Posted on 03/28/2024 10:21:39 AM PDT by george76
NEW YORK, NY — Along with the announcement of a program that will provide illegal immigrants with pre-loaded credit cards, New York City Mayor Eric Adams assured migrants that if they run out of money on their prepaid debit cards, they can just rob an American citizen in person.
The announcement came as a relief to the tens of thousands of migrants who were concerned about what may happen if they burned through their taxpayer-funded free money, as they were promised by Mayor Adams that they could conveniently personally rob or burglarize Americans to replenish their funds.
"I don't want the migrants to worry," Mayor Adams said at a press conference. "These prepaid debit cards are not just a one-time payout. Once they spend all of the money loaded on their cards, they can simply resort to assaulting and holding up innocent Americans to get whatever money they need. We're cutting out the middleman and passing the opportunity to rob Americans of their hard-earned money onto you!"
One migrant reached for comment expressed tremendous gratitude. "Gracias, Senior Adams," said Miguel Rodriguez. "I was wondering how I would be able to pay my living expenses when my card loaded with money from Americans runs out, but now I know I can just find the nearest American and take their money myself! Thank you, Joe Biden!"
Mayor Adams's office declined to comment when asked if giving migrants the green light to rob Americans in person might add to the city's already significant spike in crime.
At publishing time, New York's illegal gun dealers announced they would now proudly accept prepaid debit card payments.
Not satire at all.
Things are getting so bad that I believed it, then I saw that it was the Bee.
How much you wanna bet they are going to get another straight-laced “fact-check” from the usual suspects over this?
Yes, that’s right. This isn’t funny, it’s just eye opening, scary and sad
So did I.
So they’ll become IRS agents?
Not funny at all because this is exactly what’s happening!
The Babylon Bee is firing on all cylinders lately. Kudos to them!
When will they tire of making Fools of the Mainstream Media Urinalists and Prog Left Marxists?
Nice there's no cash bail in New York. Mayor Adams feels that makes the thieving easier... and safer.
Despite it being on the Babylon Bee site this is what the no bail or low bail policies produce. Thugs are out looking for new victims long before the police finish the online paperwork about their arrest and release.
Not chasing the looters in flash mob or other planned big trash bag shoplifting results....
“Shoplifting has become one of the most prevalent crimes in the U.S., averaging about 550,000 incidents per day resulting in more than $13 billion worth of goods being stolen from retailers each year. That is more than $35 million in losses per day.” 2023. Worse this year.
White Americans
Not sure it counts as satire if it’s literally true.
As if they needed to be told
time to send them more bus loads Abbott
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