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SATIRE After Taking Brutal Beating In Debate, Bloomberg Rushed To Tiny Hospital In Tiny Ambulance
The Babylon Bee ^ | February 20th, 2020 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/21/2020 10:31:38 AM PST by Forgiven_Sinner

LAS VEGAS, NV—Presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg took quite a beating in last night's debate and was rushed to a nearby Las Vegas hospital. Of course, a normal-sized hospital and normal-sized ambulance are far too large for the miniature billionaire, so he was rushed to a very tiny hospital in a very tiny ambulance.

Bloomberg was quickly wheeled out to a Hot Wheels ambulance on a cute little stretcher where he was then driven to The Las Vegas Center For People Who Need Medical Attention And Want To Get Some Emergency Care Too, which is small enough to be a "hospital for ants."

The ambulance was nearly run over by real cars on the way, but Bloomberg's tiny driver is an expert and managed to weave his way through traffic in a wacky action sequence "like in Stuart Little or something."

"He's recovering nicely in a matchbox," sources at the hospital said. "He is still pretty tender, but we managed to get him to eat some little breadcrumbs and a very small soup originally designed for Polly Pocket."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bloomberg; chat; debates; democratic; notnews; satire; stoppostingsatire
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To: Forgiven_Sinner

Rush mentioned that somebody put Bloomberg’s face on the baby Trump was holding at his rally. I hope somebody posts that here.


21 posted on 02/21/2020 12:11:04 PM PST by Pining_4_TX ("Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods." ~ H.L. Mencken)
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