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Fauci Says He Never Locked Anything Down And Has Never Heard Of COVID
Babylon Bee ^ | Apr 26, 2023 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 04/30/2023 6:20:50 PM PDT by george76

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a testy exchange with an interviewer for Meet the Press last week, Dr. Anthony Fauci claimed he never locked down schools and hasn't even heard of COVID.

"COVID? I've never even heard of such a thing! What is COVID? That sounds made up!" said the former NIAID Director and COVID advisor to the President. "And I certainly had nothing to do with locking down schools and destroying kids' learning and development for over a year. What kind of monster would do something like that? You must have me confused with someone else."

The interviewer then nervously checked his notes to make sure he was, indeed talking to Anthony Fauci, the chief architect of U.S. COVID policies. "But it says here that--"

"Shut up!" cried Fauci as he smacked the notes out of the interviewer's hands. "I'll ask the questions here! I AM SCIENCE!"

Sources say the doctor further denied any involvement in business closures, Wuhan lab coverups, or the field of medicine altogether. At publishing time, former President Trump had claimed to have no idea who Fauci was.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 04/30/2023 6:20:50 PM PDT by george76
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To: george76
"Shut up!" cried Fauci as he smacked the notes out of the interviewer's hands. "I'll ask the questions here! I AM SCIENCE!"

Brilliant Bee as always! 😂

2 posted on 04/30/2023 6:26:25 PM PDT by Allegra
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To: george76

(Source noted.)

After his most recent scientific trip to Wuhan, to check up on the latest foul research he is participating in, Fauci emerged infested with a new man-made cootie.   Fauci was itchy.


     

3 posted on 04/30/2023 6:34:41 PM PDT by Songcraft
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To: george76

Thankfully it’s just satire!


4 posted on 04/30/2023 7:41:30 PM PDT by No name given (Anonymous is who you’ll know me as.)
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To: No name given

Or is it?

Way too many times I have caught myself checking the source for headlines I read here, only to find out they are not the Babylon Bee.


5 posted on 04/30/2023 8:34:41 PM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith….)
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To: george76

Fauci Says He Never Locked Anything Down And Has Never Heard Of COVID

“One death is a tragedy; one million is a statistic.” – Josef Stalin

“To sum it all up, I must say that I regret nothing.” – Adolf Eichmann

“I want you to know that everything I did, I did for my country.”- Pol Pot

“We love death. The U.S. loves life. That is the difference between us two.” – Osama bin Laden


6 posted on 05/01/2023 11:15:28 AM PDT by Ronaldus Magnus III (Do, or do not, there is no try)
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