But first, sweet talk...
Why do you want to impregnate a giraffe?
Let me ask you a question since you’re still in the game. If I were to write an operating system for today’s world, what language should I use?
Who defines expert?
I’m a standup philosopher who is presently impersonating a public school teacher in social studies.
Journalist by training, janitor by profession, strong historical background, classic media history, geography, knowledge of nations big and small.
I’m always right about everything. I don’t see why people don’t make more use of my skill.
Delicious FIB BAIT. Don’t bite!
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I’m teeming with a lot o’ news, It’s Always a lot o’ news. AAah
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
I’m very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I know our mythic history, King Arthur’s and Sir Caradoc’s
I answer hard acrostics, I’ve a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I’ve heard the music’s din afore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev’ry detail of Caractacus’s uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
In fact, when I know what is meant by “mamelon” and “ravelin”
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I’m more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by “commissariat”
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery—
In short, when I’ve a smattering of elemental strategy
You’ll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee
For my military knowledge, though I’m plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-GeneraL
Well, I wouldn’t call myself an “expert on Free Republic” but I’m an expert on some things. My knowledge of Free Republic is limited to being a user.
I thought you were an expert in hittin’ it?
I build giraffe patterned stilts that make impregnating a giraffe much easier.
I know ten times as much as someone who doesn’t know nothing.
Catfish, older Johnson and Evinrude motors, problem solver, goat roping, feud starter and all around $hit disturber.
I’m intimidated by you guys but I can claim knowledge in art—techniques and history— design and woodwork; used to teach the first two.
I identify as a teenager, I know everything and am an expert in everything.
I’ve heard it said that, if you want to know how to impregnate a giraffe, someone on Free Republic will be able to tell you the height of the ladder you’d need.
—
Is the giraffe on level ground? Ladder safety is important. Make sure you have a spotter at the base of the ladder (good luck finding one for the aforementioned task).
I am an expert in not providing useful answers to probing questions.
"C'mere, big boy..."