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Hamas Says All The AK-47s Found In Gaza Hospital Were Strictly For Medicinal Use
Babylon Bee ^ | Nov 14, 2023 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/14/2023 8:06:30 PM PST by george76

GAZA — As reports began to come out that Israeli Defense Forces had discovered a Hamas weapons depot hidden in a Gaza children's hospital, a spokesman for Hamas was adamant that all of the AK-47s found in the hospital were for medicinal use only.

"These were clearly medical machine guns," said Ali Mohammed Al Mohammed. "By confiscating these weapons, they are depriving sick children of the life-saving medical care that these rifles, rockets, and bombs provide. Only people who are truly heartless would take these weapons away from children who are ill. Death to Israel, thank you."

As Israel continues to receive a mixture of support and criticism for its ongoing offensive against Hamas in Gaza, the discovery of a cache of weapons in a children's hospital was a sobering reminder of what the IDF is up against. When pressed on the matter, the Hamas spokesman refused to admit the weapons stockpile was for use in the war. "Don't be ridiculous," Mohammed said. "The weapons were clearly labeled ‘Surgical AK-47s and Explosives.'"

"Why would we hide our weapons in a building with innocent children? That's ridiculous! We only allow essential, life-saving therapeutic weapons in the children's hospital. We're not monsters. Glory to the blood-soaked martyrs. Thank you."

At publishing time, Hamas had sent a formal request to have all of the weapons returned to them immediately. "We really need them back," Mohammed said. "And by ‘we,' I mean the sick children, of course. Yes, not referring to ourselves, the vengeful mujahideen. Totally the sick children."


TOPICS: Humor; Military/Veterans
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 11/14/2023 8:06:30 PM PST by george76
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To: george76

Muhammed, Do you want to see my sliver healing bullet? I am number one with it.


2 posted on 11/14/2023 8:09:23 PM PST by Liaison (TANSTAAFL)
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To: Liaison

It late, can’t spell for bleep.


3 posted on 11/14/2023 8:10:36 PM PST by Liaison (TANSTAAFL)
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To: Liaison

Dang who was that masked terrorist? Zorrow? /sarc


4 posted on 11/14/2023 8:11:57 PM PST by Liaison (TANSTAAFL)
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To: george76

So the Whore of Babylon Bee is now for gun free zones, eh?


5 posted on 11/14/2023 8:26:02 PM PST by fightglobalism
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To: george76

I can understand that.

It’s called: Terrorist assisted ‘youthinasia’, via AK-47s. Everybody that enters the hospital becomes an automatic candidate for the euthanasia. Hamas will do the honors.


6 posted on 11/14/2023 8:28:05 PM PST by adorno
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To: george76

BZZzzzzzzzzzzz


7 posted on 11/14/2023 8:29:53 PM PST by NorthMountain (... the right of the peopIe to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: fightglobalism

What are you talking about?


8 posted on 11/14/2023 9:14:56 PM PST by madison10 (He watching over Israel slumbers not, nor sleeps.)
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To: george76

The Nee can be brutal

Perfect. Good for them


9 posted on 11/14/2023 11:25:35 PM PST by Nifster ( I see puppy dogs in the clouds )
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To: george76

“Bring me two “assault rifles.” “STAT!”


10 posted on 11/14/2023 11:48:25 PM PST by nickcarraway
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To: george76

LOL! Now that’s funny.


11 posted on 11/15/2023 2:11:53 AM PST by FlingWingFlyer ('Build Back Better' is a Bidenskyyyyyyism for 'we gotta get rid of all dem white peoples'.)
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To: madison10

Should people have the right to own arms or not?


12 posted on 11/15/2023 4:58:17 AM PST by fightglobalism
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To: george76

repeat of the older 2010 tactic

We Con the World
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KUcv452KbU


13 posted on 11/15/2023 5:34:03 AM PST by PIF (They came for me and mine ... now its your turn)
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To: george76

Use them for gender-affirming and reproductive health care?


14 posted on 11/15/2023 6:28:39 AM PST by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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