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Wandering Israelites Getting Real Tired Of Guy Who Keeps Saying, 'At Least We're Getting Our Steps In'
Babylon Bee ^ | Sep 27, 2023

Posted on 09/29/2023 8:20:48 AM PDT by SoConPubbie

SINAI — As they wandered the wilderness, the Israelites brought complaints to Moses about their lack of food, water, and the guy who kept saying, "At least we're getting our steps in!"

"Isn't this great, guys?" Eldad asked, oblivious to the lament of his fellow Israelites. "I'm topping the leaderboard of all the Fitbit friends I have back in Egypt. Totally smoking those guys!"

And the people complained in the hearing of the Lord about their misfortunes, but mostly about Eldad because he was excruciatingly positive.

"Would that Eldad had been left back in Egypt!" cried out Emma, the maid. "Why did you save him, Moses? I want answers!"

At another time Eldad said, "Look at it this way, guys, we're getting so much exercise. I eat all the manna I want and don't put on a single pound!"

Upon reflection, Eldad also noted how great it was that he could spend so much time with everybody. "I didn't get to see half of you while I was busy making bricks. We had no time to talk. Ah, this is so great!"

At publishing time, the Spirit of God rested on Eldad and he prophesied in the midst of the camp, possibly as a credit to his positive attitude. But this just annoyed everyone even more.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 09/29/2023 8:20:48 AM PDT by SoConPubbie
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To: SoConPubbie
Too funny!

When I was part of a portable church (renting a space for the weekends), those of us on the setup/takedown team sometimes referred to ourselves as the pillar of fire team for leading when it's time to go into the building and when it's time to leave.

2 posted on 09/29/2023 8:37:15 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Tell It Right

Now that’s a good one!


3 posted on 09/29/2023 9:15:07 AM PDT by Redcitizen
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To: SoConPubbie

When I need more steps I put the Fitbit on my dog. When I need more sleep I put it on my cat. ;0)


4 posted on 09/29/2023 11:52:56 AM PDT by super7man (Madam Defarge, knitting, knitting, always knitting.)
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To: SoConPubbie

Joshua said unto Moses: Make them stop!

Moses said back: Sorry. Would that all the people were prophesying.


5 posted on 09/30/2023 10:05:52 AM PDT by Eleutheria5 (Every Goliath has his David. Child in need of a CGM system. https://gofund.me/6452dbf1. )
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