"Hillary Clinton is an upstanding citizen and a very fine human being. She is of excellent character. She would never hurt anyone. "
Posted on 08/15/2019 9:31:14 PM PDT by Parody
(Full title: We Would Like To State For The Record That Hillary Clinton Is An Upstanding Citizen And A Fine Human Being)
A note from the editorial board at The Babylon Bee:
A number of people have questioned our love for Hillary Clinton based on some satirical pieces published on our site recently.
We would like to clear things up by saying that Hillary Clinton is an upstanding citizen and a very fine human being. She is of excellent character. She would never hurt anyone. The people who wrote those jokes, headlines, and pieces that seemed to criticize Hillary have been dealt with.
Some conspiracy theories have been going around about the Clintons, and we think that's just despicable. Deplorable, really. From Bill's time in the White House all the way through Hillary's spotless record as Secretary of State, the Clintons have served this country with honor and not a hint of scandal. For people to suggest they are so powerful and sinister to kill those who might expose some non-existent "wrongdoings" in their past is treason, really.
We just want to make certain that it's clear how much we respect, love, and honor the Clintons. Honestly, they're our favorite politicians of all the politicians, way better than that Trump guy. It's a real shame Hillary didn't win. She's our president.
Above all, we want to make sure Hillary does not question our loyalty to her and the whole Clinton family. We have nothing bad to say about her. Also, just to be clear, we have no dirt or inside information on her whatsoever and nothing would be gained by our untimely deaths.
So, Hillary, we love you! Please do not hurt us.
"Hillary Clinton is an upstanding citizen and a very fine human being. She is of excellent character. She would never hurt anyone. "
I think the author even named his pet toads Bill and Hillary. Bill is the horny toad, Hillary is the drunk house toad, if he happens to post their picture. /s
< /s >
I’ll even nominate her for a special award: “Inmate of the Year”!
Prophetic, in a way, wouldn’t you say ?
Said no one ever.
Adolf Hitler: October, 26 1947, Argentina
“Hillary Clinton is an upstanding citizen and a very fine piece of sh...
There must be some sort of mistake. I think this op-ed was supposed to run in the New York Times.
Was the Bab Bee serving koolaid drinks afterwards? What a load of crock.
And those ankles! My goodness, so sexy, such good looking ankles! We didn’t mean any of that cankles stuff, really.
Somehow the C key got stuck on the keyboard. It was the russians! I swear!
You just won the internet.
Hilarious!
The DemoSlut party.
I’ll take ‘lying out your ass’ for a $1000, Alex.
Yes, an upstanding citizen and fine human being who happens to be on my list of politicians never to precede down a long steep staircase...
3 times? I thought it was 14 times, and then the Arkancide victim, must march his dead body, all the way to Fort Marcy Park. 😁
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