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Political Jokes for today..........
https://upjoke.com ^ | October 31, 2022 | Anonumous

Posted on 10/31/2022 7:52:43 AM PDT by Red Badger

A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: “Give me your money.” The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: “But, wait! You can’t do that, I am a Congressman!” The thief replies: “Oh, sorry. Give me MY money.”

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It was so cold today I saw a congressman put his hands in his own pockets

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How long does a Congressman serve? Depends on his sentence.

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A local congressman was sitting in his office when the phone rang. He picked it up, said little, smiled widely, said "Thank you," and hung up the phone. He picked the phone back up to call his mother. "Mom, it’s me,"he said. "I won the election!" "Honestly?" she said in response to the news. "Does it really matter how I did it?" he replied.

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A congressman was seated in first class next to a little girl on an airplane. He turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming, universal health care, or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly. "OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy when you don't know crap?" Then she went back to reading her book.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 10/31/2022 7:52:43 AM PDT by Red Badger
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To: Red Badger

Paul Pelosi’s favorite show,.......... “Tool Time”.

Favorite music artist?...... MC Hammer!

( I stole that from another thread)


2 posted on 10/31/2022 7:58:03 AM PDT by Robe (A nation can survive its fools and even n the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within.)
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To: Robe

If I Had a Hammer (Hammer Song)
Pete Seeger

1956

If I had a hammer
I’d hammer in the morning
I’d hammer in the evening
All over this land

I’d hammer out danger
I’d hammer out a warning
I’d hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters
All over this land

If I had a bell
I’d ring it in the morning
I’d ring it in the evening
All over this land
I’d ring out danger
I’d ring out a warning
I’d ring out love between my brothers and my sisters
All over this land

If I had a song
I’d sing it in the morning
I’d sing it in the evening
All over this land

I’d sing out danger
I’d sing out a warning
I’d sing out love between my brothers and my sisters
All over this land

Well I got a hammer
And I got a bell
And I got a song to sing, all over this land

It’s the hammer of Justice
It’s the bell of Freedom
It’s the song about Love between my brothers and my sisters
All over this land

It’s the hammer of Justice
It’s the bell of Freedom
It’s the song about Love between my brothers and my sisters
All over this land


3 posted on 10/31/2022 8:01:19 AM PDT by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: Red Badger

Biden said he visited 54 states
The four extra are:

State of confusion
State of denial
State of impairment
State of being lost


4 posted on 10/31/2022 8:16:25 AM PDT by Erik Latranyi (We are being manipulated by forces that most do not see)
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To: Robe
Everyone KNOWS it's true !
5 posted on 10/31/2022 9:00:28 AM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true . . . I have no proof, but they're true.)
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To: Erik Latranyi

Very good. Only he is a perpetual resident of those other states.


6 posted on 10/31/2022 11:07:34 AM PDT by Getready (Wisdom is more valuable than gold and harder to find.)
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To: Robe

Favorite detective....Mike Hammer..

Pelosi was hammered before. Remember his drunk driving conviction.

His life events indicate he is way outta’ control and cannot function in society. Going the way of all flesh.


7 posted on 10/31/2022 11:18:06 AM PDT by Getready (Wisdom is more valuable than gold and harder to find.)
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