Posted on 10/30/2020 3:28:41 PM PDT by BipolarBob
MADISON, WI—While most costumed trick-or-treaters expect candy during their Halloween hunting, several Democrat households are planning to get Joe Biden across the finish line by handing out extra ballots instead.
"This is an excellent addition to my normal line-up of raisins and carrot sticks," said local Democrat operative Collin Frump. "There are literally thousands of these ballots lying around everywhere, and we need to get Kamala Harris elected to save our country from fascism!"
"Hey, kids! Have you or your parents voted for Joe Biden yet?" Frump said to a witch, an Iron Man, and a mermaid at his door. "Here, take these ballots I have filled out for you. Put your parent's name or the name of a dead relative at the top and send them in!"
Another local activist named Jerry Wallace plans to do the same this weekend. “It suddenly dawned on me that I had tons of ballots I could pass out!” he said. “I’m a firm believer that a person’s voting rights don’t end after they die -- even if it means they switch from voting Republican to Democrat. I already registered several dead relatives, as well as my twenty cats, and had a bunch of those ballots lying around, waiting to be sent in. Children are our future -- at least the ones who haven’t been aborted, so it only makes sense to give them the gift of a vote this year!”
At publishing, the latest polls showed that children from the neighborhood were split evenly between voting for Kanye West and “EvanTubeHD” as a write-in candidate.
These people are reprehensible scum, and this is child abuse.
I love the satire that the Bee writes, but they really shouldn’t give democrats any ideas.
Gotcha...This article is satire.
Not that the Democrats wouldn't try this.
You DID see that this article was written by the Babylon Bee, didn’t you?
“There are literally thousands of these ballots lying around everywhere, and we need to get Kamala Harris elected to save our country from fascism!”
How can they save the USA from Fascism when they are the Fascists?? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
I wish the Babylon Bee wouldn’t give the dems any ideas.
They should have posted it after Halloween.
Actually, it would be most appropriate to have Election Day on Halloween –a day when people mask who they really are, dress up as people they are not, and go around with their hand out for goodies from the public to satisfy their appetites…
Too plausible. Gave me a quick jolt.
Babylon Bee is funny...love it...
That being said, it is getting somewhat difficult to differentiate between satire and reality when it comes to the depths demoncrats will stoop these days.
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