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The Babylon Bee Has Obtained Trump’s Short List Of Possible VP Picks
Babylon Bee ^ | January 24, 2024 | Staff

Posted on 01/28/2024 2:54:36 PM PST by Twotone

With the Republican presidential primary looking all but wrapped up, attention now turns to who Donald Trump will choose as his vice-presidential running mate. The Babylon Bee writers, expert investigative journalists that we are, have managed to obtain Trump's official short list of potential VP picks:

A Stanley tumbler: Get ready for unprecedented support from suburban white women.

Pop-Tart Guy: The breakfast pastry that captivated the nation could be the ultimate unifying choice.

Nikki Haley's husband: Just to really mess with her.

Argentinian President Javier Milei: Just think of the hair!

The lucky fan who buys the 1 millionth Trump NFT: Congrats, Martha from Ohio!

Macaulay Culkin: The Home Alone 2 reunion America needs.

Taylor Swift: Expect multiple cutaways to show her in the audience during every Trump speech.

Voldemort: Oh no, the media was right — Trump IS pure evil!

Hillary Clinton: Just so he can make her come to every Oval Office meeting and then say, "Sorry, Hillary, you're not in this one." Delicious!

Jesus: Sure to lock down the Christian vote.

Alec Baldwin: Every presidential candidate should have a running mate ready to use deadly force to protect him.

Catturd2: The very best social media has to offer. We, too, cannot believe this is real life.

Himself: After looking far and wide, Trump could find no one more qualified than Trump.

Gosh, we can't believe Mike Pence got left off. Keep an eye out, America - the next Vice President of the United States is somewhere on the list above!


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; trump; vp
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1 posted on 01/28/2024 2:54:36 PM PST by Twotone
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To: Twotone

“Alec Baldwin: Every presidential candidate should have a running mate ready to use deadly force to protect him.”

LOL


2 posted on 01/28/2024 2:56:09 PM PST by Fai Mao (Starve the Beast and steal its food.)
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To: Twotone

Give me Tom Selleck and I’m sold! lol


3 posted on 01/28/2024 2:56:51 PM PST by workerbee (==)
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To: Twotone

Making the King of the Universe VP is nothing short of an insult.


4 posted on 01/28/2024 3:02:57 PM PST by Telepathic Intruder
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To: workerbee

Caitlyn Jenner. Would they dare criticize him/her?


5 posted on 01/28/2024 3:03:17 PM PST by KierkegaardMAN (I never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man.)
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To: Twotone

We need a veep who’s just as MAGA as Trump.


6 posted on 01/28/2024 3:07:19 PM PST by fishtank (The denial of original sin is the root of liberalism.)
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To: Telepathic Intruder

Humor. It’s what makes it all worthwhile.


7 posted on 01/28/2024 3:12:50 PM PST by mairdie (Trump - Nessun Dorma, from Puccini's Turandot - Luciano Pavarotti https://youtu.be/MigUKGKr-nQ)
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To: Twotone

Ever since George Washington did not like John Adams the VP has kind of been on the outside. How about picking a really good administrator and then tasking him with running a department he can’t get anyone good for?


8 posted on 01/28/2024 3:13:07 PM PST by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: Twotone

Since the VP has no real duties, except to cast a tie breaker, he should nominate Justice Kavanaugh. The left would go absolutely nuts! That would be so much fun to watch.


9 posted on 01/28/2024 3:19:05 PM PST by Michael.SF. (There is only one reason why I will ever vote for a Republican: Democrats)
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To: Retain Mike

“How about picking a really good administrator and then tasking him with running a department he can’t get anyone good for?”

In the immortal words of my sixth-grade teacher, Sister Mary Joseph, “What......What is WRONG with you???

I keed! I keed!


10 posted on 01/28/2024 3:27:06 PM PST by SaxxonWoods (Are you ready for Black Lives MAGA? It's coming.)
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To: Twotone

Honestly I am thinking about reaching out to him.

I believe I would be a far better VP than his last one.

I could have been president, but instead I did what I thought at the time was in the best interests of my country.

(There was leverage and money involved but in retrospect I was quite wrong. )


11 posted on 01/28/2024 3:27:27 PM PST by algore
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To: Twotone

almost any of these choices would be a 1000 times better for USA than Ineligible Kamala


12 posted on 01/28/2024 3:27:48 PM PST by faithhopecharity (“Politicians are not born. They're excreted.” Marcus Tillius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: Twotone

John Sununu—the Secret Service can use him for target practice.

;-)


13 posted on 01/28/2024 3:30:02 PM PST by cgbg ("Our democracy" = Their Kleptocracy)
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To: Twotone

John Wick and his dog because it would guarantee no one messes with Trump.


14 posted on 01/28/2024 3:33:03 PM PST by Boomer (The Long Winter is coming...)
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To: Twotone

Wait..what?

Where’s Chuck Norris?!

This list is bogus without Chuck Norris.


15 posted on 01/28/2024 3:50:38 PM PST by TheWriterTX (🇺🇸✝️🙏🇮🇱)
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To: workerbee

Agree!


16 posted on 01/28/2024 4:13:17 PM PST by Cobra64 (Common sense isn’t common anymore)
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To: Twotone

The VP must not be a short person. Look how tall Barron and President Trump is not short. Get rid of the short list and and get a medium to tall list.


17 posted on 01/28/2024 4:44:59 PM PST by mountainlion (Live well those that did not make it back.)
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To: Twotone

The guy who bought Trump’s Lamborghini at Barrett Jackson yesterday.


18 posted on 01/28/2024 5:59:57 PM PST by Zathras
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To: cgbg

What is a short list without Robert Reich?


19 posted on 01/28/2024 6:44:05 PM PST by Vehmgericht
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To: Retain Mike

I could be mistaken, but I think it was Jefferson as the VP in 1796 who was the one that Washington had the issues with. I think Washington was on somewhat cordial terms with Adams, even if he disagreed with Adams on various legislative things.

However he developed a dislike for Jefferson that eventually caused a breach in their relationship where Washington simply never spoke to him in personal conversation again after Jefferson began a whispering campaign against Washington, and Washington was given irrefutable proof that Jefferson was behind it.

Washington spoke to Jefferson personally, and let him know in no uncertain terms that he was aware of Jefferson’s back channel efforts to discredit him as feeble, dottering, and unable to make decisions. After that, in the public eye such as functions, Washington would speak to Jefferson in cold, required discussion, but that was it.


20 posted on 01/28/2024 6:49:31 PM PST by rlmorel ("The stigma for being wrong is gone, as long as you're wrong for the right side." (Clarice Feldman))
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