Posted on 10/26/2022 5:24:05 PM PDT by simpson96
Today is Hillary Clinton’s 75th birthday, as Luther noted. Earlier this week, the former first lady, U.S. senator, secretary of state, and current not-president celebrated with “about 100 of her top donors and longtime supporters at the St. Regis in New York to talk about her future,” Teddy Schleifer of Puck reported. No, she won’t be running for anything. But she is thinking about her legacy. So “she has been pitching donors on a new philanthropic entity called the Hillary Rodham Clinton Leadership Project,” according to Schleifer. He continues:
The new Clinton initiative will both highlight what Clinton has already done, particularly for women around the world, and serve as a new home for Clinton to talk about her own philanthropic work going forward—on democracy, global health and leadership development.
So Hillary spent her birthday figuring out how to profit from the same brand-driven, elite-level arbitrage that she and her husband have depended on ever since the end of his presidency. (And before that presidency’s end.) Points for consistency, I guess. What certain people and institutions see in Hillary, so much so that they continue to pointlessly reward and elevate her — as a paragon of “leadership!” — well after her political utility has expired, is beyond me.
When it seemed likely that she would become president, all those donations to the “Clinton Global Initiative” — since dried up — at least made a crude political sense, even as they were the quintessence of modern elite corruption. A President Hillary — just typing the words suffices to make one shudder, especially this close to Halloween — would be someone you’d want to have exchanged favors with. But failed-candidate Hillary? The one who spends her days stewing about the past and engaging in the same kind of election denialism she condemns when it comes from the other side? What’s the point?
Indeed, the best present Hilary Clinton could give herself on her 75th birthday would be to remove herself from public life. She should spend her remaining years in pleasant quietude, being with her grandchildren, going on walks, and tinkering with powered-exoskeleton builds. Her retirement would double as a welcome gift for the rest of us.
A vagina
The grotto at the Playboy mansion to officially be named The Hillary Clinton Love Cave.
That would be Cruel and Unusual punishment. For both of them.
What she needs is to be star of the new reality movie named Hillary In Handcuffs .
You’re going to give me nightmares. I’m going to bed soon.
A bunk in Riker’s Island and an orange jump suit?
I have mixed feelings. First thought was a blue dress.
But, on second thought, a eulogy would be so much better - for us . . .
A one-way ticket to Riker’s, an orange jumpsuit, and a large jar of Vaseline.
A free visit to Joan Rivers’ plastic surgeon.
Rehab
A copy of the book
HOW TO SELL YOUR COUNTRY’S SECRETS WHILE TAKING A CRAP ON YOUR TOILET IN YOUR BASEMENT
oh, that’s right.
She already knows how to do that.
A spyglass so she can look for that $34,000,000,000 she “lost” while she was Secretary of State.
The Secret Tapes of Monica and Bill in the Oval Office.
A handle for her back so she can be used as a Curling Stone.
Spray to create a protective barrier on the surface of the bowl water.
A new liver to replace the one all eaten up with alcohol induced cirrhosis.
A copy of the famous book:
The Feminine Mistake
Orange pajamas!
That mental image is going to have me tossing and turning all night.
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