Posted on 02/17/2020 1:27:13 PM PST by Jewbacca
Looking for some advice dealing with a horrid little kid.
One of my younger daughters attends a non-Jewish secular STEM school in the USA. (It is about 1/4 Jewish.) She is a freshman. Very, very smart -- as in 1460 PSAT freshman smart, all high As, multilingual. GREAT athlete.
With considerable reluctance, I allowed her to participate in a program where young ladies are "presented" in society. She looked lovely and frum.
There is a young boy that has caused a bit of a trouble for her over the years. He's smart, father a bird colonel in the USAF, mother a doctor. He is not Jewish. I have a professional relationship with the father.
Said boy, about a year ago, thought it funny to draw swastikas on my daughter's school book. We blew it off.
Recently, at the above-mentioned social function, in the limo (with about 20 kids), he plugged in a rap song about how fun it is to kill Jews. (The other boys, all non-Jewish in the vehicle, strongly objected and made him turn it off.)
Mrs. Jewbacca is of the mind to blow this off and simply avoid the little s--t.
After my initial desire to beat the crap out of a 15 year old boy passed, I am left with a quandary.
Do I say anything? Specifically, do I speak to the father? If so, what do I say? I am of mixed minds, as I presume they learn this stuff at home. But his father (who very much knows I am Israeli) has never been anything but professional. And I would want to know if my kid was being a stupid s--t.
And the motive may not be antisemitism, in that, objectively speaking, my daughter is pretty (and smarter) and the kid is a bit of a fat troll.
Frankly, I wouldn’t discuss this with the son or the father. I would take it to his chain of command. If there is any retribution, take that to his chain of command. This type of behavior can be career ending.
“They’re nihilistic and don’t care. A lot of them are doing it to be edgy and rebellious against heavyhanded attempts at education. “
Also wise.
Sounds like the young man hangs out on 4Chan where such talk is causually bandied about for shock value. This young man may not know that such language is used there for purely shock value and thinks it is acceptable... In that aspect 4chan is a cesspool...but occasionally a nugget or two is found...
Tell the father everything and let the chips fall where they may. I would bet he doesn’t want his kid to be such a callous jerk.
So you wish to claim a protected status?
First step should be to chat with boys father. Quite aside from how upset it made you, father should point out to boy what stupid stuff like this will do to boy’s future if he ever did it to somebody who decided to make a stink with school authorities rather than quietly involving dad first.
But as an adult, we know that that is the wrong thing to do.
Thankfully, the other kids are a good bunch and went after this boy! But that's not enough; the Nazi-boy's parents need to know what he has been up to! He is their progeny and they need to handle this situation before it gets out of hand...which it can do, if not nipped in the bud.
I hope that your beloved daughter is handling this as well as someone that young can "handle" this kind of garbage.
” wonder if a restraining order could be filed.”
Not my style. Nor telling the father’s CO. Nor telling the school.
I’m of the mind to:
1. Confront the kid, possibly with the father’s permission;
2. My wife kind of knows the mother and could talk mom-to-mom;
3. I talk with the father; or
4. Do nothing but try to avoid the fat turd.
There is a PBS documentary available on YouTube called ‘Memories of the Camps’. I showed it for many years to my 8th-grade history students. It’s unfinished and roughly edited but it is very powerful. Even, rough, rowdy 8th-grade boys shut up after a few minutes. Lots of nudity—piles of dead bodies nudity. And it just keeps going on. First fifty minutes or so are of Bergen-Belsen where Anne Frank and her sister died.
If you could arrange for him to see it, it might be a substitute for a trip to the museum.
Having read all the posted responses before mine (doesn’t always happen), I tend to agree with many, who think it would be best to discuss it with the father in a low-key way.
As a parent, wouldn’t you want to know about something like this going on, so you could ask your kid about it, and have a chance for some corrective action or conversation?
Please update us as to how you approach the situation, or what you decide as far as pursuing or letting it go.
AND....GOOD LUCK
Your daughter is in high school. Time for her to get her feet wet with confrontation.
1. Talk to your daughter FIRST. See if she is willing to handle this herself. You know the situation better, but from what I read, I would instruct your daughter to confront him. Be brief, but FIRM. She should be in a situation where she can make a quick statement and then walk away (like getting off the bus), preferably out of earshot of anyone else. Have her tell the boy in a slightly elevated voice “I really don’t like it when you attack Jews. Stop attacking ME!” then walk away. Not “please” or “could you”. A little shock and awe.
2. Expect a mild hurt pride response from the boy. If the boy persists more than once, then he’s potentially a psycho and you NEED to get involved.
I don’t understand your post.
Do you mean I object to a kid playing a song about killing my daughter? Yes, yes I do.
the fat troll as you call him, may have romantic feelings for your daughter and knows he cannot win her affection so has opted for the hate me option... trying to get her to feel something for him other than indifference.
does your daughter feel threatened by this schmuck? if so, definitely tell the boy’s father. i would tell him anyway. and tell my daughter to avoid and ignore him.
Talk to his dad. If it is coming from home there is not much you can do about his feelings and beliefs but his dad will get him to shut up. In the US military you are responsible for your immediate family member's actions. Not always fair but that is the way it is.
“does your daughter feel threatened by this schmuck?”
No, pretty sure she could kick his ass. This is a STEM school, remember.
Be forewarned, however, that parents are not the same as when I grew up. If I had done something stupid like that my Dad would have punished me and put a stop to it. Many parents these days, however, will take the kid's side even against authority figures like teachers and LE.
What a great teaching opportunity!
Take him with you to the synagogue and let him experience the beauty of the Jewish faith.
Mom to mom might be the best first option.
So what do you think should be done?
Make a law? Some law that says you must not be offended?
Wow, who does that sound like?
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