Posted on 02/19/2022 12:52:27 PM PST by sodpoodle
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down.
Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was.
'It's a period,' he replied.
'I can see that,' said the teacher, 'but what is so exciting about a period?'
'Darned if I know,' chirped the little boy ... 'but this morning my sister was missing one, my mother fainted, my dad had a heart attack, and the boy next door joined the Navy.
LOL!!!!
I miss 1950s humor.
Reminds me of a story from when I was a child. For several years we didn't have a TV. One day I went to school and all the kids were saying that gorillas with machine guns had taken over the 1972 Munich Olympics. Very matter of fact. All of a sudden everyone just went mildly crazy.
A few days later I saw a newspaper article with the headline saying "Guerillas doin' sumthin sumthin" and I asked my dad what that word was.
LMAO!
Nice
Good one. Gotta keep that for use down the road.
An oldie but a goodie!
But I just want to point out that a kindergartener isn’t likely to know what “.” (without quotes) is in the literary sense.
😁
When I was in early grade school, we lived in the Silver Valley region of Northern Idaho which was home to several large mines. I remember asking my dad why the bars and taverns disliked miners because so many people here were miners. He quickly realized that I had been looking at the sign on the door of a tavern that said "No minors."
I had to ask one day when I was a kid, without letting on what I was really confused about.
Christmas was contracted to Xmas. So what did those signs mean with a guy pictured walking and “XING” or Railroad “Xing”?
When we went into town I used to think that bicycles were not allowed as there were signs “No Peddling. “
Mine was a misunderstood lyric. It made sense in my 8 year old mind. “Later on we’ll perspire as we sit by the fire.”
On a summer day, Johnny looked out the front window of his home and saw two canines copulating in the middle of the street.
“Dad, what are those two dogs doing?” inquired the boy.
Embarrassed, his father answered, “The one in back has sore paws, and because the asphalt is hot, the one in front is helping him cross the street.”
“Ain’t that just like a friend?” Johnny replied. “You try to help him out, and he screws you every time!”
Ahah, a mondegreen
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen
My brother said the older kids misunderstood the lyrics to another Xmas tune... Glooooria, in eggshellshit daaaayo.
At the Future Farmers of America the teacher gave the students an assignment where they’re given an imaginary 100 acres of land and to come back the next week to explain what they’d grow and why.
Next week comes and the teacher calls on little Mary. Mary says she’d grow 100 acres of corn because it’s getting a decent price, made into Ethanol and so on.
She calls on little Tommy and he says if he had 100 acres he’d grow soybeans because there was a good return on investment, you can make biodiesel etc.
She calls on little Johnny and he says if he had 100 acres, he’d grow hair. The teacher gives him a funny look and asks why in the world he’d grow hair and he replied that his sister had a little patch of it and was making $500 a night.
Oh my! I hope they didn’t belt that out in church.
In our Catholic Church, my sister at 4 yelled out, ‘stop ringing those damn bells.’ My mother almost died of embarrassment. My father laughed.
And why in the world did those shepherds need to wash their fox by night?
The 9 most commonly misheard Christmas lyrics
https://www.classicfm.com/discover-music/occasions/christmas/misheard-carol-lyrics/
Joy to the World
• Misquoted lyric: “And makes the nations prudes”
• Correct lyric: “And make the nations prove”
12 Days of Christmas
• Misheard lyric: “On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me, four colly birds”
• Correct lyric: “On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me, four calling birds”
Deck the Halls
• Misquoted lyric: “Deck the halls with bras of holly”
• Correct lyric: “Deck the halls with boughs of holly”
All I Want for Christmas
• Misquoted lyric: “Take back the Harley and mistletoe”
• Correct lyric: “Take back the holly and mistletoe”
Frosty the Snowman
• Misquoted lyric: “With a broom stuck in his head”
• Correct lyric: “With a broom stuck in his hand”
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer
• Misquoted lyric: “Olive the other reindeer”
• Correct lyric: “All of the other reindeer”
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
• Misquoted lyric: “Grandma got run over by a reindeer, walking home from outhouse on Christmas Eve”
• Correct lyric: “Grandma got run over by a reindeer, walking home from our house on Christmas Eve”
Jingle Bells
• Misquoted lyric: “Bells on cocktail rings”
• Correct lyric: “Bells on bobtail rings”
Silent Night
• Misquoted lyric: “Round John Virgin, mother and child”
• Correct lyric: “Round yon virgin, mother and child”
One lyric I did not know until I was an adult was from the song “There’s a bad moon on the rise” —> There’s a bathroom on the right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUQiUFZ5RDw
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