Guy Who Started Two Wars Calls For Civility

babylonbee.com ^ | 9/12/2021 | staff

[bitt]

SHANKSVILLE, PA—In a stirring speech at the Flight 93 Memorial yesterday, some guy who started two wars called for more civility.

"Yes, I may have started two foreign wars on false pretenses that wasted trillions of dollars and killed hundreds of thousands of innocent people," said the guy whose name we can't remember at the moment. "However, it's important to understand the real threats to our great nation are the people who took selfies in the Capitol building a few months ago. Those Trump supporters are children of the same foul spirit as Al Qaeda and they must be brought to justice."

The Trump supporters, who had sent sons and daughters to fight and die in this guy's war for 20 years in exchange for being insulted, mistreated, pushed from their manufacturing jobs, and called racist, responded to the speech in a very frightening and uncivil way by saying "Boooooooo."

Thanks to the sweeping and intrusive Patriot Act surveillance measures enacted by the Texas-sounding guy on stage, the evil uncivil hecklers were discovered and quickly detained by the FBI and thrown in prison awaiting trial in 2-10 years.

President Biden was reportedly so inspired by the speech that he ordered another drone strike of foreign aid workers in Afghanistan.

[bitt]

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[mass55th]

As usual, the Babylon Bee never fails to hit the nail on the head

My only disappointment is that nobody threw their shoes at Bush yesterday like that Iraqi journalist did in 2008. I doubt he'd been as quick ducking them as he was the last time👟🥿👞🥾👢👡👠🩴🩰

[Bob Ireland]

***President Biden was reportedly so inspired by the speech that he ordered another drone strike of foreign aid workers in Afghanistan***

Amusing - but also sadly pathetic.

[silverleaf]

No wonder the libs hate the Bee…

[sport]

Mark

[Nextrush]

“Stay Out Of The Bushes”

I grew up as a teenager reading Reverend Jesse Jackson’s newspaper columns.

He actually said some decent things back then before he became a Democrat running for President in the 1980’s.

And later on Jackson came up with another good phrase but it took me a while to realize how good it was.

[DannyTN]

[Widget Jr]

Bump and bkmk.

[redinIllinois]

He deserved lots of shoes, didn’t he??

[smokingfrog]

Never heard Shrub say anything bad about Antifa or BLM riots. Guess I must have missed it. And now the Taliban have billions of dollars worth of US military equipment thanks to joE.

[mass55th]

"He deserved lots of shoes, didn’t he??"

Yeah, but I left out the ski boot, ice skate and roller skate emojis!

[free-in-nyc]

The Bee is on the mark, as usual.

Wish I could laugh more at this one, but it has too much truth in it.

[alexander_busek]

And later on Jackson came up with another good phrase but it took me a while to realize how good it was.

Are you referring to "Hymie-Town?!"

Regards,

[Night Hides Not]

I'd be laughing out loud, but the meds haven't completely kicked on my case of shingles.

Another blow dealt to the sanctity of vaccinations: the doctor told me the shingles vaccine primarily lessens the symptons if you get it.

I look like hell now, like I was in a fight with a mountain lion, and lost...lol.

[Nextrush]

Of course not but make no mistake.

We do need to:

“Stay Out Of The Bushes”

Donald J. Trump would agree 100 percent.

[Pikachu_Dad]

He didn’t ‘start’ two wars.

It is one war, and it has been ongoing for over 1,500 years.

[Mark17]

Yeah, but I left out the ski boot, ice skate and roller skate emojis!

OK, you can borrow these. 🛹⛸🛼🎿🥌

😂😀

[ConservaTeen]

Love the Bee...

[metmom]

I saw that video clip and it actually was pretty funny.