Asians Asked To Be Less Successful To Stop Ruining Racial Narrative

Babylon Bee ^ | 3/16/21

[Impala64ssa]

U.S.—There is a long-successful narrative about race in this country: Racism of the past has led to structural racism, which keeps minorities from being successful. It seems really, really true, but one group continually causes problems for that narrative: Asians.

Asians in the U.S. have faced terrible discrimination in the past and continue to face discrimination today, and yet they continue to do even better academically and financially than white people -- the bad race that oppresses everyone. Woke activists are trying to put an end to this with a campaign urging Asians to be less successful so the simple racial narrative can prevail.

“It’s really inconsiderate,” said activist Howard Morrison, a white person who prides himself on caring more about racial issues than even most minorities. “No minority is supposed to be able to succeed until all white people learn to check their privilege. If minorities are successful anyway, it gets harder to guilt white people and just makes things more difficult for everyone.”

The new campaign is called, “You’re Not Allowed to Succeed Yet.” It’s specifically aimed at Asians but also applies to any minority doing well before structural racism is ended. The campaign has a phone number to report any successful minority, who will then be educated on how important it is that minorities wait for white people to fix things before any of them do well. A number of top universities have already signed on to the campaign and are helping out by limiting the number of Asians they admit.

[Impala64ssa]

Actually, back in the 80's there was a remake of the Charlie Chan movies, that was a bit of a flop. Some self proclaimed Asian civil rights group urged a boycott of the movie because they didn't appreciate how it portrayed Asians as intelligent and wise. So if Asians are portrayed with slanty eyes speaking Pidgin "Engrish", THAT'S RACIST! If Asians are shown in a positive light, THAT'S RACIST! You just can't win with the PC "not sees". Within every group, racial, ethnic, etc there are those few who need to get offended for the sake of getting offended.

[Savage Beast]

"Try to be less successful, everybody!"

What a commentary on the looser-mentality of the Left!

The decadence of Western Civilisation has certainly spawned a generation of bums! How stupid can these people get!

[MikelTackNailer]

A number of top universities have already signed on to the campaign and are helping out by limiting the number of Asians they admit.

It's not comedic parody when it's actually true. As a kid I loved the Charlie Chan movies for showing how families working together can overcome anything (and solving that film's mystery). Super positive influence on my growing self so to hell with these 'woke' idiots' opinions.