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Wife Successfully Executes 37-Point Turn
The Babylon Bee ^ | May 6, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/09/2022 9:49:47 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

AMARILLO, TX—A local woman stunned critics Friday by successfully executing a record-breaking 37-point turn in front of Lawndale Elementary School on Bivins St. The driver, identified as Cheryl Alessa, only held up traffic for 12 minutes as she performed the daring expert maneuver.

Alessa dropped her kids off for school on 25th Ave and then proceeded to make a wrong turn in a northward direction. To avoid a minor delay on her way to a yoga class she promptly initiated the 37-point turn on the packed street. Bystanders began laying on their car horns and raising their voices at the loving wife and mother.

"People were really cheering for me," Alessa later told authorities. "You could hear the crowd for miles. I didn't think it was a big deal but I guess few women are as skilled as I am behind the wheel."

According to sources, her husband Gerald has expressed displeasure at the incident. "I'm worried about the example she's setting for our children. A U-turn at the next intersection would have been simpler and safer. Frankly, she's a loose cannon."

"He's just threatened by my mad skillz," said Cheryl who laughed off her husband's concern. (She specifically pronounced the word skillz with a z).

At publishing time, school officials sent a letter to the Alessa household, encouraging the family to make other arrangements for their kids to be brought to school by someone other than their mother.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Education; Humor; Local News; Miscellaneous; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: 37pointturn; amarillo; driving; satire; texas; traffic; wife; wrongturn
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1 posted on 05/09/2022 9:49:47 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

2 posted on 05/09/2022 9:50:45 AM PDT by \/\/ayne (I regret that I have but one subscription cancellation notice to give to my local newspaper)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

This wouldn’t be funny unless there were an element of truth. ;-)


3 posted on 05/09/2022 9:51:41 AM PDT by glorgau
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

This was perfect!


4 posted on 05/09/2022 9:53:14 AM PDT by Sirius Lee (They intend to murder us. Prep if you want to live and live like you are prepping for eternal life)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Give me 40 more acres to turn this rig around

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKJxvN62FH0


5 posted on 05/09/2022 9:56:21 AM PDT by llevrok (Pronouns: Me/myself/& I)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-2492317/Video-Driver-performs-agonisingly-long-turn-narrow-parking-space.html

150 point turn...🤣🤣🤣


6 posted on 05/09/2022 10:05:23 AM PDT by maddog55 (The only thing systemic in America is the left's hatred of it!)
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To: glorgau

It would be more truthful if she was also of Asian decent.


7 posted on 05/09/2022 10:07:01 AM PDT by woodbutcher1963
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Still can't be done with a manual transmission. She will never break that record.
8 posted on 05/09/2022 10:09:10 AM PDT by Radix (His Fraudulency Joe Biden…)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Had a guy make a straight line across 6 lines of Atlanta traffic yesterday to get to an exit he didn’t want to miss. People were honking and encouraging him by holding up one finger every time he made it to the next lane unscathed.


9 posted on 05/09/2022 10:09:43 AM PDT by DouglasKC
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To: glorgau

The bee does it again


10 posted on 05/09/2022 10:09:45 AM PDT by gibsonguy
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

11 posted on 05/09/2022 10:10:25 AM PDT by z3n (Kakistocracy)
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To: woodbutcher1963

Chinese women tend to drive Lexii (Nanking is forgotten).

they drive exactly 8.72 mph on the main throughfare
they drive 4.51 mph on regular streets

they drive 169.69 mph racing each other to get that last parking place in the Costco lot


12 posted on 05/09/2022 10:21:11 AM PDT by faithhopecharity (“Politicians are not born. They’re excreted.” Marcus Tillius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: faithhopecharity

A lot of people drive more slowly in Pensacola. Why? Because #FloridaMan sometimes gets behind the wheel and causes havoc. I only wish I weren’t speaking from experience.


13 posted on 05/09/2022 10:26:49 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Florida: America's new free zone.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Reminds me of the video of that congress baboon trying to park her minivan going the wrong way.


14 posted on 05/09/2022 10:27:34 AM PDT by doorgunner69 (Let's go Brandon)
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To: z3n

If you have ever passed the Pin on a Trailer, you likely know what that GIF is really saying. I did it once, maybe 3 times, but technically I think only once. It was a bitch to get out.


15 posted on 05/09/2022 10:30:35 AM PDT by Radix (His Fraudulency Joe Biden…)
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To: doorgunner69
This is it:

https://youtu.be/Z7Ym-kk1tRw

16 posted on 05/09/2022 10:33:31 AM PDT by doorgunner69 (Let's go Brandon)
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To: faithhopecharity

Then it takes them 10 minutes to pull into that parking spot.


17 posted on 05/09/2022 10:34:12 AM PDT by woodbutcher1963
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To: woodbutcher1963

ha!

and when it comes time to back out, they do that in one second flat!


18 posted on 05/09/2022 10:35:44 AM PDT by faithhopecharity (“Politicians are not born. They’re excreted.” Marcus Tillius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: woodbutcher1963

Took my daughter to test drive a car at a local dealership - as she was coming back in to park it, a parked vehicle suddenly backed out and rammed into the side of our test car.

Several witnesses including the salesman in the car assured my daughter she was not at fault and could not have avoided it. After parking the car, we both looked to see the other driver talking to dealership people - yep, Asian woman.


19 posted on 05/09/2022 10:36:52 AM PDT by larrytown (A Cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do. Then they graduate...)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I am one of those slow drivers - I only go five miles per hour above the speed limit.


20 posted on 05/09/2022 10:52:55 AM PDT by Little Ray (Civilization runs on a narrow margin. What sustains it is not magic, but hard work. )
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