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SCOTUS Rules Healthcare Workers Are The Only People Who Can't Make Decisions About Their Own Health SATIRE
Babylon Bee ^ | Jan 13, 2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/14/2022 3:56:02 AM PST by gattaca

U.S.—In a landmark ruling, the U.S. Supreme Court has determined that Biden's vaccine mandate for private businesses is unconstitutional. However, in a split decision, they also determined that healthcare workers are the only ones who should not be allowed to make decisions about their own health.

"Healthcare workers have no idea what they're talking about when it comes to important healthcare decisions. They aren't smart like us," said the group of judges that includes people like Sotomayor, in a ruling in favor of a Federal Government that includes people like Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. "The personal health choices of healthcare workers should be left to people more qualified, like us."

The decision was made based on the timeless legal principle that if the government pays for your healthcare, they own your body, mind, and soul for all eternity.

Citing this new victory, the Biden administration is looking into other things it can mandate for healthcare workers, such as abortions, sex changes, and maybe some warmer stethoscopes.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 01/14/2022 3:56:02 AM PST by gattaca
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To: gattaca

Common sense....They’ve been working for 2 years without being vaccinated. MOST likely have Natural immunity and are safer than most.


2 posted on 01/14/2022 4:07:59 AM PST by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: gattaca

But But But, I though the Babylon Bee was satire. This is a straight news story.


3 posted on 01/14/2022 4:18:34 AM PST by Tupelo
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To: gattaca

I’ve seen hundreds of covid patients. Have had the vax and covid. It’s insanity to mandate this. Our job just got harder and not safer. Stupid.


4 posted on 01/14/2022 4:39:00 AM PST by arkfreepdom
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To: gattaca

Babylon Bee’s satire is more spot-on to the truth than any liberal “news” outlet.


5 posted on 01/14/2022 4:40:45 AM PST by ScottinVA (Enough. Cage the libs.. now. )
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To: Sacajaweau

What medical providers can do, is to not accept Medicare/MediCAL patients.
Then the medical providers do not have to get the “vaccines”.


6 posted on 01/14/2022 5:14:53 AM PST by OldArmy52 (Joe ah, ah, you know, the guy... for President!)
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To: OldArmy52

Dr’s not accepting new patients who are covered by Medicare, medical, etc is a serious issue. Theses .gov programs do not reimburse Dr’s enough to cover their costs. I was only able to get services from 3rd world Dr’s from medical schools in the Caribbean during covid so far after retiring and moving to a different state. They won’t look you in the eye and tell you they are not accepting senior citizens they’ll just say they aren’t accepting “new” patients.

The entire social safety net - Medicare, soc sec, etc is bankrupt. I’m eligible for these programs but fortunate enough to be able to for care out of pocket. If you’re relying on .gov, you’re fooked!


7 posted on 01/14/2022 5:25:36 AM PST by lurked_for_a_decade (Imagination is more important than knowledge! ( e_uid == 0 ) != ( e_uid = 0 ). I Read kernel code.)
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To: gattaca

The warmer stethoscopes is actually a pretty good idea. I would support that mandate.


8 posted on 01/14/2022 7:41:56 AM PST by DannyTN
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To: gattaca

What about Natural Immunity?

They act like it doesn't exist. We just got over COVID. Now my wife who works at a nursing home will have to choose between jab or job. Also, it seems like getting the jab shortly after having had COVID is a risky proposition.

9 posted on 01/14/2022 8:14:57 AM PST by Pollard (PureBlood -- https://youtube.com/watch?v=VXm0fkDituE)
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