Posted on 02/07/2023 9:46:58 AM PST by sodpoodle
🤢"It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone." - Andy Rooney.
🤢"The older I get, the better I used to be." – Lee Trevino, Professional Golfer.
🤢"Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere." – George Burns.
🤢"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain.
🤢"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg.
🤢"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir.
🤢"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." – Robert Orben.
🤢"You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you're actually not that tired." – Robert Brault.
🤢"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns.
🤢"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot.
🤢"The important thing to remember is that I'm probably going to forget." – Unknown.
🤢"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us... at age 40, we don't care what they think of us... at age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all." -Ann Landers.
🤢"We don't grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso.
🤢"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they're cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin, Comedian.
🤢"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner.
🤢"Grandchildren don't make a woman feel old, it's the knowledge that she's married to a grandfather that does." - J. Norman Collie.
🤢"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old." - Mark Twain.
🤢"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett.
🤢"Looking fifty is great—if you're sixty." - Joan Rivers.
🤢 Time is a great healer so put on a smile and keep moving forward. " – Anonymous.
--
Don’t sweat old age. It doesn’t last very long.
Thanks, needed that.
21 is the optimal age. Before you’re 21 you spend your time trying to look older, after 21 you spend your time trying to look younger.
Here’s one they missed:
I remember the time I drove an 18-wheeler while at the same time fighting off Corn Pop. - Joe Biden
The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills.
I’m here all week. Try the veal....tip your server...
Men age like wine, women like milk. (Too true, unfortunately)
“tip your server” I can’t do that, he might capsize. /snicker
Is that you Hank? :)
Never regret growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
And not that much left.
History is seasonal and winter is coming. The very survival of the nation will feel at stake. Sometime before the year 2025, America will pass through a great gate in history, commensurate with the American Revolution, Civil War, and the twin emergencies of the Great Depression in World War II. The risk of catastrophe will be high. The nation could erupt into insurrection or civil violence, crack up geographically or succumb to authoritarian rule. If there is a war, it is likely to be one of maximum risk and effort – in other words, a total war. Every Fourth Turning has registered an upward ratchet in the technology of destruction, and in mankind’s willingness to use it.” (The Fourth Turning, Strauss & Howe, 1997)
Lol!
One of my favorites:
If I knew I was going to get this old, I would have taken better care of myself.
growing older never hit me until I turned forty-10
Good one. And there are 3 stages of a man’s sex life.
Tri-Weekly
Try Weekly
Try Weakly
This is funny.
Thanks for posting.
“I Told My Doctor I Wanna Stop Aging; He Gave Me A Gun.”
Rodney Dangerfield
The older I get, the older old is :)
“My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.”
“My doctor told me that if I take excellent care of myself, one day I’ll get very sick and die.”
- Rodney Dangerfield
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