Posted on 02/27/2022 2:10:11 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
A brazen but goofy Florida shoplifter was caught on video awkwardly stealing a crossbow by stuffing it down his pants.
Darren Durrant could be seen on security footage in the aisle of a True Value store in Mims on Feb. 6 trying to stuff the large Ravin Rio bow in the front of his sweatpants, which barely hold around his hips and do little to hide the bulge.
The handle of the crossbow is visible poking out of the waistband as the shoplifter makes his getaway, the video shows.
Brevard County Sheriff Wayne Ivey called the alleged thief “one of the world’s dumbest criminals” in a social media post.
Store workers had noticed two of the bows had been stolen and checked surveillance footage and saw a man steal a pair of cutting tools off a shelf, then cut zip ties off a crossbow, Ivey said.
The video shared on social media shows the man identified as Durrant walking around the corner from where the crossbows were displayed, with the bow in one hand — and a prop crutch in the other. The thief casually rests the single crutch against a shelf as he puts the bow in his pants and barely conceals it with his jacket, the video shows.
He then picks up the crutch and limps away with the bow, which lists for sale $1,299 and up depending on the specific model.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
This one’s your crossbow
This one’s your gun
This one’s for shooting
This one’s for fun
DANG!
At least that’s someone who has the right to be mad when they get triggered.
To be fair, who among us has not tried to stuff a crossbow down his pants?
If he only put on his black face, he’d still be a free man.
Darwin will entirely get him.
Maybe this goof wanted a crossbow with no transaction records. Anything could’ve happened if he got away cleanly.
I still remember a policeman who murdered a woman with a crossbow. Back in the 1982s. Tulsa OK.
https://www.oklahoman.com/article/2021004/2-tulsans-indicted-in-crossbow-killing
https://www.oklahoman.com/article/1978000/tulsa-police-arrest-suspect-in-womans-crossbow-death
I used to have an old French book in which there was an illustration of a man walking down a 1400s French town.
The windows across the street flew open and about 4-6 crossbowmen release a barrage of arrows at the man with several hitting him.
Above his head a window flies open and a spear man is stabbing down.
They must have really hated that guy. Lost the book. Wish I had it for that illustration.
“Hey wait. You forgot the arrow that goes with it. Let me shove it up your pants for you.”
Is that like an Appendix Carry?
The things we do when we’re younger.
In my case, it was my friend who tried to stuff the crossbow down his pants.
Me, I tried to stuff the archery target up my shirt.
Alas, neither of us was successful.
Hahaha….nope. Not a crossbow, I just have a badly bent schlong…..you know, terrible peronis disease
Was the crossbow cocked?
I was thinking the same... 🤓. 👍
Zombies.
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