of sense only trifles with them, plays with them, humors and flatters them, as he does with a sprightly, forward child; but he neither consults them about, nor trusts them with, serious matters; though he often makes them believe that he does both, which is the thing in the world that they are proud of, for the love mightily to be dabbling in business (which, by the way, they always spoil); and being justly distrustful, that men in general look upon them in a trifling light, they almost adore that man who talks more seriously to them, and who seems to consult and trust them - I say, who seem - for weak men really do, but wise men only seem to do it.
No flattery is either too high or too low for them. They will greedily swallow the highest, and gracefully accept of the lowest; and you may safely flatter any woman, from her understanding to the exquisite taste of her fan.
Women, who are either indisputably beautiful or indisputably ugly, are best flattered upon the score of their understandings; but those who are in a state of mediocrity are best flattered upon their beauty, or at least their graces, for every woman who is not absolutely ugly thinks herself handsome, but not hearing often that she is so, is the more grateful and the more obliged to the few who tell her so; whereas a decided and conscious beauty looks upon every tribute paid to her beauty as only her due, but wants to shine, and to be considered on the side of her understanding; and a woman; who is ugly enough to know that she is so, knows that she has nothing left for it but her understanding, which is consequently (and probably in more senses than pone) her weak side.
But these secrets which you must keep inviolably, if you would not, like Orpheus, be torn to pieces by the whole sex. On the contrary, a man who thinks of living in the great world must be gallant, polite, and attentive to please the women.
They have from the weakness of men, more or less influence in all courts; they absolutely stamp every man's character in the *beau monde,* and make it either current, or cry it down, and stop it in payments.
It is, therefore, absolutely necessary to manage, please, and flatter them; and never to discover the least marks of contempt, which is what they never forgive; but in this they are not singular, for it is the same with men; who will much sooner forgive an injustice than an insult.
>> Any minute now, the little gals of FR will be along with a nasty disposition to criticize our good natured humor at the fairer sex. <<
Not at all! I chuckled at the accuracy of your device with all the buttons 😁
But I laughed out loud at how we of the fairer sex totally bamboozled Lord Chesterfield 🤣🤣🤣
if they didn’t have that thang there’d be bounty on ‘em ...
He wound up sleeping on the couch so much they named it after him.
Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:“Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.
In general, Chesterfield’s writings are utilitarian in nature and thus denude themselves of anything that would generate what constitutes true love. Still, from a practical standpoint his commentary in this case has a delightful ring.
Abigail Adams. If men like John Adams and Thomas Jefferson took her seriously, who is this guy to say that woman with minds like hers do not even exist?
LOL!
I crack up upon reading that. So funny!
That is the epitome of wisdom. I have read and heard it many times.
There are women who fear God, read this, and are driven to condemn themselves because they do not “measure up.”
“Blessed are the poor in spirit.”
I think Chesterfield might admit to exceptions. If not, he should have. The interesting thing here is that, in advising his son, he casts a wide and secret net over the subject. My preference currently is to be above board in speaking with and about not only the ladies, but anyone whom I encounter.
Well, I also think being above board is the way to go. I try to be humble and gentle with it, though. I’ve regretted my words often enough.
Mostly because he did not provide for her (because she did not meet his standards) so she took all the letters Chesterfield had written to her husband, edited them and made them into a book that is still being read.
The son apparently disregarded his father's advice and married a nice intelligent woman who brought him no social advantages what so ever and had a happy life.
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