Planet Fitness Adds 'Bigot Alarm' To Shame Women Who Don't Want Men In Their Locker Room

The Babylon Bee ^ | Mar 21, 2024

[conservative98]

HAMPTON, NH — Popular gym franchise Planet Fitness has announced plans to add a "Bigot Alarm" at all locations nationwide to alert members whenever there is a horrible transphobic woman who doesn't want men watching her change in the women's locker room.

The addition, which will function similarly to the existing "Lunk Alarm," will notify the entire gym whenever someone comes across a woman who is uncomfortable with the idea of having men walking around naked and shaving their body hair in the locker room reserved for women.

"Finally, a way to alert the entire gym that there's a hateful bigot present!" said a Planet Fitness spokesman. "Gone are the days when men would have to endure horrified looks and frightened screams from women when they entered the ladies' locker room. Now, just sound the ‘Bigot Alarm' and let everyone else know that there's a woman who has the audacity to express disapproval of men walking around naked in the ladies' room."

"Take that, bigots! Hate has no home here!"

Bob, a local biological male who identifies as female, was relieved by the news. "It's about time!" he said. "I've put up with enough unpleasant treatment from women who didn't want me parading around in the women's locker room and [unprintable], so it's great news to hear that I'll be able to sound the ‘Bigot Alarm' and give those hateful women what they deserve."

[radu]

I hope no one who works for Planet Fitness reads the Bee. They’ll see this and say, “Hey, what a great idea!”

[metmom]

The Bee almost got me this time.

[Purpleperson]

Planet fitness will be the next go woke go broke business
Women will go elsewhere
Men who go to gym to watch women will follow them

[sauropod]

Got me again. Thought this was real.

[Deplorable American1776]

The Bee got me...I thought it was something that the Planet Fitness MISMANAGEMENT team created.

[GOPJ]

I fell for it...

[redfreedom]

Today what the Bee comes up with is made-up humor. Tomorrow it becomes a sad fact where it actually happens.

[silent_jonny]

It did get me, lol.

I read the first two paragraphs and believed every word.

[P8riot]

Combine all locker rooms

Rescind all anti-nudity laws

There, fixed it.

[Bookshelf]

As of 2019, most of the Planet Fitness locations were independently owned franchises, with only about 80 being corporate owned.

[Mermaid Girl]

To quote Wayne’s World — “Fiiiiiished in!”

I totally believed this... and then realized it was the Bee.

I will say that we’ve been very happy at LA Fitness, and they’re very serious about locker room privacy and safety.

Of course, I worked for many years at the RDV Sportsplex in Maitland FL. That was a dream gym until the original owner, AmWay founder Rich DeVos died.

[chopperk]

Planet Fitness seems to be managed by homo pedos.

[SamAdams76]

In December of 1981, I accidently walked into a women's room at the San Diego airport. I remember the date only because I was in the Marine Corps (stationed at Camp Pendleton) at the time and was going home for Christmas leave.

So I was a little distracted and looking forward to getting home for the holidays. So not really paying attention to the universal figure with a dress symbol on the door as seen further below. I just needed to empty my bladder before getting on a five hour cross country flight and I was in a bit of a hurry to get it done and get over to my gate.

It wasn't like in the movies, where the women reflexively cover their crotch area with their hands and scream. They just looked at me curiously and not without a little amusement as I looked to see where the urinals were (there were none).

I was already deep into the women's room before I realized my mistake. My face turned red and I pivoted and walked rather quickly out of there. There was dead silence, only the sound of my shoes beating a hasty retreat across the tiled floor.

I was not arrested, though I thought I could've been. Had I been, I'd have missed my flight to Boston and would have had trouble explaining the situation to my family and the brass back at Camp Pendleton. My military career would have gone down the toilet.

Anyway, a story just to illustrate how different the times were. This could have been a rather serious matter.

[House Atreides]

“ In December of 1981, I accidently walked into a women’s room at the San Diego airport…”
****************************************************************

I did that before. It took only a split second to recognize my mistake (lack of urinals and presence of a sofa) and I did an immediate about face to exit. I was just glad that there were no women in it to be startled by me.

[Socon-Econ]

The Bee stung me again.

[moovova]

Glad to give clicks to The Bee.

[7thson]

I had a Planet Fitness membership until yesterday. Went in and explained to the brain-dead male behind the main desk why. I am thinking of copying excerpts from the original article to create a one sheet pamphlet, with a question at the bottom asking if women approve of what Planet Fitness did in Alaska. Then challenging women to take a stand against Planet Fitness and resigning their membership. Hand them out to women entering the local Planet Fitness.

[7thson]

". . . let everyone else know that there's a woman who has the audacity to express disapproval of men walking around naked in the ladies' room."

This was the line that made me realize it was the Bee.

[gitmo]

They also added a Perv Alarm to alert the pervs that a girl is alone in the women’s locker room.