Posted on 02/17/2020 1:27:13 PM PST by Jewbacca
Looking for some advice dealing with a horrid little kid.
One of my younger daughters attends a non-Jewish secular STEM school in the USA. (It is about 1/4 Jewish.) She is a freshman. Very, very smart -- as in 1460 PSAT freshman smart, all high As, multilingual. GREAT athlete.
With considerable reluctance, I allowed her to participate in a program where young ladies are "presented" in society. She looked lovely and frum.
There is a young boy that has caused a bit of a trouble for her over the years. He's smart, father a bird colonel in the USAF, mother a doctor. He is not Jewish. I have a professional relationship with the father.
Said boy, about a year ago, thought it funny to draw swastikas on my daughter's school book. We blew it off.
Recently, at the above-mentioned social function, in the limo (with about 20 kids), he plugged in a rap song about how fun it is to kill Jews. (The other boys, all non-Jewish in the vehicle, strongly objected and made him turn it off.)
Mrs. Jewbacca is of the mind to blow this off and simply avoid the little s--t.
After my initial desire to beat the crap out of a 15 year old boy passed, I am left with a quandary.
Do I say anything? Specifically, do I speak to the father? If so, what do I say? I am of mixed minds, as I presume they learn this stuff at home. But his father (who very much knows I am Israeli) has never been anything but professional. And I would want to know if my kid was being a stupid s--t.
And the motive may not be antisemitism, in that, objectively speaking, my daughter is pretty (and smarter) and the kid is a bit of a fat troll.
No, I haven’t seen anything like that discussed or desired.
The kid has a right to be a Nazi. And as such, he has the right for everyone to know he is a Nazi. Isn’t that how it works?
What “should” happen is that the Jewish boys should get together and beat the crap out of the kid.
But honestly, it sounds like this little nerd likes the girl or he needs his ass kicked. In public.
“Paper Clips” (a documentary) is another good movie about the Holocaust for this age group.
“Mom to mom might be the best first option.”
Yes, but it also seems a bit of an abdication of the paternal responsibility to me.
"Fenway Pahk on its feet for Teddy f'ing Ballgame!"
“What “should” happen is that the Jewish boys should get together and beat the crap out of the kid.”
She does have a number of eager, Jewish, suitors.
Ha.
“Chubby likes your kid, duh”
This is Mrs. Jewbacca’s theory.
Yep. Trying to get her attention. Good luck.
I would speak to the father on the assumption that his hormonal 15 year old son needs clueing in on appropriately interacting with pretty girls.
He appears to be stuck in the phase where boys think that being obnoxious impresses girls. He needs some fatherly guidance before he is permanently labeled a dumbass in the school yearbook for all eternity.
Talk to the father. If he has any integrity he will square away the little turd.
Who’s higher up? I would speak to the dad and to the person in charge, yes.
First, I’d like to apologize for the idiot kid. You don’t need this crap in your life. Second, I’m sure that by the time I was 15, I knew that Nazism and the Holocaust were very bad things in the history of our planet. Age isn’t an excuse. It’s like the movie He’s Back in Germany. People should know better. Educate him, educate his father, and tell your daughter that the little Himmler wannabee isn’t worth the chewing gum on the sidewalk. ( I’d arrange for a few stars of David to be drawn on his textbooks with permanent markers and see how quick he raises a stink about it.) Sorry, when I was growing up in Florida I had one of the nice old ladies I mowed lawns for explain about the numbers tattooed on her arm. No wiggle room on this subject for me.
The kids took care of it - that one time. I would talk to the dad/ ‘I thought you’d like to know. I certainly would if it were my kid.” And then document.
Whatever you decide to do, document everything.
If you haven’t done so already, make a record of every incident: what happened, when and where it happened, and who was there. Sit with your daughter and ask her for all the details.
You don’t have to show that record to anyone else. It will be a record for you and your daughter to refer to. But, in the process of making that record, you might find that these weren’t the only two incidents.
I live in a town that is 20% Jewish. Every team my kids were on were insulted with Jewish slurs. As Italian/Polish Catholics I can attest that they were involved in some “attitude adjustments” during girls basketball and lacrosse games.
The football and hockey teams were less “nice” about it.
It was nice to see the whole town get behind them. I found the whole anti-Semitic stuff a little sickening.
hehehe... kick his ass exponentially...
sounds like he does not know how to get your daughter’s attention other than being a jerk...
good luck but do tell his dad... i would want to know as a father.
Some additional two cents, based on my dealings with teens today.
First, try to consider whether or not this is just edgy behavior or actual malice. If it’s the later, avoid the temptation to come down too hard too fast. Having it turn into a massive incident isn’t going to do anything other than feed into whatever nascent Antisemitism is there. Getting the kid suspended is likely to make him think, “See! I was right! That cowardly Jew kvetched and got me in trouble!”
I think there’s a good chance this isn’t actual antisemitism. A lot of teens tell me that they’re tired of the brainwashing at school about the Holocaust being THEIR fault because they’re white. It’s absurd, white American children have no collective guilt over an event that happened over 3 generations ago.
A lot of these kids realize they’re being manipulated and they lash out. They’re being demonized as being Nazis for existing and some are choosing to embrace it rather than let themselves be made to feel ashamed for something they had no part in.
I know it’s not easy for you and your daughter, but she very well could just be caught in the crossfire of this insane culture war we’re stuck in the middle of. Or maybe he just thinks your daughter’s cute and is awkward.
Yes, but it also seems a bit of an abdication of the paternal responsibility to me.
It’s your daughter, though. Mom to mom regarding daughter seems a bit more natural, IMO.
You want to make your valid point, move on and not escalate the situation since it seems your daughter’s peers are supportive.
What ever you do don’t talk to the kid yourself. I had a neighbor bizarrely take exception to me telling his son to not let his dog poop on my lawn. While the kid held the leash and the dog did his business on my lawn! You never know what the kid will tell his parents you said or what type the other guy is. Always talk to parents.
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