Well said, ladies. Unfortunately, their minds do not operate in a way that helps them to have hope for a better tomorrow.
LL, everyone knows you meant no harm.
Prayers up for all who have suffered the pain of losing a loved one to suicide.
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I never said LL meant any harm, did I? I conveyed something that I experienced myself, first hand, with a statement many people made to me, personally - even though I’m sure they meant no harm.
It absolutely did not help at all. Sometimes being nice or sympathetic means Not saying anything at all. That statement can not cover the demons that have tortured so many souls.
If you think I’m being mean, just have your father and brother both hang themselves, then get back to me.
Please do not take what I said as any sort of criticism of you. I had read LL’s apology and I just wanted her to know that she was in the clear. My apologies if I offended you
As for losing a loved one to suicide, I speak from experience, but it was a gunshot and not hanging..
Just my personal experience and opinion -
This post is about people who are trying to be nice, not about people who are intentionally hurtful.
I have had funerals where people came up to me and said stupid things that made it feel worse.
The first time this happened, I was angry, but too much in shock to even respond.
After thinking about it, I realized that the person was not intentionally making it worse, he was just extremely socially inept and clumsy.
What I eventually realized was that I would rather have family and friends show up and attempt to offer sympathy even if they are clumsy than for them not to show up at all. My clumsy friend who came to the funeral is a better friend than the smooth slick friend who didn’t.
It requires and extra measure of tolerance to hold this view. That’s hard when you are suffering and barely holding it together. I was able to find that extra tolerance by realizing that my clumsy friend was suffering, too. Real friends grieve when you grieve.
JMO.