Posted on 11/04/2021 1:49:33 PM PDT by servo1969
RICHMOND, VA--Terry McAuliffe's loss in the Virginia gubernatorial race has sent shock waves through the Democrat establishment. Some are blaming the rise of racism, domestic terrorist parents of public-school students, and lack of understanding of true Marxism for the loss. After careful study of the results, however, the campaign determined the true cause was a shockingly low turnout among 3 a.m. ballots.
"Yeah, our ground game was clearly to blame," said McAuliffe to tearful reporters. "After studying the numbers, there is just no way to sugarcoat our failure to turn out the 3 a.m. ballots. Bottom line is, we simply came up short. The votes in the key 3 a.m. demographic just weren't there."
The DNC is looking closely at what went wrong in Virginia to make sure they don't repeat the mistakes in the crucial 2022 election. So far, the clear takeaway is simply to make sure they have enough ballots in reserve to make up for a rise in racism, pornophobia, LGBTQaphobia, Islamophobia, and Marxismaphobia among the voters.
"We thought we had it in the bag with all the early vote ballots, all the absentee ballots, all the dead voter ballots, and frankly we got a little lazy and let the country down," said McAuliffe campaign head Biff Tannen. "Let this be a lesson to all Democrat candidates facing an election in this hostile environment full of terrorist parents who don't want their girls raped in school bathrooms by guys wearing skirts. Do not rely on actual people voting for Democrats! The 3 a.m. ballot demographic is key to Democrat victory from now on."
Democrat strategists also determined to push the wildly popular CRT a little more next time.
I’m thinking the number of House and Senate candidates in 2022 asking Brandon to come and campaign is close to zero.
Sounds like he’s complaining about a lack of an adequate illegal ballot dump! Why wouldn’t that surprise anybody?
Ha! Best Babylon Bee headline this week!
Bee nails it, again!
The Babylon Bee is a parody site. This is a joke.
Or as El Rushbo used to say: the best humor always has an element of truth in it.
FTA——The DNC is looking closely at what went wrong in Virginia to make sure they don’t repeat the mistakes in 2022 .....
...the clear DNC takeaway is to make sure they have enough ballots in reserve to make up for racism, pornophobia, LGBTQaphobia, Islamophobia, and Marxismaphobia among deplorable voters.
I realize this ... I dont think Spok did. Either that, or it really is Spock and he has no natural sense of humor :p
Maybe Spok has been taking too much LDS. LOL
is it?
Blame everyone but yourself.... Useless liberal azzhole.
-PJ
Lol.
It’s true, too.
McAwful isn’t a true Obama Cartel member.
They could have stolen it by tomorrow and would have if it were an insider.
Seriously it’s hard to distinguish satire from reality these days but admittedly, I just read the headline. It’s a common affliction of the cubicle bound.
YOU ARE WRONG! Any number of GOP candidates will be happy to have Dementia Joe campaigning for their OPPONENTS! Looking forward to he and his puppet team explaining business fails with the supply chain & COVID mandates! Explaining 5 Trillion spending and new taxes! Explaining a nuclear Iran and the Afghanistan debacle. Gas prices levitating and winter blackouts as wind&solar FAIL!
Now if you had inserted 'Democrat' between 'of' and 'House', there I agree!
This is supposed to be satire but Youngkins lead shrank significantly between midnight and 3 am.
Not just the headline!!
HAHAHAHA! Most here won’t get that, but I sure appreciated it!
I thought the main reason was not enough dead voters voted at 3 am. (/satire alert)
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