Posted on 11/24/2022 4:49:50 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
If you were to look under the roofs of American homes at random, it wouldn’t take long to find someone who lives alone. By the Census Bureau’s latest count, there are about 36 million solo dwellers, and together they make up 28 percent of U.S. households.
Even though this percentage has been climbing steadily for decades, these people are still living in a society that is tilted against them. In the domains of work, housing, shopping, and health care, much of American life is a little—and in some cases, a lot—easier if you have a partner or live with family members or housemates. The number of people who are inconvenienced by that fact grows every year.
Those who live alone, to be clear, are not lonely and miserable. Research indicates that, young or old, single people are more social than their partnered peers. Bella DePaulo, the author of How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century, reeled off to me some of the pleasures of having your own space: “the privacy, the freedom to arrange your life and your space just the way you want it—you get to decide when to sleep, when to get up, what you eat, when you eat, what you watch on Netflix, how you set the thermostat.”
The difficulties of living alone tend to lie more on a societal level, outside the realm of personal decision making. For one thing, having a partner makes big and small expenditures much more affordable, whether it’s a down payment on a house, rent, day care, utility bills, or other overhead costs of daily life. One recent study estimated that, for a couple, living separately is about 28 percent more expensive than living together.
(Excerpt) Read more at theatlantic.com ...
Sweet.
You probably pay more for utilities and home insurance than they do. Some owners also have mortgage insurance if they still have a mortgage. And apartment dwellers don't have to pay real estate tax, nor routine repairs, painting and cleaning, mowing and landscaping, alarm systems, or replacing worn out mechanicals—HVAC, stove, fridge, water heater, dishwasher, disposal, ceiling fans, and sometimes carpeting or flooring, doors or windows, roof, or rain gutters.
They would have more expense than you for parking if their apartment lot doesn't offer free parking but you have a driveway or on-street parking with no fee.
As long as house dwellers stay away from HOAs, that is.
Very well said, DIW.
That’s a keeper!
I had this problem solved when I lived in a city, because there was no end of gay men who worked on houses, were design-minded, and did neat finish work like women but were strong like men. You could meet them through the gay men who ran the family hardware or paint store, or who tuned pianos, did hair, or sold fabric or flowers. But when I moved to the suburbs, there was no comparable way to find a "community" like that. And I wouldn't live in a city again now that I'm old. They've all gone to Democrat hell.
Well I don’t have animals but I’m still not lonely. I had to learn how to live life single after I lost my husband. You have to unravel the life you once had as you venture into other ways to live life.
I think it’s far worse for people to live a lonely life in a marriage that no longer works.
I hope you are saving many of your tales that you kindly share with us in a folder labeled “memoirs”, for when you are ready to start putting it all together!
You will be assigned an LGBT sex partner, and your children will be assigned to you from the produce of the turkey baster slaves.
The beauty of being schizophrenic is that I never have to live alone. And neither do I.
Gee, are you sure he's not a cat?
But if you throw away everything that hurts you never actually live.
I know I will lose some of those I love to death. But the choice to love has brought me such joy that it is totally worth it.
Of course. I don’t think anybody has advocated throwing away things that hurt.
Poster meowmeow understood what I meant right off the bat.
I am blessed to have many people I love dearly in my life. But, for example, I lost two people very, very close to me in 2020. My post addressed your comment about nobody caring when certain people die.
My response was that I’m personally OK with that. I don’t wish my demise to be the cause of the sort of pain I have experienced at the loss of others.
It doesn’t matter to me if people don’t feel deep pain at my passing. I’ll be gone.
I know I have wonderful people I will see again on the other side.
“And I’d do it again 100 times over!! Even if I had the money I never put myself on the hook for 400k just to keep up with the Joneses!! Never!!”
I’m with you a 100%.
Peace and quiet...
Samuel Johnson, the 18th-century lexicographer, knew someone who was in an unhappy marriage (back when divorce was very rare). Finally the man's wife died. Soon afterwards he married again. Johnson's comment was that it was the triumph of hope over experience.
Your description of the berthing aboard ship exactly coincides with what I had. O2 level, top rack of a stack of 3, just below the AG.
I was in Catapults, so would go to hit the rack after launch of evening aircraft. Just as we began falling asleep, aircraft would begin returning to the carrier. Lots of racket! After a couple of weeks, the noise no longer woke me.
We had 60 guys in our compartment. Everyone respected others’ privacy if it was apparent they wanted to be alone. Even in that small space, being “alone” was often wanted.
I’ve lived alone for 28 years, since a divorce. Love it!
btw... I’m now 80. The divorce I mentioned was after 24 yrs. of marriage, and #2 for us both.
Funny, isn’t it? I always found it fascinating that people could adapt to that, and did.
I remember my first time I was on the ship at sea, and was exploring. I went as far forward as I could, just outboard of the bow cat when they fired it.
I had no idea what it was. It scared the crap out of me! Those things are damned loud. Of course, once you know what it is and hear it a bunch of times, you can then sleep through it, but if you are walking along, fat, dumb, and happy with no inkling it is going to fire off, and even less inkling of what the noise is...well, it is pretty intimidating that first time.
Anyway, thanks for your service, shipmate. What carrier were you on?
Also, I can see how a bad relationship resulting in a divorce can easily make you appreciate solitary living. I understand it well.
An Optimist is a man looking forward to marriage.
A Pessimist is a married optimist.
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