Posted on 04/24/2023 9:34:27 AM PDT by gattaca
NEW YORK, NY โ After months of controversy, Fox News has decided to part ways with the only reason anyone watches Fox News.
"Yes, we realize he delivered the most successful cable news program of all time, but we felt embarrassed by him at our Manhatten cocktail parties," said Fox News CEO Suzanne Scott. "When we tried to get invited to fancy, sophisticated gatherings, people said: 'Ewwww, aren't you the Tucker Carlson people?' and that made us feel sad. Curse you, Tucker, for making us feel sad!"
When reached for a reaction, Tucker simply stared dumbfoundedly at our reporter for several minutes.
Industry experts believe there are other factors that contributed to the alleged firing, including the fact that the company is too broke to pay him after settling a lawsuit with Dominion Voting Systems.
Progressives are reportedly overjoyed by the move, although many are saying Fox didn't go far enough by not killing Carlson in addition to firing him. "You mean he's still alive?" said Congresswoman AOC. "Tucker being alive is fascism!"
At publishing time, producers were seen looking through files for another hot blonde to replace him with.
Don lemon has been hired by Fox News to take over the Tucker Carlson show. The new direction comes out of the dominion lawsuit. In order to settle the other lawsuit they have to hire Don lemon and change the reviews from conservative to extreme liberal.
Pucker up.
More truth in this then satire.
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Hope people are saving video clips of Tucker Carlson shows, they will be memory holed asap on the internet very soon.
Please NO MORE BLOND BIMBOS... Hire on merit, IQ, knowledge and creativity...
Oh, so that is where Bud Lightโs former marketing exec ended up, FoxNews. Looks like she made first marketing pitch and Fox accepted it.
โGet rid of that Tucker. Hey what about Don Lemon?โ
Talk about hitting the nail on the head.Bam.
She can tell you 'bout the plane crash, with a gleam in her eye.
These midnight swat raids are a recipe for disaster. A guy I knew years ago used a duplex he owned to grow pot. He got a call at work from someone telling him there was a problem at his home and he needed to get there as soon as possible. The cops arrested him on a bridge as he was headed home.
Damn. Wrong thread.
Just unsubscribed from FNN on Youtube.
Looks like Tucker was saying too much of the truth. They allowed him to say some of it for years, but recently he touched some sacred cows and he had to go. That’s the end of FNN for me.
Today marks the “Bee’s” transition from satire to hard news.
Fox is suicidal. They’ll probably replace Tucker with Geraldo.
Musk can create Twitter TV, go up against Youtube TV and have Tucker as his inaugural host.
Murdoch and Ailes knew what they were doing:
“The Fox Chick Channel: Breast And Leg”
Is the head dead yet?
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