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I hope I honored my late wife's memory properly

Posted on 02/04/2024 1:54:47 PM PST by CMS

I recently lost my wife of 16 years to cardiac failure. Her loss has been devastating. We had a fight before we went to bed and our last words were not pleasant. When the alarm went off and I rolled over and saw her laying there eyes open and motionless, I knew I lost her. I'd give ANYTHING to tell her that I 'm sorry for the fight and to tell her that I love her one more time.

I called 911 and everyone showed up, and I was treated like a criminal that potentially murdered her for 3 hours until the coroner arrived and said it was cardiac failure. After that was said everyone's demeanor towards me changed and they became more sympathetic.

She always loved the beach and we went every chance we got. One of her happiest memories was when we were on a beach at Montego Bay Jamacia

I went with a beach theme for her urn, so now I feel she's forever at the beach



TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Miscellaneous; Religion
KEYWORDS: memory; vanity
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To: CMS

They did you wrong. They may have misinterpreted your state of shock. I would want an apology from them. Go up the chain as you can until you get it.

I do have one piece of advice, because I know how traumatic it can be to lose a loved one. Be sure to live a life, because should the day come when you are reunited, she will want to hear everything you did when she was gone. It would probably kill her if she learned that her death took you with her as well.

I had that experience with somebody. His brother died saving lives and he effectively died when his brother died. I told him that.


21 posted on 02/04/2024 2:16:24 PM PST by Jonty30 (In a nuclear holocaust, there is always a point in time where the meat is cooked to perfection. )
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To: CMS
My sincere condolences.
Prayers for you and yours.
22 posted on 02/04/2024 2:16:54 PM PST by djstex (All I Have to Say... President Trump was right about everything!)
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To: CMS

She knows.


23 posted on 02/04/2024 2:20:35 PM PST by roving (Deplorable Listless Vessel Trumpist With Trumpitis and a Rainbow Bully)
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To: CMS

That’s very lovely. Sorry you had such a sad experience!


24 posted on 02/04/2024 2:21:56 PM PST by jocon307
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To: CMS

I’m very sorry for your loss.


25 posted on 02/04/2024 2:23:15 PM PST by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
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To: CMS

It’s hard enough losing someone close that you love. I’m sorry you had to be treated like a guilty subject.
I understand that feeling of regret when there’s no second chance to make it different. Nothing worse!! I have no words to describe how traumatic that feeling is.
I’m sorry for your pain.


26 posted on 02/04/2024 2:26:51 PM PST by AuntB (Trump is our Ben Franklin - Brilliant, Boisterous, Brave and ALL AMERICAN!)
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To: Jonty30
I know I need to get out and live a life.

I was already suffering from depression before, this took it to a new level.

It's hard to move on. And yes part of me did die with her, it's just so hard to push forward

27 posted on 02/04/2024 2:28:41 PM PST by CMS (I have not heard any politicians say how to take away guns from criminals, just law abiding citizens)
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To: CMS

One fight is but the blink of a eye in context of your years together. Forgive yourself and remember the good times.


28 posted on 02/04/2024 2:30:27 PM PST by bigbob
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To: CMS

Everything you do, until you meet again, will be with an eye of being able to share it.

Keep a diary and fill that diary with a bunch of activities, pictures and everything. Just to remind yourself of what you’ll be able to share with her. If you take a pottery class, for example, you can keep pictures of all the vases so you can show her.

That kind of stuff.


29 posted on 02/04/2024 2:31:21 PM PST by Jonty30 (In a nuclear holocaust, there is always a point in time where the meat is cooked to perfection. )
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To: CMS

That’s a beautiful eulogy. Life, such a fleeting thing. Before we know what we’re even doing, it’s over and it’s too late to change it. God knows this, and has mercy on us because of it. And being with God now, she also knows it.


30 posted on 02/04/2024 2:32:18 PM PST by Telepathic Intruder
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To: CMS

God bless you and keep you.


31 posted on 02/04/2024 2:32:32 PM PST by MeganC (Ruzzians aren't people. )
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To: CMS

Very sad indeed. I pray that God heals your heart and replaces it with more love!


32 posted on 02/04/2024 2:33:21 PM PST by silent majority rising (When it is dark enough, men see the stars. Ralph Waldo Emerson)
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To: CMS

what a lovely testimony of love.

(and a timely warning to those of us fortunate enough to have our pearls beyond price still with us.

may God meet you and yours with His every Comfort.


33 posted on 02/04/2024 2:33:25 PM PST by dadfly
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To: CMS; roving
Try not to beat yourself up too hard. I rather suspect that's not what she'd want

roving: She knows

I offer you an anecdote from my own younger days, that might perhaps help assuage your regrets some small amount:

I used to be consumed with horrible anxieties, what ifs, etc at night. What if I died? What if she died? What if the house caught fire? What it the car had a blowout... those sorts of things. Always kept me awake. I was eventually able to get them under control.

One night, I had the same experience as you: we exchanged very cross words. And so, added to my anxieties was your very situation: "what if one of us doesn't wake up and those were our last words to each other?"

She was already asleep. She rolled over to where she was facing me, and in the dim light I could just make out her face. I ran a couple of fingers across her cheek, and she smiled in her sleep. After an angry evening, things I felt like couldn't be taken back, the simple truth of things was forgiveness and love, even in her sleep.

And so as roving said: She knows.
34 posted on 02/04/2024 2:37:14 PM PST by verum ago (I figure some people must truly be in love, for only love can be so blind.)
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To: CMS

The two of you were blessed. May God comfort you.


35 posted on 02/04/2024 2:38:12 PM PST by gitmo
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To: CMS
So sorry for your loss.

Sure your wife knows you love her and miss her.

Your memorial for her is beautiful.

36 posted on 02/04/2024 2:42:01 PM PST by Churchillspirit (Pray for President Trump)
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To: CMS

Very sorry for your loss.

You shared something special, which is a treasure.


37 posted on 02/04/2024 2:42:34 PM PST by aMorePerfectUnion
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To: CMS
Just read your home page.....

Thank you for your service. God bless you.

38 posted on 02/04/2024 2:44:03 PM PST by Churchillspirit (Pray for President Trump)
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To: CMS

She knows how you felt and would want you at peace.
It’s very nice.


39 posted on 02/04/2024 2:44:38 PM PST by EEGator
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To: CMS

You did good. I’m trying to think if I’ve argued with you or anything recently. I hope I did. Hang in there buddy. That had to be tough also, people acting like it was your fault.


40 posted on 02/04/2024 2:44:52 PM PST by DesertRhino (2016 Star Wars, 2020 The Empire Strikes Back, 2024... RETURN OF THE JEDI)
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