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Brave: Chris Wallace Comes Out Of Closet As Fake News Journalist
Babylon Bee ^
| December 13, 2021
| Babylon Bee
Posted on 12/13/2021 11:40:54 AM PST by gattaca
ATLANTA, GA—After being in the closet for over 18 years at Fox News, news anchor Chris Wallace has come out officially as a fake news journalist. After being turned down by The Babylon Bee, Wallace will make the move over to CNN's new streaming service.
"I attempted real news for a long time, but I was living a lie," said Wallace in his official statement on Fox News. "It's time for me to finally be honest with the world and live out my truth. It's time for me to finally show the world who I really am: a fake news journalist."
Journalist advocacy groups applauded Wallace's brave move as a "huge step" for fake news journalists everywhere.
CNN will feature Chris Wallace on its new streaming platform, which promises to be even more fake than their cable news service. Other anchors will include Jussie Smollett, Chelsea Clinton, Joy Behar, and Big Bird from Sesame Street.
Fox News applauded Wallace for his bravery and thanked him for the inevitable ratings boost.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: chriswallace; cnn; foxnews
1
posted on
12/13/2021 11:40:54 AM PST
by
gattaca
To: gattaca
Did I forget to mention this is satire, or is it?
2
posted on
12/13/2021 11:41:37 AM PST
by
gattaca
("Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." Ronald Reagan)
To: gattaca
Are you sure this is not real?
To: gattaca
Babylon Bee is a satire site and should not be reporting actual, if only premature, news. it is confusing to those of us with very limited memories (for current events) and have a hard time remembering if this is factual or only wishful thinking
4
posted on
12/13/2021 11:50:21 AM PST
by
dirtymac
( Now Is The Time For All Good Men To ComeTo The Aid Of Their Country! NOW)
To: gattaca
“Did I forget to mention this is satire, or is it?”
BB is losing their cred ...
5
posted on
12/13/2021 11:56:42 AM PST
by
TexasGator
(UF)
To: gattaca
He should get paid with Monopoly money.
6
posted on
12/13/2021 12:04:13 PM PST
by
Leep
(Save America. Lock down pres. Brandon!)
To: gattaca
“SO STUNNING, SO BRAVE, SO STUNNINGLY BRAVE!!”
7
posted on
12/13/2021 12:05:21 PM PST
by
dayglored
("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
To: gattaca
8
posted on
12/13/2021 12:08:05 PM PST
by
ComputerGuy
(Heavily-medicated for your protection)
To: gattaca
9
posted on
12/13/2021 12:20:40 PM PST
by
Nifster
(I see puppy dogs in the clouds)
To: gattaca
Chris couldn’t carry his father’s jock.
10
posted on
12/13/2021 12:37:10 PM PST
by
Joe Boucher
(Kimber .45 )
To: Joe Boucher
Chris couldn’t carry his father’s jock.If his last name wasn't Wallace he would be selling sunglasses at the sunglass hut.
11
posted on
12/13/2021 12:39:03 PM PST
by
1Old Pro
(Let's make crime illegal again!)
To: gattaca
After being in the closet for over 18 years at Fox News, news anchor Chris Wallace has come out officially as a fake news journalist ... Wallace will make the move over to [CNN+] ... "I attempted real news for a long time, but I was living a lie," said Wallace in his official statement on Fox News. "It's time for me to finally be honest with the world and live out my truth. It's time for me to finally show the world who I really am: a fake news journalist."The far-left Chris Wallace, who giddily tag-teamed (with senile Sleepy Joe) against President Trump in the 2020 Presidential Election debate, now requires and demands that anyone who talks about him must use his preferred neopronouns:
dem/shill/black/lives/matter/lib/tard/defund/the/police/prin/cess/sno/flake.
12
posted on
12/13/2021 12:49:07 PM PST
by
gw-ington
(Democrat policies are obviously weakening America, so vote conservative.)
To: gattaca
Not brave. Just following CIA orders.
13
posted on
12/13/2021 12:53:27 PM PST
by
EasySt
(Say not this is the truth, but so it seems to me to be, as I see this thing I think I see.#KAG )
To: gattaca
Following in Brian Williams foot steps.
14
posted on
12/13/2021 1:18:19 PM PST
by
SkyDancer
( I make airplanes fly, what's your super power?)
To: gattaca
Unlike Tom Cruise, Wall-ass has come out of the closet
15
posted on
12/13/2021 1:38:01 PM PST
by
newfreep
(“Leftism, under all of its brand names, is a severe, violent & evil mental disorder.”)
To: The_Media_never_lie
The Bee has graduated from satire to prophesy.
16
posted on
12/13/2021 1:40:41 PM PST
by
Little Ray
(Civilization runs on a narrow margin. What sustains it is not magic, but hard work. )
To: Little Ray
Will Chris Wallace take that silly smirk with him?
To: Little Ray
The Bee has graduated from satire to prophesy.
You nailed it!
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