Posted on 05/14/2024 1:53:05 AM PDT by grundle
Ever since returning to the Chicago area after living for almost a decade in Switzerland, my nice suburban neighbors have scrutinized my parenting. The biggest shock to the community was when I decided that my 7-year-old daughter was responsible enough to walk five blocks to school alone.
"You know, we'd be happy to drive her in the morning," said one neighbor.
I've discovered that these parents are all lovely people and well-meaning, but they are also part of something my husband and I still — even after being "home" for a decade — can't bring ourselves to join: the school car line.
The car line at our neighborhood elementary school is seemingly never-ending. It snakes around the corner of an otherwise beautiful centuries-old brick school. In the cars sit devoted parents who want the best for their children, which also seems to include polluting the air and constipating the streets.
But beyond the environmental consequences of the car line, something feels even more detrimental: American parenting culture.
Opposite the Swiss version, which promotes independence from the time a child can walk, American parenting culture seems to say to the child: I'm in charge of getting you to school — you have no agency. If it's cold, I'll keep you warm. If it's raining, I'll keep you dry. If it's snowing, sure, wear your sneakers, I'll drive you. If you're late for school, it's not your fault, it's mine.
But in Switzerland, where I learned to parent, children as young as five walk or bike to school alone. If there is ice on the streets, they fall and get up again. Parents don't drive children to school or hover at the playground while constantly telling their child to share, to say they're sorry, to be nice.
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I wouldn’t have a problem with groups of kids walking together to school. I walked along for at least 700m, about 8 or nine blocks, from my home to Jean Vanier school when I was young, but I think it’s too dangerous for kids to walk in the city these days.
Crime rates in Chicago versus Switzerland? Maybe fewer of “them” - the ones Boo-Boo keeps asking about - in Switzerland?
Exactly what I thought. If Chicago isn’t ranked the highest in crime in the U.S. it’s way up there. I walked to school when I was 7 years old, it was about a mile. I didn’t have to, I wanted to. It was a great 1/2 hour or so for a couple young kids, along an old railway through the woods and next to a swamp loaded with catfish and frogs. But today, if I lived in the same area and had kids I wouldn’t let them at 7 years old. On the other hand, school buses stop at every house that have kids going to school here in far left N.J. Then the mothers have to gab with the bus driver. Makes getting to work on time a pain.
“my daughter” mentioned 5 times but no mention of any other children, or husband. Modern, and not good as a norm.
At least the teens in this densely populated "lower-income" (American rating) city walk many blocks to middle and high school. Yet the ones with behavioral problems get shuttle service. Now let's talk about lack of attention span, and sense of purpose in life, and of Christian faith, and realize that walking alone is relatively not a real issue.
You are right, it’s not about the walking. It’s about how America is spiritually sick and our gatekeepers are purposely driving America into destruction.
We walked to school. From Kindergarten.
It seemed stupid to drive my kids to school, but we did it. Like everyone.
The back road through the woods we used to walk home from school some sunny days?
Now it’s four lanes through a half-dozen huge condo developments with traffic lights every quarter mile.
Growing up, from 1st grade I walked myself to the next block to the library, and sat down and read and did my homework until my mom picked me up after work
It’s the same in Japan...there’s a point where they almost force the kids to go to the store on their own and get something. A lot of times they have someone trail them just to be safe, but the idea is sorta like forcing the baby bird out of the nest to make them more independent. Helicopter parenting has weakened us in my opinion.
Ask her what she thinks about Trump, then explain that the inability of kids to SAFELY walk to school is the alternative.
Slightly off-topic, “parent” was a noun for HUNDREDS of years.
The verb form of “parent”—in particular, its gerund “parenting”—was first employed in the United States in the late 1950s according to The Merriam-Webster Dictionary. However, Fitzhugh Dodson’s 1970 book, “How to Parent,” is credited with introducing the verb to a wide audience.
Anyone who uses the word “parenting” or “parent” as a verb should be tarred and feathered.
Hard to believe this is true.
Someone in her suburban neighborhood would have called Social Services.
On their first visit, Social Services would strongly imply that this lack of supervision is criminal child neglect.
I noticed this change in American culture over the last 40 years. It is not good. It is partly driven by the media which parents consume, constantly keeping them in fear over extremely rare events and risks.
Husband is mentioned in third paragraph in the present tense.
In Brooklyn I walked about 5 blocks to school starting from kindergarten when I was 5. Everyone did. My friends and I would go out and play in the morning and not come home until dark. Our parents had no idea where we were. We rode our bikes miles from home. It was normal in the late 50s early 60s. My mother told me that women would go to department stores and leave there infants in strollers outside unattended. It’s different world. My kids barely let their kids out of their sight.
But when it comes to parenting culture, I still struggle to accept the lack of freedom we give our children, perhaps because it’s the very thing we say our country stands for.
Just so.
I know we boomers all walked to school or rode the bus independently or whatever. Now we keep our kids from experiencing that independence and the responsibility it builds.
I do acknowledge that places like Chicago are not the same as in the 60’s-80’s but still...we coddle children until they become the selfish whiney and obnoxious little demons we abhor.
“children as young as five walk or bike to school alone. If there is ice on the streets, they fall and get up again.”
You mean, like we did?
Of course, those were better days, and safer. Pervs hadn’t inundated civilization.
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