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Study Finds Connection Between Wearing A Mask And Being A Big Sissy
Babylon Bee ^ | 7/16/2020

Posted on 11/25/2020 4:24:26 AM PST by LibWhacker

U.S.—Studies have shown that wearing masks can help slow the spread of the novel coronavirus, but a new alarming study shows that wearing a mask has a downside: It greatly increases your chance of being a big sissy.

“The results are incredible,” said sissiness researcher Winston Sullivan. “Someone could seem perfectly normal, but as soon as they put on a mask, you’re all, ‘Aww. Is the poor little guy scared of getting the flu?’ Total wussification, as it’s known in my field.”

According to the study, when some of the participants wore masks, Sullivan felt compelled to knock them to the ground and shout names at them. “And all they did in response,” Sullivan explained, “was say, ‘Is this part of the experiment?’ What a bunch of dorks.”

Sullivan did say that in certain situations wearing a mask could not make you a sissy, such as if it were “part of an entire ninja ensemble.” “But if you don’t know kung fu,” Sullivan said, “it definitely just makes you a big sissy.”

Sullivan did admit the masks were somewhat effective in keeping people from “infecting each other with the ‘rona and dying and stuff,” which is worth noting if “you’re the sort of nerd who cares about that.”


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; corona; coronavirus; covid19; mask; sissy; virus; wuhan
Oldie but goodie (and never posted).
1 posted on 11/25/2020 4:24:26 AM PST by LibWhacker
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To: LibWhacker

I thought The Bee was satire?


2 posted on 11/25/2020 4:31:43 AM PST by mkleesma
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To: mkleesma

It ain’t satire this time...

Although many pro-Communist Chinese suck-ups here just love that mask... love scolding people to “just wear the dammed mask”


3 posted on 11/25/2020 4:35:18 AM PST by Starcitizen (Communist China needs to be treated like the pariah country it is. Send it back to 1971)
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To: LibWhacker

The last line is interesting


4 posted on 11/25/2020 4:40:37 AM PST by babble-on
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To: LibWhacker

So currently away from home for work and living in a condo complex and one of the residents is a former star basketball player at the local U. A gal friend of mine (a runner and quite fit in her early 60s) walked in to the elevator and basketball star was standing in there with his mask on. When she stepped in (sans mask), he stepped back into the corner and checked his mask for snugness.

Gal friend says to him, “Oh, does it bother you that I don’t have a mask?”

Basketball star still holding his mask snug, “I believe in wearing masks.”

Gal friend, “Well, you’re a pussy, then...”

Door opens and basketball star quietly and quickly exits... :-)


5 posted on 11/25/2020 4:57:14 AM PST by Hatteras
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To: LibWhacker

Mask AND a man bun. That makes you a TOTAL wuss.


6 posted on 11/25/2020 4:58:36 AM PST by HighSierra5
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To: LibWhacker

“sissiness researcher” LOL! Probably more valuable than “Gender Studies”.


7 posted on 11/25/2020 5:01:18 AM PST by MayflowerMadam ("FRAUD VITIATES EVERYTHING." Landmark case - SCOTUS/ U.S. v. Throckmorton)
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To: HighSierra5

I don’t wear a mask anywhere but do wear a Trump shirt to protect me.


8 posted on 11/25/2020 5:02:21 AM PST by oldasrocks
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To: HighSierra5

Man buns. OY! Are they still a thing? They disgust me.


9 posted on 11/25/2020 5:02:52 AM PST by MayflowerMadam ("FRAUD VITIATES EVERYTHING." Landmark case - SCOTUS/ U.S. v. Throckmorton)
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To: Starcitizen

Karen, If you attempted to scold me I would blow a wet one in your face.


10 posted on 11/25/2020 5:03:58 AM PST by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn...)
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To: LibWhacker

Kinda like the testicular self examination for gun control activists and mask wearers. If you have a pair, dont be a pussy!


11 posted on 11/25/2020 5:06:29 AM PST by Delta 21 (Get off your ass and earn it!)
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To: LibWhacker

Study Finds Connection Between Wearing A Mask And Being A Big Sissy.

Liquor store robbers and rioters disagree.


12 posted on 11/25/2020 5:28:41 AM PST by GoldenPup
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To: LibWhacker
Alpha men have always worn a mask: their beard. The survival advantage is it hinders beta males from identifying who knocked up their wife.


13 posted on 11/25/2020 5:37:19 AM PST by Reeses (A journey of a thousand miles begins with a government pat down.)
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To: LibWhacker

True nevertheless.


14 posted on 11/25/2020 6:07:54 AM PST by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith....)
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To: mkleesma

Well, that’s what they claim.


15 posted on 11/25/2020 6:08:23 AM PST by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith....)
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To: Hatteras

Lol! Great story and thanks for sharing. My encounter at the local covenience store went like this. I’m at the register and I’m paying (sans mask) with 5 or 6 people dutifully distanced behind me and wearing masks. Some blowhard walks in and passed me while he is saying “only drunks and morons don’t wear the mask. Put on a mask.” And he kept walking. At first I didn’t realize he was talking to me but I just blurted out “FO and enjoy your slave mask asshole.” Should have seen the eyes light up of the people in line. I rather enjoyed the whole thing.


16 posted on 11/25/2020 6:57:37 AM PST by subterfuge (RIP T.P.)
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To: subterfuge

‘Should have seen the eyes light up of the people in line. I rather enjoyed the whole thing.’

there will soon be public fisticuffs over this crap; I see no indication that mask mandates are going to end before 2022, if then, and patience, while a great virtue, is limited...


17 posted on 11/25/2020 3:17:36 PM PST by IrishBrigade
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